I just had a video chat with a very good friend. L in front of the camera, with a tired face, told me about her troubles. With L's consent, I will record her troubles as follows:
L is a girl born in the 1990s. She graduated from college five years ago. Her hometown is in the countryside of northern Jiangsu. She has a younger brother who is three years older.
Since he was a child, his parents have never favored sons over daughters. The snacks are divided equally between the two children, and L has not suffered any injustice. However, what happened to L in recent years made L start to have a bad relationship with his mother, and he even suspected that his mother was plotting against him.
The first thing is that both L and his brother have graduated from college. Mother said to L several times: "You hurry up and get married, so that we can have money to marry your brother." (referring to L's bride price)
L was very sad every time after hearing this, because she felt that using the money from selling her daughter to marry her son was something that happened in her grandfather's generation. I never expected that the words would come from my mother. Every time, L would say to his mother seriously: "Did you give birth to me just to sell your daughter?" Then, her mother would say that she was joking. But L knew that behind any joke, there was seriousness.
The second thing is that last year, my brother planned to marry his girlfriend. When the issue of betrothal gifts came up, their mother and younger brother said, "Our betrothal gift here is 80,000 yuan." L was present at the time and was completely confused, because L remembered that her mother told her more than once: "Our hometown has heavy betrothal gifts. If your partner doesn't have 180,000 yuan by then, I won't be able to marry you."
L's mood was very mixed - the betrothal gift for marrying a daughter is 180,000 yuan, and for marrying a daughter-in-law, it will be 80,000 yuan. Mom plays double standards with ease.
The last thing happened recently. L has been working for several years and has not yet gotten married. This time, her younger brother finalized a major life event before her. L asked his mother last year how much money he should get if his brother wanted to hold a wedding. At that time, my mother replied: "The richer ones will get 100,000. There are also those who get 50,000." L was stunned on the spot. L is not a high-paying industry, and the total savings after working for 5 years is only 70,000 yuan. Due to the epidemic, work has become unstable. If all the money is given to his brother, then if anything uncertain happens in the future, he will have no room to move. L fell into anxiety and began to suffer from insomnia. But her trust in her mother prevented her from ever doubting that there was anything wrong with her mother's words. Until later, by chance, L learned from his cousin that her cousin had given her 20,000 yuan as a gift when her younger brother got married, and that her eldest aunt later privately returned half of it to her cousin. Then my cousin said to L: "You are not married yet. When your brother gets married, you don't need to take a share."
L said to me calmly: "Do you know? I felt like a fat sheep in my family at that time. My mother stood aside, fiddling with the abacus crisply."
Most of the people born in the 1990s are only children. Friends around me, when discussing marriage, both parents do their best to help, providing money and effort, for fear that their children will be wronged.
L’s story is not an exception. She showed me the different faces of an unbalanced world. But fortunately, L came to her senses and told me that she would refuse unreasonable courtesy.
I just don’t know how many people in the world are like L, who endure being plotted against by their own family members?
