When talking about the love between brothers and sisters, it is not an exaggeration to describe it as a sign of the relationship between brothers and sisters. However, if you want to discuss it in detail, it is not so reliable and not as tough as you imagine.
Some people say that being a brother and sister in this life must be full of fate in the past life, but sometimes because of a small matter in life, the atmosphere that should be harmonious is dissonant, and even cares about everything that should not be cared for, and shirks and plots about what should be tolerated, so that love from childhood to adulthood has evolved into a quarrel.
Although the relationship change is difficult to judge right or wrong, the sad feelings are real. Just now, Aunt Wei, who is over 60 years old, is worried about this situation. She could have lived a good life, but she has made efforts openly and secretly for her younger brothers. Unexpectedly, she was heartbroken because of her parents' retirement problems. She said bluntly, "It took half a lifetime to see through it. It's useless to be too good to brothers and sisters."
self-reporter: Aunt Wei
has a lot of birth and childbirth. It is a microcosm of her parents' era. I am 62 years old this year and have three younger brothers. Because the fourth brother came late, we were 13 years apart. As the eldest sister who came first, she started to help her parents share family affairs since she was a child, from washing, picking vegetables and cooking, and taking care of three younger brothers. It is no exaggeration to say that I am the "second parent" of my younger brothers.
At that time, the relationship between our siblings was pretty good. Although my younger brothers were naughty and often made trouble, I always curbed them without complaints. I would rather be "blame" by my parents than let them feel wronged. At that time, I was afraid that they would call me "sister", because they were always big or small, and as long as they called me seriously, they would definitely cause trouble again.
In the early years, the family was not in good condition and their parents could not afford to go to school for four children. In order to give the opportunity to their younger brothers, they went to the factory to work before they finished high school.
Start with an apprentice, only 20 yuan a month, 18 yuan is handed over to your parents, and you keep two yuan yourself. I usually save this and keep it for my younger brothers to buy some melon seeds and candy cubes, so at that stage, they were closer to me than their parents.
In order to be more generous at home, I have been working hard to learn craftsmanship and work more. It was not until I was 28 that I completed the top priority of my life under the arrangement of my relatives - getting married.
After having a small family, my second and third brothers came out to work, so I basically didn’t have to worry about it, but if you have any difficulties, just say a word, you will still help me. It is mainly for my fourth brother to study. My sister is responsible for the expenses for college. My husband and mother-in-law have complaints about me, saying that the married girl cannot always turn her elbows out, so that I can use more of my mind at home.
To be honest, the efforts I paid for my younger brothers were indeed a bit too much. In today's terms, it should be considered a "brother-supporting demon", but I didn't think so much at that time, it was entirely out of responsibility.
The second brother just entered the city. I used my relationship to find a job for him and also paid for his half-year living expenses. After graduating from technical school, my third brother has not been looking for a job well. He felt that he was hard and tired. I begged my grandfather to help him find a relatively leisurely job.
A flash, my fourth brother's college life ended. The whole family could take a break, but it made his parents very angry. The reason was that he was unwilling to work for others at all. He always thought of starting a business and making a breakthrough. His parents insisted that he would not listen. Later, there was no way, so I paid to help him realize his "business dream".
However, the facts prove that "it's up to you, it's up to you." The inexperienced fourth brother is not that material at all. He lost the money before he persisted for a year. At that time, I was already in charge of something in the factory. I had an errand under my command for my brother-in-law, but my fourth brother was not good at it. In addition to my parents' nagging, I really had no choice but to give the job to my fourth brother.
I didn't expect that because of my bias, my mother-in-law's family would offend me. First, my husband blamed me for being inhumane. How could I go back on my word? Brotherhood is more important than husband-wife love. My brother-in-law clearly said nothing, but my mother-in-law grabbed me and refused to let go. For a long time, my relationship with my in-laws was very bad.
. The fourth brother is not worried about it. They are all college students who have studied hard. But the younger brother just has no motivation and has arranged his work, but he is not satisfied with his work. He always talks about how capable he is. When the real chapter comes, he will definitely lose his links. However, he is his own brother after all, and he can't ignore it.
