The mother and daughter are connected to each other. The daughter is a caring little cotton jacket, and the mother also understands her daughter's little emotions.
Many times, when we encounter difficulties outside, we will think of complaining to our mother. Maybe our mother can’t help, but if we say it out, our emotions will calm down.
But not every mother and daughter can live in peace. Chen Rong has a lot of opinions about her mother. In her opinion, it is all her fault that she has a bad marriage.
1. Hate to marry, and regret after marriage.
Chen Rong has a younger brother at home. After she graduated from high school, she entered a factory to work under the introduction of a friend and had dated twice before marriage.
First in love, the man was 8 years older than her, and treated her very well when she was in love. She also went to the man's house to check it out. The man's parents are nearly 70 years old and are not in good health.
They are looking forward to their son getting married early so that their daughter-in-law can handle housework , and they can breathe a sigh of relief. This is not the life Chen Rong wants at all. She said that she did not do housework at her parents' home and could not do it even after getting married. The two broke up shortly after.
The second time in love, the man is in business, his income is high and low, and he has not seen much net profit in a year. Chen Rong felt that the other party had no future and broke up decisively.
In a flash, Chen Rong is not young. In the countryside, she is not married at the age of 30, so she is easily gossiped about her mother. Her mother was worried about her marriage and asked people to introduce her to her daughter everywhere. Someone introduced her to a divorced man. The man had a house but had a daughter.
Chen Rong is an unmarried woman. She looks down on the other person at all, but her mother kept urging her to stop being picky and being good to herself as soon as possible. If she is picky or picky, she may not find a better person than this.
At the urging of her mother, Chen Rong married her and regretted it after marriage. The two of them had no common language at all. She felt that it was her mother who ruined her life.
The mother felt very wronged and thought that her daughter was too ambitious. Since she got married, she should put her small family first and learn to endure hardships.
The mother and daughter have a big difference in their thoughts. The mother is a traditional woman. She is hard-working and believes that her daughter must also adhere to this concept. , but obviously, her daughter has a personal pursuit. She got married under pressure, but marriage is not what she wants, so she will naturally regret it.
2. The mother stands on the side of the son-in-law, making her daughter feel uncomfortable.
After marriage, Chen Rong and her husband are separated from each other. Her husband has his own business and will often travel on business.
After she became pregnant, she really hoped that her husband could accompany her. She didn't want to take care of her daughter at all, so she moved to her parents' home. After get off work, she lay on the sofa to play with her mobile phone. Her mother advised her to learn cooking. Chen Rong replied, " Just make it and call me, I don't like cooking."
When the child was about to be born, Chen Rong was afraid of pain and chose to have a cesarean section. She really wanted her husband to stay by her, but her husband just found her for her. After a nanny, I was busy with things. When I received a crying call from Chen Rong, the husband asked back: "Isn't it normal for a woman to have a baby? With a nanny and a mother-in-law, what am I going to do? I can't give birth to a baby because of you, I will not do anything."
To be honest, husband's attitude is very cold. Even if he has a child, he should care more about his wife. For women, having a baby is really a big event in life, and it is normal to have fear in his heart.
What is strange is that the mother did not stand on her daughter's side. She felt that her daughter was too pretentious and just had a mother beside her to protect her. The son-in-law should be busy with her career with peace of mind, and conflicts broke out between the mother and daughter again.
Chen Rong believes that her misfortune marriage was caused by her mother.
The mother felt that her daughter was not doing well because she was too lazy. If she could take the initiative to take on the housework, her son-in-law would not be indifferent to her.
At the mediation site, the mother told a detail that her daughter would not take a penny out after getting married. Sometimes when she wanted to buy stationery, she would ask her son-in-law to reimburse her. The son-in-law was very disappointed with her and once publicly criticized her: " You have income, why can't you help me share it? You don't pay a penny for living expenses and don't do any housework. What's the use of marrying you?"
Chen Rong was not convinced. Of course, her husband supported the family after getting married. She had an income, but she didn't want to spend it on her stepdaughter. The couple often quarreled and had a divorce.
The mother advised her daughter not to be impulsive, to understand her son-in-law's difficulties, and to take the initiative to share the other party's pressure. If the son-in-law comes to her home, she will prepare a meal and call her, and try her best to protect her face.
These practices are extremely inappropriate in Chen Rong's opinion. She thinks her mother is too humble and should not please the other party, but considering that her son is still young, she is also hesitant about marriage and does not know if she should insist on divorce.
3. Live independently and grow yourself better.
From the perspective of the bystander, it can be seen that Chen Rong is an "Mama's Girl ".
Although he has grown up, his thinking is very narrow and he has no opinion at all.
First of all, she married someone she didn't love for the sake of face.
Chen Rong doesn’t love her husband, so the two of them can be more rational and get along with each other for more time.
But under the urging of her mother, she hastily decided to get married. On the surface, she seemed to be urged to get married, but in fact she had no opinion. What does it matter if a single woman is older? It is more terrifying to marry the wrong person than being single all the time.
Secondly, if you have no responsibility, you will be pushed to your mother when you encounter problems.
After marriage, Chen Rong is still very dependent on her mother.
She doesn’t like doing housework, so she lives in her parents’ home, but ignores it. Your identity has changed. As a wife and mother, the focus of life should also be adjusted accordingly.
The relationship with her husband is not good, and of course there are reasons for getting married hastily, but it is more because of resisting the marriage, which makes the two more problems.
Chen Rong never reflects on her own problems and puts the responsibility on her mother. In order to maintain her daughter's marriage, her mother had to be humble and seek perfection, which made people feel sad.
From another perspective, if her daughter is excellent, which mother would be so humble? The reason why she protects her son-in-law is entirely for her daughter, and she is afraid that she will become a single mother.
In addition, not knowing how to manage yourself makes life a mess.
Everyone needs to be responsible for their own life. There is a saying that goes: "Doesn't live well before the age of 30 are the reason for the original family. If you don't live well after the age of 30 are the reason for your own."
If you really don't love the other person, you can choose to divorce, there is no need to be stuck in trouble all the time.
If the two have a chance to save it, it depends on the children, communicate well with their husbands and work hard to manage their marriage, at least to make your life without regrets.
The most feared state is that cannot live without the other party, and refuses to accept the other party , so it can only waste your youth in wasted time.
Chen Rong is very pitiful. She has a loveless marriage, but her pity is also caused by herself, because she can't figure it out clearly, the problem is not with others, and it is herself who needs to change.
You have never worked hard for your marriage. How can you judge whether this marriage is worth it?
As a wife and mother, she also treats herself as a "little princess" and asks someone around her to take care of her but refuses to understand the other party. How can she get the other party's recognition?
If we want to gain respect from others, we must first respect ourselves.
Only when a woman loves herself well, manages her life well, and dares to refuse what she opposes can she have herself.
A good marriage is not something you want, but something you get by your own business. You must find the person you love and then go in both directions to make your life better and better.
