文|仙仙
received a letter from a female reader not long ago. It was originally a screenshot of a chat. The conversation was as follows:
"I am really afraid of getting sick, and it is very dirty and disgusting. Aren't we usually pretty good?" Isn't it good to have a normal posture? Can you give up this idea? I can give you a 'mouth' but I can't accept this."
"Really, I'll give it a try."
I saw this conversation for the first time. Because I didn't read it carefully, I still didn't understand the actual meaning of the conversation between men and women. Only after reading it carefully did I understand the deeper meaning, and gradually understood what the female readers hated. But this is what my husband likes. At the same time, it was because of this ideological difference that the couple had constant conflicts, almost to the point of divorce.
But I still asked what it was, and the female reader still clearly said it was the back part of the body that "sings across the river and the flowers in the backyard". The conversation is summarized as follows.
"My husband is a master's degree, and we have been together for 9 years. Before, we had discussed and discussed our life and husband's life, and it was very harmonious. I really don't know why he would do this. He is so persistent that he never refused me when I wanted to applaud him. Now he is still very good to my children and nice to me, but he is unwilling to touch me unless I agree to his request
. Let’s start from a month ago. That time he didn’t know where he saw it and insisted on developing my “back garden flower”, but I was really scared and felt dirty and couldn’t accept it, so I I refused, but I never expected that he would be angry about it, and he wouldn't even touch me for a month. But before, no matter how angry he was, it never lasted more than a week, and the cold war never lasted more than 3 days.
But now... I don't want to. After divorce, I feel that I am living a happy life, but I cannot accept that request. Am I wrong? Will other wives accept it? I am really unwilling to try it physically and mentally.
In fact, I also doubted it! I also checked his cell phone to see if he was cheating on me, and even followed him while he was off work, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. He was really what people often call a model husband, good at everything, except for this.
Right. I'm thinking about finding a toy for him, but I don't know if he will accept it.
I can't tell anyone I know, so I can only look it up on the Internet. I watch love action movies from "Island Country", mostly from Europe and the United States. I have also briefly watched a few, and I feel that they are more affected by these things.
In addition, he is currently on the rise. During his career, he seems to be under a lot of pressure, and he doesn’t want to take this pressure home with him. He often plays happily with his children until they fall asleep, and then works until midnight before going to bed. To be honest, I feel very sorry for him.”
The female reader stopped abruptly at this point. She must be busy with other things. She asked more questions but never received a reply. But actually speaking of this almost explains everything about her and her husband.
It can be seen that the female readers are still very satisfied with life and feel very happy. The husband has a successful career and is motivated. He behaves like a husband and father to his family and children. Even if he is under great pressure, he rarely Complain, as a man silently bear all this.
As for all this, female readers as wives can feel it, and they also show distress and want to help their husbands relieve stress, and this also gets to the point.
can see that her husband has the habit of watching short movies, which is probably one of the ways for him to vent his stress, so he became interested in "Back Garden Flowers" and hoped to try it with his wife.
In my opinion, there are two main reasons why couples have conflicts over this. The first is that the husband will definitely be unhappy when he is rejected, but this is not the main reason. The main reason is the second point, which is himself. After working so hard, why can't his wife understand him and satisfy his little quirks?
Indeed, there is nothing that cannot be solved between husband and wife. It just depends on whether they want to solve it or not. The reason why the wife cannot accept her husband's special hobbies is that she thinks he is dirty and may get sick. However, with some lubricating props and sufficient preparation, these things can be completely avoided. Satisfying your husband is actually one of the signs that you feel sorry for your husband, and it may not necessarily be impossible to do.
There may be many people who ask why the wife should make such a big sacrifice. It is true that this kind of thing can only happen if there is mutual consent. It will definitely be painful to do it against one's heart. However, female readers have deep feelings for this family and their husband, which can be seen especially in the sentence "I feel sorry for him". And between husband and wife, one party needs to pay first, so why can't it be the wife?
says it all. In fact, if you really don’t like it, you can refuse it. In the end, if you can’t negotiate, you can even divorce. However, this is not the result that the wife wants. Therefore, for the sake of marriage and family, she can only tolerate or compromise. In fact, compromise is not necessarily Bad things, sometimes what you think are painful, may turn into happiness after personal experience. Especially when you do happy things with the people you like, as long as you are gentle enough, there is no pain. Just say it, let alone worry about whether it is fate or not. Tribulation.
As the old saying goes: One day brings a hundred days of kindness to a couple. Only by discussing and communicating with each other can husband and wife achieve true happiness. Although my answer is mostly on the side of men, one slap cannot make a difference. Conflict between husband and wife must be a problem between two people. It is wrong for a husband to force his wife to do something. , and it is by no means said that he is the reasonable party.
However, if you love him, let him go, do good hygiene, and put down the burden in your heart. There is no way in the world, but the more you walk, the more you walk. This saying also applies to female readers. Communicate well and advance and retreat appropriately. This is the attitude that couples should have. Marriage is not easy, but do it and cherish it!
