I thought that every couple in this world could take care of their parents and be filial to their parents, but with the development of the times, the pressure they have gradually endured makes many people not really take on the responsibilities they should bear. Children are helpless and parents are sad. This seems to be happening every day.
After all, not every family can have a perfect solution to parents' retirement.
spent 300,000 yuan to buy a house for my son, but I couldn't live in at the age of 60. My daughter-in-law: I'll give you two thousand a month to live by myself
Narrator, 60-year-old Aunt Zhang:
No one expected that he had been busy all his life, but in his later years he could only go back to his hometown to live by himself, and had no support around him. After his wife passed away, my life was in a mess.
My wife really died in her fifties. She fell into the root of her illness when she was young. She has been busy with work over the years and has no time to treat her. Finally, she couldn't control herself after getting older and eventually passed away. Sometimes I often say:
I knew I had earned less money when I was young and raised my body early. At least I wouldn't have left so early.
But no matter how much I regret it, it has become a fact. After my wife left me, I only had a house in my hometown, and only a few hundred thousand yuan left at home. Because we have been working outside to make money over the years, and there is no stable pension, so we don’t have much savings. In addition, when my son got married, we almost emptied the money for this life. Later, after my wife passed away, I continued to work outside. I didn’t make much money, but it can also ensure my own life.
From the age of fifty-three to fifty-eight, the five years when I lived alone were the most difficult time for me to live alone. I worked alone to make money and live my own life. I didn’t have to worry about my son. I helped take care of my child for two years at their family. Later, I was tired and had some conflicts with my daughter-in-law, so I left. And the most important thing was that I wanted to make some money to support myself. After all, the family didn’t have much savings. In my later years, I had to have money to rely on my son or daughter-in-law to support me. So I kept working outside.
I didn't stop until I was 58 years old. The reason for stopping was because I had a sick time at that time, which was stomach disease . I hadn't had a good meal for a long time. stomach pain really hurt so much. Then I quit my job and returned to my hometown to take care of my body. At that time, I counted the money in my pocket and counted all my savings. The total amount was 140,000 yuan. I also calculated specifically that if I saved some money in my later years and lived in this small immortal layer in my hometown, I could retire in less than 1,000 a month. As long as I didn't get sick, this money was enough for ten years. And I also thought about waiting for my health to recover and then going to see if there was a job in the town that I could make money. After all, I had been busy all my life, but in fact I couldn't spare my spare time in my later years.
Actually, at that time, neighbors often came to the door and told me to go to the city to live with the children, but I didn't want to, because I felt that I was not used to living, and life in the city was too strange. After I got there, I would stay at home at most. It would be better to live in my hometown where I lived for the rest of my life. This is also the retirement plan I planned, because my plan was to live in my hometown until I was old. If one day I couldn't move, I also wanted to stay in the nursing home in my hometown, or find a familiar elderly person who lives alone and took care of each other, and was unwilling to live in the city.
Maybe I usually refuse to go to their house, maybe they didn't think about picking me up for retirement, so in my later life, they never mentioned picking me up for retirement. They just called me occasionally and brought me a lot of things every time I went home, and I had no objection, but until I heard my son say that they now took my daughter-in-law's parents to the house for retirement, this made me very puzzled and a little angry. I asked my son privately:
"Why should I take her parents over to support her? How can I give my son to my father-in-law to my father-in-law? My mother-in-law is still alive, I didn't ask you to support me, did you turn your head to support others' parents? "
" My son replied to me and said:
" Her father Alzheimer's disease , and her mother's health is not good now. Her hands are shaking violently when she cooks. The two of them can't survive. Xiaoli (daughter-in-law) said to take it and live. "
I continued to ask my son:
" Then what should I do in the future? You don't consider your mother. What will happen to the future of retirement? "
" But my son said:
"You stopped working two years ago, so I said I would take you over. Do you disagree? If you insist on living in your hometown, then I can't do anything. When you are in poor health, I will definitely take you over."
