Many women who have been cheated have asked this question: "Should I bet a mistress?"
"Bet a mistress" can easily retaliate against themselves, but "not bet a mistress" and can't swallow the tone in my heart.
Today I will share with you the real story of Ajiu and see how she did it "If you don't fight or make trouble, you will drive the mistress crazy" , and also let your husband return to his family obediently and take practical actions to make up for the harm he has done to himself.
01
Don’t fight or make trouble, the original wife drives the mistress crazy
My husband and I have been married for ten years and have two children. He does business by himself. He is a good man in the traditional sense. A year ago, I found out that he actually cheated.
Follow the clues, I quickly grasped the basic information of the mistress. A young girl in her 20s, beautiful and energetic. She met her husband when she was talking about business. Judging from the chat records, she is very clingy and knows how to please men.
If it were just that, that would be fine, but what I could never have imagined was that the mistress was actually pregnant and the due date next month.
I handed the child over to my in-laws, and then returned home and put all the evidence in front of my husband and asked him to give me an explanation. When my husband saw the photo, he was stunned. He was very anxious and told me that after the mistress was pregnant, he persuaded me to abort the child. The mistress was not right and insisted on giving birth to the child.
I was very heartbroken and cried bitterly for a while. Finally, I told him that I am willing to divorce and help him and his mistress.
My husband disagreed with the divorce. He said he couldn't bear to leave our relationship for many years, nor did he want to leave his daughter and son. My husband begged me for the whole night. Later, He proposed to transfer all his property to my name, and I temporarily let go.
I asked him if he knew that his current behavior belonged to bigamy , which could be sentenced, My husband begged me not to shake this matter out, he didn't want to ruin the rest of his life...
Although my husband did not agree to the divorce, as far as I know, he did not cut off contact with the mistress. During that period, I lived a very torment, and I couldn't live well.
Later, accidentally, with the help of a marriage counselor, I began to get rid of this torment and was willing to try and move to the point of repairing the relationship first.
I realized where I could grow. is too strong and likes to control it to gain a sense of security. but this makes him uncomfortable. In addition, he is not mature enough, so his heart goes out and uses cheating to satisfy his lack of value.
With the help of the consultant, I gradually learned to soothe myself and increase my inner strength when I was anxious; express my needs in a positive way; gives my husband the opportunity to take the initiative to take care of my feelings and satisfy his sense of value, etc.
In this process, has many subverted my cognitions over the past few decades. Some things are really difficult, but fortunately, with the help of the consultant, I worked hard to overcome these obstacles and received good feedback.
My relationship with my husband began to warm up, and sometimes I could talk and laugh, but I did not give up defending my rights, such as suing the mistress and returning all the money my husband had transferred to her.
The mistress was very broken. She sent text messages to my husband and called me every day, asking my husband to be fair to her, and asked my husband to apply for a birth certificate for the child . As a result, my husband said that he had obtained a birth certificate, and was confirmed as a bigamy crime. he advised the mistress to be more open, otherwise both of them would be in trouble in the future...
From beginning to end, except for the lawsuit with the mistress, I have never looked for her alone.
After the time is ripe, my husband and I communicated in depth several times. I said that I cherish the relationship between us very much, but I don’t want to add one person to the relationship , which will make it difficult for me to accept. I also know that he and the mistress have been together for two years. It is not easy to say that cutting off is not easy. I will give him three months to think carefully. He needs to make a choice and assume his own responsibilities.
My husband naturally chose me. As far as I know, the mistress always asked her husband for a fuss, wanting to force him to divorce, and forcing him to give her children a title. The two of them made a fuss. It must be because of this that it broke my husband's fantasy about her, and My husband's feelings for her were also completely wiped out.
Finally, the mistress saw that there was no hope of being in the upper hand, so she asked my husband for living expenses. I didn't want to do anything and promised to pay a fixed amount of living expenses every year, but I had to pay directly from me, and I didn't want them to have any contact...
