1
Territory consciousness is an animal's instinct.
Therefore, humans, as advanced animals, also have territorial consciousness.
This sense of territory may change due to the closeness and distantness of the relationship.
However, even if the relationship is as close as a family, they will have their own territory.
This phenomenon is particularly obvious in young people.
Unfortunately, Xiaoli met a mother-in-law who repeatedly invaded her territory.
2Xiaoli and her husband Abin met in a freshman year.
At that time, the two people joined the same club. Because they were assigned to a working group, the two gradually became familiar with each other.
Later, the two often made an appointment to study and have dinner together.
slowly got together.
Four years of campus love time, the two of them had quarreled, but fortunately the final result was good.
After graduating from university, the two got married.
After getting married, the two had a sweet time together.
When you work during the day, come back to cook together at night, and sometimes you don’t want to cook, so you just go out to eat.
However, there are unexpected changes in the sky, and people have good fortune and good fortune at any time.
The sweet world of two people has become three people living together.
This matter has to start a year ago.
A year ago, one Saturday night, the two were shopping outside. Abin suddenly received a call from his third uncle. The third uncle told Abin that Abin's father was hit and was now in the hospital for rescue, so he asked them to go back quickly.
However, the two of them were still one step slower after all, and Abin's father passed away.
Because his mother's mental state was very poor, Abin was worried about leaving his mother alone at home. Therefore, after he finished his father's funeral, he took his mother to his side.
Xiaoli and Abin knew that their mother-in-law was very sad because of their father-in-law's death. So, the two of them found various ways to ask their mother-in-law to get out as soon as possible.
For example, Xiaoli often takes her mother-in-law out for fun and shopping, and Abin often chats with her mother.
The emperor will pay off.
Under the careful care of the two, the mother-in-law's mental state has greatly improved.
Later, he took the initiative to go downstairs to play and made many good friends.
The two of them were very happy to see their mother-in-law like this and encouraged them to make more friends.
However, who would have thought that it was these friends of mother-in-law who almost ruined their family.
Events have to start three months ago.
On one night three months ago, my mother-in-law suddenly came to Abin and Xiaoli's bedroom.
Xiaoli asked her mother-in-law what was wrong.
Mother-in-law said that she wanted to invite a friend to her house for a meal tomorrow night.
of course the two have no objection.
In order to let the mother-in-law have a good meal with her friends, Abin and Xiaoli ate outside. In order to let the mother-in-law have fun, the two came back late for a while.
However, after the two returned home, they found that their mother-in-law and her friend had not finished eating yet.
Because it was already very late at that time, the two of them had to go to work the next day, so they went into the house to wash and rest.
However, what was unexpected was that the party between my mother-in-law and her friends continued until 2 a.m., and the chat was loud, so Xiaoli didn't have a good rest.
Xiaoli was very annoyed, but she thought that her mother-in-law invited her friend to her house for dinner this time, so she didn't say anything.
However, what Xiaoli didn't expect was that 5 days later, her mother-in-law invited someone to have dinner at home, but she didn't chat for a long time and soon parted.
From then on, my mother-in-law invited my friends to have dinner at home every few days.
And in order to avoid her mother-in-law and her friends, Xiaoli and Abin ate outside every time.
Just like that, two months passed, Xiaoli couldn't bear it anymore, so she complained to Abin and asked Abin to talk about this with her mother-in-law.
so Abin went to find his mother and told her to speak softly when having dinner with friends in the future.
Xiaoli thought that after Abin told her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law would be restrained.
However, on the contrary, the mother-in-law invited her friends to dinner more and more frequently. Later, she even invited her friends to dinner every day, and she chatted until very late every time.
Xiaoli began to wonder if Abin had really told her mother-in-law about this problem.
so she asked Abin.
A Bin was hesitant.
Seeing A Bin's reaction, Xiaoli understood that A Bin must have not told her mother-in-law about this matter. Even if she said it, she did not mention the key point.
So Xiaoli went to find her mother-in-law by herself.
At the beginning, Xiaoli told her mother-in-law calmly, but her mother-in-law's attitude made Xiaoli very angry.
"What's wrong with ? I can't invite someone to have a meal yet? Besides, how noisy it can be. If you can't sleep, it only means you are not sleepy! "
so the two had a big fight.
After the fight, Xiaoli went back to the house to pack her luggage.
A Bin asked Xiaoli where to go.
Xiaoli told Abin that she couldn't stay in this family anymore. When her mother-in-law left, she would come back. After that, she went back to her parents' home.
After Xiaoli left, her mother-in-law kept saying in Abin how ignorant Xiaoli was.
"Don't say it anymore! It's all because of you, I'll take people home every day! Now, Xiaoli is gone, my wife is gone! You said you, can't you live here well? What are you trying to do every day!" A Bin could no longer stand his mother's nagging and shouted at her mother.
"Why is it because of me? She is obviously ignorant! You blame me! I am your mother..."
" Stop talking, mom, go, if you don't leave, I will have to divorce! " After saying that, Abin went back to the room.
Recalling her son’s accusation, the mother-in-law knew that she had done something wrong, so she came to Xiaoli’s house to ask for Xiaoli’s forgiveness and promised that as long as Xiaoli went back, she would move out immediately and would never come again.
Finally, my mother-in-law moved away and Xiaoli went back.
After this trouble, Xiaoli and Abin's relationship is no longer the same as before, but time will heal everything.
3You may not have the obligation to respect others, and that will not be exchanged for the right to be cared for; if you have no obligation to understand people, then you have no right to be listened to.
Therefore, respect is important when interacting with people.
This is true for strangers, friends, and family members.
However, there are always some self-centered people in life. They only consider themselves when doing things and never take care of others' feelings. This causes harm to others, but they are completely unaware of it.
is like Xiaoli's mother-in-law, she has to wait until things cannot be saved before she realizes regret.
1. Learn to think from the perspective of others
There are always certain barriers between young people and their parents.
For example, young people don’t like to bring their friends home because they need their own space; while parents like to call their friends home because they think this is a sign of hospitality.
This is the difference in the times.
However, barriers can be eliminated.
Therefore, for a harmonious family atmosphere, we must work hard to eliminate barriers.
The best way is to understand each other and think from the perspective of others.
Parents understand their children's lifestyle and respect their children's lifestyle, thus making certain constraints on their own behavior; children understand their parents' ways of doing things, and on the basis of respecting their parents' ways of doing things, strive to bring their parents' thoughts into the new era and keep up with the trend of the times.
When conflict occurs, parents and children should learn to think from their own perspective, look at the problem in their own perspective, instead of subconsciously standing from their own perspective and looking at the problem in their own mind.
In this way, many contradictions can be solved easily.
2. Do a good job of communication
Leo Tolstoy once said: "Talking with people once is often more inspiring the mind than working behind closed doors for many years. Thoughts must be produced in interacting with people, rather than processing and expressing them in loneliness."
Therefore, communication is very important to us.
However, since you want to communicate, you need to communicate efficiently, rather than meaninglessly ineffectively.
Efficient communication is an important way to convey feelings and resolve crises.
. If you want to communicate efficiently, you must pay attention to two points:
first, clarify the communication information. Since communication is to solve problems, you must clarify your requirements during communication, and don’t avoid the important things for the sake of good face or being embarrassed. There is no such thing as a family, just say it.
Second, control your emotions. Because communication is to resolve long-term conflicts, it is inevitable that when communicating, they will inevitably be emotionally slandered each other, which will not only lead to ineffective communication, but also deepen the conflicts. Therefore, you must control your emotions when communicating.
text/Fenghua
