Text: Xiaoning Picture: From the Internet
I saw an article today saying that the old neighbor sold a house and paid for supplies to buy a house in another place. The old couple was also preparing to move over to live with their son. The comments below the article almost one-sidedly say that the elderly will regret it one day in the future. I think people's comments are still very realistic. I met such an old couple in , southern .
When I was helping my daughter see her children in the south, I would do activities in the park every day in my spare time, and I met many elderly people who were like me. Among them, there was an old couple from Hunan. Because they couldn't quite understand their dialect, we just met and said hello and had never had any in-depth interactions.
One afternoon, when I was out for a walk, I saw the old couple in a relatively remote location in the park. The two of them sat on the bench, the old man bent down, holding half of his face with one hand and holding the lit cigarette in the other. The cigarette rolled in his hand, not like he was going to smoke, but was playing with it.
The old lady sitting next to her eyes were red and swollen, as if she had just cried.
The two of them looked like this, obviously they had something to worry about. They wanted to not disturb them, for fear of causing embarrassment. In such a city, the most feared thing between people is to be spy on privacy. But after all, I am already familiar with it. It is a common gift to say hello to each other when I meet. It seems that it is not good to walk over if I don’t see you.
As I used to pretend to say hello inadvertently, I wanted to walk over. Unexpectedly, the old man suddenly shouted, "Sister, come here and sit down and sit down and chat with them."
Now, I was embarrassed to leave again, so I sat down and chatted with them. While talking to the old man about the weather, I saw the old lady who had not spoken secretly wiping her tears. I asked the old man with my eyes, and the old man seemed to be careless, "Haha! I can't think anymore, I've been crying for a long time."
Then, he told the story of his family in very unstandard Mandarin .
The old couple are farmers in a suburban urban area in a third-tier city in Hunan, with two daughters and one son. The children all work here because they are not very educated and do relatively ordinary jobs and their income is average.
More than ten years ago, my son told them that he had a partner and the woman asked to buy a house here. My son said that the houses here are rising prices every year, and if you want to settle down here, it will be a matter of time before you buy a house. If you buy it now, you will definitely make a profit. If you drag on it, you may become less and less affordable.
But he didn't make much money himself and hadn't saved enough down payment. He hoped that his parents would sell their house in their hometown and provide him with subsidies. Anyway, I will only be my son in the future, so I will definitely live with me and I will support you.
The old man said that in his hometown, his daughter is an outsider when she gets married, and her parents help her daughter very little. When she gets old, they basically rely on her son, so it is natural to help her son. They felt that their son made sense. After his son got married, it was their obligation to take care of his children. They had been mentally prepared to move over and live with his son.
But I rely on farming for my whole life and have not accumulated much family business. It is the ancestral home, which is located in a good location and is on the edge of the city, and the price is no lower than that of the buildings in the city. If you give it early and late, you have to leave it for your son. If your son needs it now, just sell it.
They quickly sold the house, and their son immediately took the money and bought a two-bedroom second-hand building here. After buying the house, the old couple came to help clean it and do a simple decoration. Since then, I have lived here, watching my son marry and have daughters, and helping to take care of the children.
A few days ago, my son suddenly asked, saying that his granddaughter is in junior high school and is already a big girl. It is not convenient to live with you two elders, so why don’t you go back to your hometown! The old lady was so heartbroken that her son felt that she had listened to her wife and disliked them. She cried that day and couldn't get along with her.
Listening to the old man, I said to the old lady, "You came here to help before the child was born, and you have done your best.The child is grown up, so my son will give you a long vacation, so it’s great to let you live your own life easily! What's wrong with this? "
The old lady said in a crying voice: "My good sister, how can this be a long holiday for us? It’s obvious that my wife can’t tolerate us, so she’ll burn the bridge when she crosses the river! Let’s go back to our hometown, where can we have home? Our home has been sold and subsidized for them. Will we go back and hang out in the open space? "
. I just listened to it for a long time and forgot about this. Indeed, where did the second elder live when I went back? The old man continued, "We have been out for more than ten years, and our hometown has changed a lot. We sold our house for more than 100,000 yuan to my son. Now when we go back, we will buy another house like that, which costs 700,000 to 800,000 yuan. My son said that housing prices here are rising year by year, but he didn’t expect that the houses in my hometown have also risen year by year in recent years.
The biggest loss is that our old house caught up with the demolition, and the profit of buying a house was huge. We were so cowardly when we heard this news. But it is difficult to settle the account with my son like this, so I feel depressed and uncomfortable. My son proposed to let us go back to our hometown. Do you think the old lady can be unhappy? ”
Before the old man finished speaking, the old lady shouted loudly: “That’s not my son at all. My son is still filial, it’s all for his wife! "
It turns out that the old lady and her daughter-in-law had a mouthful during her confinement period. Because of the two old people, they couldn't remember it clearly, but the daughter-in-law kept it in her heart. She had been in her heart for more than ten years and was basically nothing to talk to her mother-in-law. She ate it when the rice was cooked, and she never cleaned it up after eating. The old lady always complained about this, for fear of affecting the relationship between the couple, but she was sulking and didn't dare to say it.
Another thing that made the old couple feel very angry. The old man had a small health problem two years ago and needed 3,000 yuan for treatment. They have no medical insurance and no salary income. 3,000 yuan is a considerable expense.
The old man talked to his son that he must have his son help him pay the money. Unexpectedly, his son said, "Don't I give you 300 yuan in pocket money every month? You haven't saved it yourself in the past ten years? "
The old man said, "When my son said this, I was so angry at that time, and I was all over my head. He gives me 300 yuan a month, but I smoke and sometimes drink a little wine, and I take it from these 300 yuan. Where can I save it? ”
The old couple was angry at the time by their son’s attitude. The old man said to his son: “If you want to speak like this, then let’s talk carefully. Please ask someone else how much does it cost to hire a nanny for a month? How much should you pay to your mother and we should calculate the salary of a nanny? "
Seeing that his parents were anxious, the son stopped talking and took the old man to treat the disease.
The old man said, "We know that my son is not very capable. He lives in this place with a lot of expenses, so he is also nervous. So we try our best to calculate that they don’t give much living expenses. In order to make them eat well, we never go to the supermarket to buy vegetables. We all ride bicycles to the wholesale market, so we would rather work hard to walk a few more steps. I didn't expect you to need him anymore, he was calculating like this with you. "
After hearing that they complained for a long time, I asked them what they planned to do in the end? The old man said, "What can I do?" Let's go! My son said that he paid us rent a house from our hometown. Is it a living expense? I went back and found some work to do, but I can't starve to death. The old lady cried not only because she was heartbroken, but also because she was reluctant to give up her granddaughter. I said she is like this, she raised her own way, can her granddaughter remember you? We just need to fulfill our obligations over the years. If we stay away from each other in the future, we can just take care of each other and stop worrying about it! ”
After that time, I really never saw them again. I guess they really went back to their hometown.
In recent years, I have seen more than one elderly person who had conflicts with their children after seeing their grandchildren. In fact, it is really unnecessary. As parents, to be honest, everyone hopes that their children are good. When children need you, it is appropriate to help the children as much as they can. The children don’t need it, it’s convenient for everyone to separate them.
Nowadays, the two generations have too different concepts in their lives. If they are together for a long time, there will inevitably be some contradictions and conflicts. Young people can be independent, and the elderly can take advantage of their health and live a peaceful life.
However, the premise is that no matter what, the elderly must leave a place for themselves to settle down and cannot clear their property in advance, so as not to let themselves fall into a homeless situation.