I didn't say anything. To be honest, I felt a little disappointed in my heart. The child I raised is now supporting other people's parents. How can I be happy? Later I couldn't swallow this Tone, I also said to my daughter-in-law when the couple came back:
"I am sixty years old now, and my health is not good anymore. How do you plan to support me?"
The son didn't say anything, but the daughter-in-law said:
"Mom, what's wrong with your health now? You're not even fifty years old, and you're still young."
I said angrily:
"No matter how young you are, you have to support me, this is also an old man. I am alone in the future. I am not at ease. If I get sick one day, there is not even a person to take care of me. I have felt that my health is getting worse and worse in the past two years, so I am going to tell you to go to your house to retire. "
" My son said:
"Mom, if you feel uncomfortable, tell us in time, let's go to the hospital early, don't drag it. If not, go with us this time."
daughter-in-law said immediately:
"Where can I live? Where can I live in our family now? Otherwise, let's go back first and rent a house for my mother, and there will be a place for my mother to live in."
I asked my daughter-in-law:
"How can I rent a house for me? Why can't I live in your house? Why do I go to my son's house to support me, and I still have to rent a house?"
daughter-in-law said:
"Mom, you know the situation of my parents, they are now I live at home, and there are three rooms in our house, and I really can't live there anymore. "
I said angrily:
"Why don't you let your parents rent a house? I spent 300,000 yuan to buy your house for you at that time. I went to my son's house to retire. What's the matter with renting a house? I'm not afraid of others' jokes?"
daughter-in-law cried and said:
"What do you want me to do? My father is Alzheimer's disease, my mother is in poor health, and their lives are all difficult. Could it be that if I were my daughters, I would drive them out? You are in good health and can live in a house by myself, but they really can't live in a house by themselves! "
The daughter-in-law's crying tone suddenly made me feel at a loss. I wanted to be angry, and I should be angry. I was originally angry because of this, but after hearing what my daughter-in-law said and seeing her attitude, I didn't seem to know why I got angry. The son next to me was also very helpless, kept silent and looked sad.
daughter-in-law continued:
"Mom, I'll give you two thousand yuan a month to live by myself. If you really want to go there, I'll rent a house nearby so that we can go there to take care of you every day. But my parents' health is really not good, and they really can't live by themselves. When the child goes to high school and lives in school, I'll take it over immediately so that there is a room at home to live."
I didn't say anything, and the matter was given up. There was no final result, because I didn't have to go to retire, but I just couldn't swallow that breath. I wanted to ask them how they planned to retire, but I got such an answer. I expected, but I was very sad. I spent 300,000 yuan to buy a house for my son, but now I can't live in at the age of 60. It's not that they are unfilial. It's just that in the face of such a situation, it's really difficult to find a good solution.
I thought about asking my daughter-in-law to send her parents to a nursing home, which would make it better to take care of her, more convenient and better solve the problem, but I never said it. As a parent, if you live in a nursing home, you might feel sad.
Now I am still living alone in my hometown. However, after that incident, my son and daughter-in-law gave me more calls and more times to go home. I would also give me 2,000 yuan every month. My son asked me more than once if I wanted to go to the hospital for examination, but in the end I didn’t go. Although my health was a little bad, it would not completely affect my life, and there was no need to go to the hospital for examination. My son also looked for a house near their house, but I refused because it was too much money and because I could still take good care of myself.
As for how to live in the future, I have also thought that if one day I really need someone to take care of myself to maintain my life, I will go to the nursing home in our hometown according to my previous thoughts, at least there are people I know, at least in a familiar environment.
I didn’t blame my son for being unfilial, nor did I blame my daughter-in-law for not providing care for me. It’s just that sometimes I think of the house I bought for my son and my own son. As a result, I am raising other people’s parents now, and other people’s parents live in care for me. I still feel a little uncomfortable. According to others, it may be because I am not generous and tolerant enough.