The husband couldn't stand me helping my younger brother like a nanny, so he often argued with me, especially when my younger brother got married, which made me completely angry and asked me regardless of the occasion, "My brother got married, we only had two thousand yuan. Why should your brother give 20,000 yuan to get married? Your brother is a kiss, and my brother picked it up?"
also said that my brother is just a prodigal son who can talk, and no matter how much I give, it is useless, but I think I was raised by the fourth brother since I was a child. I know my younger brother is better than my sister. I don't want him to give me any reward, but I just hope he will live a good life. So the more my husband is disgusted, the more I feel that he is unmannerable. After a while, as long as we talk about this topic, we will be quarreled.
I thought all my efforts to my younger brothers were worth it, but I didn’t expect that when my parents were sick, I felt the withering of family affection. Their attitude made me feel that all my previous actions were in vain.
Five years ago, my parents' legs and feet became poor, and it was inconvenient to go out and go in, so I couldn't live in the countryside, so I called my younger brothers together and discussed supporting my parents for their elderly. My idea is to take turns living in our four families, and whoever lives is responsible for it. This can not only reflect fairness, but also enable every child to fulfill his obligation of filial piety.
My parents agreed with my arrangement, but they attracted disapproval from my younger brothers. The second brother thought that I had the idea and should be taken care of by me. He could pay some living expenses. The third brother said that whoever inherits his parents' property in the future will be supported. If it cannot be settled for the time being, let his parents follow me first. The fourth brother looked worried and said that he was the youngest and his family was not in good condition and he really couldn't take care of his parents.
Seeing that they were unwilling to take responsibility, I wanted to do my own thing. They just need to pay some living expenses every month. According to my current conditions, it is not that they are missing their few miscellaneous things, but that they want to let them know that they still have a pair of elderly parents.
has expressed the meaning clearly, but the fourth brother is not happy, "Your family is richer than us and I am the eldest sister, can't you take more responsibility?" The second and third brothers also agreed, "No, sister, you must be careful about the conditions and meticulousness. Besides, our parents are good at walking around in the countryside. You can take care of your own problems when you are young, and you have to take over."
Later, I didn't know how they discussed it, so they even joined hands to perform in front of their parents, talking about their own difficulties, because they knew that I have always obeyed my parents unconditionally. As long as they say a word, I must have no temper.
result is really like this. My mother's meaning, my younger brothers are not as good as me, especially the fourth brother, who is not young and can't make much money, so I understand them more.
To be honest, I have a lot of complaints about this. Although I have the ability to support my parents, I really can't let it go when I see my younger brothers who have been sincere about me.
I thought my wholeheartedness would make this family more loving, but I didn’t expect that I was thinking too much, and in the end it became a hurdle in my heart. Sometimes I even asked myself, shouldn’t I take them seriously from the beginning and shouldn’t be too nice to them?
Last summer, my old father passed away due to illness. Before he had left for a month, my fourth brother rushed to persuade his mother to divide the property, and said that I had nothing to do and he had nothing to do with what he wanted. He asked his mother to transfer the house to him, and he had to pay more to his family's savings.
In front of my mother, I yelled at him a few words, but the evil man complained first, saying that I was not kind and wanted to take over the property. I also said that I have gained a lot of benefits from my parents in recent years, so that I would not be so greedy.
Every word he said was stabbed in my heart like a knife. At that moment, I realized that what my husband said at the beginning was not false at all, and it was thankless to work, and it made me feel very sad.
Since then, I have rarely been concerned about my younger brothers. As for how to deal with that little property, it depends on my mother. I put all my thoughts on my husband and children. Because some relatives become relatives when they become families, they become relatives. If you treat him as a relative, he will only treat you as a relative. In the end, they will not appreciate it and even complain.
Conclusion:
It is said that people's hearts are difficult to guess in the face of interests, and feelings cannot stand the test. The relationship between some brothers and sisters has faded or even worsened, and most of them are due to taking care of the elderly.
The day when an elderly person cannot take care of themselves, it involves the issue of providing care for them. If you hire a nanny, it is nothing more than a few families who share the fees equally, and otherwise, take turns to take care of them. Although it seems reasonable, as long as one person makes different opinions, he may lead the direction to the contrary. No matter how good the filial party does, in the eyes of the other few, they all seem to be hypocritical and have other intentions.
Aunt Wei’s story is a portrayal of many families. After the brothers and sisters who grew up have a family to society, their original intentions have become selfishness, and their brotherhood has completely become ordinary relatives.
So you must keep a proper position in any relationship. Giving and caring too much may not be a good thing. Keeping your own small family is more important than anything else, right?