Later, I also secretly sent someone to follow the mistress. She looked haggard and she was more than ten years old. Where did she still have the beauty of the past? I knew today, why should I be back then?
02
uses both soft and hard work, accurately hitting the pain points of the mistress
In this case, Ajiu did not face the mistress head-on, but what she did accurately stepped on the pain points of the mistress, asking for property, not applying for a birth certificate, breaking the fantasy of the mistress being promoted, caused the mistress to suffer real harm.
can be said to have fought a beautiful turnaround.
Although everyone's situation is different, there are indeed some things worth learning from in her approach. Today we will analyze and analyze it with you.
First, be clear about your goals and don’t be a “slave controlled by emotions.”
What is the most important thing before we do something? It is to determine your own goals.
Only in this way can "get what you want".
The same is true even when dealing with cheating. For example, many women who have cheated have the big goal of regaining their marriage, and at the same time, they are not having a good time to have a mistress and taste the hardships they have suffered.
But they are often driven by emotions and make various impulsive behaviors.
For example: beating a mistress, crying to relatives and friends, telling the mistress’s husband, etc. In the end, it only makes the husband feel more distressed to the mistress, and also hates his wife for losing all face. The relationship between the husband and wife is completely broken, and the original wife cannot achieve her goal.
It is really a loss to do things regardless of your goals and be impulsive.
Then how did Ajiu do it? She figured out her goal from the beginning:
or her husband returns and cut off contact with her mistress;
or her husband divorced, and she used the other party's guilt and handle to let him leave the house with nothing.
After determining the target, Ajiu's behavior was aimed at this goal, which made her generally satisfied with the result in the end.
Second, use both soft and hard to hit the key points
So after determining the target, what did Ajiu do mainly? To summarize it, use both soft and hard to hit the key points.
Ajiu used a lot of "soft" methods:
For example, Ajiu cried sadly in front of her husband, which made her husband see - the wife cared for herself; the harm caused by cheating on her wife greatly aroused her husband's guilt.
For example, Ajiu supplemented her inner strength, turned "strong" into "soft", turned "accusation" into "understanding", these repaired the relationship between the two, made the family warm and attracted the husband.
The opposite wrong approach is to point to the man's nose and scold him. This behavior of expressing "injured" will only allow men to see the strong side of women, like a tigress, wanting to run far away, but cannot see the hurtful mood under their strong strength.
At the same time, Ajiu's "soft" side is also reflected in: he did not hurt the mistress from specific behaviors, such as beating the mistress, suing the mistress unit, etc. Ajiu only does things to protect his own rights and interests and always stands on the right side.
Of course, "soft" is not enough, Ajiu still has many "hard" means.
For example, Ajiu cried and said to her husband: " I am willing to divorce and help you and the mistress."
This aroused the panic in his husband. He knew that his wife was not afraid of divorce, and these prompted him to make promises and make a series of actions to make up for Ajiu's pain.
In addition, Ajiu's "hard" methods include:
prosecuting the mistress and getting back his own money;
implying that his husband can sue him for bigamy, so that his husband dare not apply for a birth certificate;
negotiating with his husband, giving his husband three months, and having to make a choice.
A Jiu's behavior caused substantial double harm to the mistress economically and emotionally.
Overall, in dealing with mistresses, Ajiu has achieved the eight words of , using both soft and hard, directly hitting the key points. On the basis of protecting her rights, she did not tear her relationship with her husband. Instead, she used her injured side and various chips in her hands. allowed her husband to unify the front line with herself, and in a practical sense, punished the third party.
is a systematic project that requires knowing oneself and enemy, and to win every battle. We need to deal with different types of husbands and mistresses of different types. There are many subtle links in that need to be paid attention to. ’s strategies that are suitable for others are not necessarily suitable for you. If you don’t know how to do it and how to negotiate with your husband, you can come to me.
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