"Today, I got divorced. I misread the person. From now on, I just want to live a good life with my children alone, and don't bother me again." This is the update posted by Xiaoying on social platforms on the day of her divorce.
But after the divorce, his ex-husband Mr. Li came to pester again, hoping that Xiaoying could forgive him and remarry him. Finally, Xiaoying asked her ex-husband to agree to a condition before considering remarriage. In front of the mediator, Mr. Li promised that he would be trustworthy in the future and would take good care of his wife and children.
1. The couple married naked without a house or a car
6 years ago, Xiaoying was introduced to him and got married to Mr. Li. At that time, Mr. Li had a bad financial foundation. He lived in an old house, not even a car, and no deposit. Logically speaking, Xiaoying would not like him with conditions like Mr. Li, but Mr. Li went to Xiaoying's house every few days and always helped Xiaoying's parents with work. Xiaoying's parents felt that he was honest and that his daughter was reliable to follow him. As for money, the couple could make money together.
Just like that, under the persuasion of his parents, Xiaoying agreed to marry Mr. Li. Because they had no money at hand just after getting married, the couple discussed not having children first, and then consider it after a few years, and make some money first. But neither of them has the education or technology, so it is not easy to make money, so after years of marriage, life has not improved much.
In the fourth year after marriage, Xiaoying felt that she was older and should have a child. She really got older and got older, and the risk of having a child with an elderly mother is also high. So Xiaoying did not take contraceptive measures and became pregnant. It was originally a happy thing for his wife to get pregnant, but because of his wife's pregnancy, their marriage broke down.
2. His wife was kicked out of the house when she was pregnant and divorced
Mr. Li said that he had been married to his wife for 6 years and had a child, but his wife Xiaoying returned to her parents' home. No matter how he persuaded her, her wife was unwilling to come back. He can't even see the child now.
Mr. Li said that his wife had a lot of opinions about him, but the couple had no overnight revenge. He thought his wife was just going back to her parents' home in anger and came back in a few days. Unexpectedly, his wife would never return.
So what's going on?
Under the leadership of Mr. Li, the mediator found Xiaoying's parents' home. At the door, Xiaoying blocked the door and prevented her husband from entering. She was very excited and even cried. Xiaoying said that she didn't want to see her husband and asked him to leave immediately.
The mediator said to Xiaoying: "Any conflict between husband and wife can be resolved. Don't be excited, just say something."
Xiaoying did not accept mediation and said, "I don't believe in anyone, and no one can solve this problem." Xiaoying calmed down after repeated comfort from the mediator, and told the mediator about the reason for her divorce.
It turned out that when Xiaoying was pregnant, her husband was not considerate of her and instructed her to do this and that. She was so tired every day that her back hurt. That was not counting. When she went to the prenatal examination, her husband thought that the prenatal examination fee was too expensive, the frequency was too frequent, and the cost was too high, and said that she could not afford it, so she drove Xiaoying back to her parents' home.
Xiaoying packed her luggage and returned to her parents' home. She thought her husband would give her money to do living expenses, but her husband didn't give her a penny and continued to quarrel with her on the mobile chat software. Her husband said that in the past few years of marriage, Xiaoying has not earned enough money for her own expenses. She is the husband who is raising her. Now she is pregnant and still spends all kinds of money. He suspects that Xiaoying deliberately cheated the money to help her parents' home. Xiaoying couldn't bear it anymore and filed for divorce, but her husband agreed without thinking.
3. The wife gave birth to a child, and the husband begged his wife to go home
Now, the child is born, and the husband wants Xiaoying to go back again, but Xiaoying said he will not agree.
Mr. Li explained to the mediator that his wife might be in a bad mood when she was pregnant at that time and often got angry at him. His business was just starting out, and he was financially difficult, he was very busy and annoyed, so he said some bad things, but he felt that some prenatal check-ups could not be done, and he would save a little money.
Mr. Li's mother was also adding fuel to the fire, saying that she had never had a prenatal check-up for giving birth, so weren't the children born good? How could it be that pretentious? Mr. Li also stood on his mother's side and refused to let his wife have a prenatal check-up.
The wife quarreled with him for this, and he drove his wife out in anger, so when his wife proposed to divorce, he agreed without thinking. Mr. Li thinks that his wife is just a pregnancy, which woman will not get pregnant without having a baby? Is it necessary to be so expensive? Just because you don’t let the prenatal examination, you have to get divorced. Isn’t this a threat to yourself? Why do men have no wives when they are a real man?
But after the divorce, everyone around him accused him of his wife, saying that he was too much about him. With Mr. Li’s family’s conditions, he had already burned a lot of incense to marry a wife, and he even drove such a good wife out. He didn’t know what he thought. Seeing that other people's family is harmonious, Mr. Li also realized his mistake and hoped that his wife could forgive him and go back with him. After all, he is also the father of the child, and his wife cannot deprive him of his right to be a father.
