The reader wrote to me and said:
My husband was my junior during college. Because we were fellow villagers, my husband took more care of me in life. At the beginning, we were indeed a kind of brother-sister relationship, but after spending a long time together, we became lovers. My husband graduated two years ago. After graduating from college, my husband went to our alma mater to become a high school teacher, and I passed the civil service exam after graduating from college. The year after I worked, my husband and I got married. Our hometown is in the town and we are currently working in the county town.
About my husband and I: My husband is the kind of person who is unwilling to worry about many things, which leads to my daily housework and relationships. The advantage of my husband is that every time I give orders to him, he will never be lazy. In such a marriage model, both husband and relatives and friends think I am very strong. But in my own perception: running a family is not easy, and I am just a matter of worrying about it, that's all.
When our marriage life came to the fourth year, a new colleague came to my husband's unit. After that, my husband's work attitude and lifestyle changed slightly. As my husband’s legal lover, I can naturally feel the changes in the face of my husband. After inquiring, I learned that my husband was very close to that new colleague. In this case, I naturally have to negotiate with my husband. My husband’s description of this relationship is as follows: 1) They are just super friendly relationships; 2) The other party takes the initiative to provoke my husband every day, but my husband just doesn’t refuse; 3) The husband thinks that the other party understands him better.
My husband and I are also a product of love over time. If there is no magnetic field of love between the two, it will be impossible to get the result of marriage at all. At the beginning, we were just going to colleges in the provincial capitals of our country. Most of our classmates were from the same province. Of course, there were quite a lot of "members" in our county. In this case, my husband and I were able to become couples and eventually form a marriage result, which must be the least attractive to each other. Why has the relationship changed as the progress of marriage life progressed?
Muzili Emotional analysis:
Everyone has their own evaluation system. In our unique evaluation system, we also have our judgment of the people around us from our perspective, so that the same person will have some differences in the way they describe it from different people. Or there must be a distinction between people from far to near, which leads to different understandings of a person and different attitudes toward the people around us, which leads to different perceptions and evaluations of the same person. The result is: Too many people just get too close to each other, so they can see the other party’s shortcomings and advantages clearly. In the process of interweaving situations, let us show our true feelings, joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness in front of that familiar person. For this reason, there is a more classic saying: Everyone is half a human and half a ghost, and it is impossible to read it if you get close.
Regarding feelings, a more accurate description: no relationship can escape the cliché of opening high and closing low. This means that many people can show the strength of love during love because everyone is attracted by the traits that make them feel that they are good. However, after getting married, people will instinctively give elements of responsibility and obligation. In this case, there will naturally be too many trivial matters related to life, so that quarrels and nagging often occur between husband and wife, including many scolding and denial of their lovers, and at this time the lover will show unhappiness. During this period, if there is someone who appreciates you from an appreciation and admiration outside of marriage, you will mistakenly think that the other person understands you better than your lover.
Many people can become husband and wife after establishing a romantic relationship because they safely spent the running-in period during the love period and reached a consensus on getting married. It means that when getting married, both parties recognize each other.In fact, there are many couples who eventually manage a relationship to become each other's exes. They also believe that those couples who break up will be attracted to each other when they establish a relationship, but they find that they are not suitable for each other during the relationship and finally choose to break up. For this reason, I would like to remind all the people in the siege: those marriages that can be exchanged for marriage through free love must be cherished. There is no need to meet someone who has a good impression of you outside of marriage and think that the other party is true love.
Marriage was originally a relatively complex process of union. During this period, we not only need to examine each other's feelings, but also our three views. It will also carry the recognition of this relationship by relatives and friends of both parties. Especially after marriage, it will also involve related elements such as children and houses. At this time, don’t lose the marriage life that could have continued for the sake of the so-called freshness. Always keep yourself sober: the so-called romance between you and the opposite sex outside of marriage has also been presented between you and your lover, but as life progresses, the two parties have experienced too many trivial matters in life together, which has added some more ordinary elements between the two parties, but a plain life is a down-to-earth life.
Analyze your husband's experience of marriage from your description of marriage: you are unwilling to worry about it at all in life, but you will think you are strong more often. Reasonable: Whether at the work level or at the family level, people should adhere to the attitude of paying money, not having money to work, and having a sense of giving, but there are always some people who insist on taking it in their life that they are only willing to ask for money and get free. The selfishness imprinted in the bones often brings back the thanklessness of the party who gives more. In fact, no matter in life, whether it is the planning of future life, the cultivation of children, the maintenance of housework, and the maintenance of human relationships, there must be someone to worry about, otherwise life will be messy.
The ambiguity between your husband and his colleagues cannot stir up waves at all. There are three reasons: 1) Your husband is actually very clear about his patience in life; 2) There are too many ties between you and your husband with dedication, reputation, and children; 3) Or face a person who admires you, you can satisfy your vanity. But your husband has ignored one thing: being affectionate to the opposite sex outside of marriage is the harm to you. Now what you need to do: scold your husband more and take more strict supervision. You must have such confidence: you are Tathagata , and your husband is just Wukong. No matter how much your husband jumps around, he cannot escape your palm. His current show of showing off is nothing more than a blind show. In fact, in your husband's heart, you are the woman who is suitable for life.
Editor:
In married life, women's attraction to men is mainly reflected in the following aspects: 1) In daily life, whether they care about themselves and their children, even if they cannot agree with them sometimes, it is not a big problem; 2) Whether they can show the minimum respect and filial piety to their parents; 3) Whether they have saved money and awareness of future plans; 4) Ensure loyalty to their marriage; 5) You can quarrel or nag, but please make less unreasonable.
In married life, men's attraction to women is mainly reflected in the following aspects: 1) In daily life, do you have the minimum time to accompany yourself and your children; 2) When encountering some things that need to be decided, can you be the strongest backing for women; 3) Men's ability to make money; 4) Men's loyalty to marriage; 5) Whether they can show magnanimity to women at the level of trivial matters in life.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