After the mediator learned the reason for their divorce, he also criticized Mr. Li and said, "Do you know how important prenatal check-up is for a child and for a pregnant woman? How can you treat your wife like this? Is this what a man should do?"
Mr. Li lowered his head and stopped talking. After a while, he told the mediator that he knew he was wrong and would correct it well in the future and would love his wife and children.
But Xiaoying didn't buy it. She said that when she gave birth, her husband didn't even look at her. She was lying in the delivery room of the hospital. Her contraction and were so painful that her husband didn't even have a phone call, and she felt so heartbroken. At that time, she decided to raise the child alone and not count on her husband. If her parents hadn't repeatedly persuaded her and considered that her child could not have a father, she would not have remarried her husband.
It turns out that Xiaoying and her husband had divorced once, but with her husband's various guarantees, they softened their hearts and chose to remarry. But this time, she was determined not to go back, and she didn't want to be deceived by her husband again. Xiaoying said to the mediator: "What he loves is his business, it has nothing to do with me, I can take care of the child by myself." Xiaoying said that she regretted remarrying her husband.
Because of the original decision to remarry, Xiaoying spent another dark and tormented life. Xiaoying said that before her husband remarried, he was very generous and promised that she would take good care of her and raise her children. However, after remarriage, her husband did not do it. He had no money to take care of the child at home. Even if he bought a bucket of milk powder or a pack of diapers for the child, his husband had to check the payment voucher, for fear that Xiaoying would spend money randomly, so she no longer believed in her husband.
After remarriage, Xiaoying returned to her husband, and her mother-in-law did not help Xiaoying take care of the child. Instead, Xiaoying took care of the family's diet and daily life while taking care of the child. She said she really couldn't bear it. However, she did not get the recognition of her husband and mother-in-law, but instead controlled her to spend money. In fact, she did not spend money for herself, and she used it all in her family.
However, Mr. Li did not agree with his wife's statement. He said that he was not not spending money on his wife, but he was just afraid that his wife would spend money indiscriminately. After all, the family's financial conditions were not very good, and the burden was even greater after having children, so he hoped that his wife could save some money.
As for the fact that my mother did not help take care of the child, it was because the mother was in poor health and the child was very noisy, so the mother couldn't coax her at all. For this reason, the two had a conflict again.Xiaoying said to her husband, "You are just lying to me, thinking about remarrying. In fact, I never thought about spending money for me, nor did I think about understanding me, I just wanted to find a free nanny."
Mr. Li said, "Actually, it's not that I don't want to spend money for you, but that I really don't have money, so I didn't keep my promise. I didn't think about lying to you. If you believe me again, I will definitely not let you down."
But no matter what Mr. Li said, Xiaoying didn't believe it. She said that her husband just likes to lie and wants to lie to herself back. Mr. Li said that he had never thought of lying to his wife, but his wife was too domineering and never obeyed him. As a big man, he felt embarrassed, which was why he drove his wife away.
4. Mr. Li promised his wife that he would give pocket money every month, and the couple reconciled
Hearing Mr. Li say this, the mediator felt that the main problem was that Mr. Li was too calculating and did not treat his wife as his own person, and Mr. Li's mother could not interfere in the affairs between them and their husbands. As parents, if they are not able to help their sons and daughters-in-law, don’t interfere with their husband and wife’s affairs.
The mediator said to Mr. Li: "It's right for you to listen to your wife. You won't coax your wife or do things. In the end, the wife is gone and the children are gone. Will you live alone?"
Mr. Li was silent again. Afterwards, he said that he would not scold his wife casually in the future, and would raise the children with his wife, run his own family together, and do the mother's ideological work well, so as not to let her interfere in the affairs of his family.
After the mediator's persuasion, Mr. Li apologized to his wife again and promised to give her 1,000 yuan in pocket money every month in the future, and would no longer check where her money went. He hoped that his wife could go back with him and that he would not be in trouble again. Seeing that his wife still did not express her opinion, Mr. Li knelt in front of his wife and slapped himself a few times.
Xiaoying felt mixed feelings when she saw her husband kneeling in front of her and crying. She didn't know whether she should trust her husband. Finally, Xiaoying said that it depends on her husband's future performance and then consider whether she should go back.
Hua Xiaoyan: In marriage, if the couple lacks trust and tolerance, it will be difficult for the family to continue to operate. It is a small thing. A husband does not know how to be considerate and tolerant, but instead blames and calculates. Which wife can accept it? I hope this time, Mr. Li can truly recognize his mistakes and cherish his marriage.
