I woke up a little early today. When I was half asleep and half awake on the morning of the second day of the New Year, I suddenly wanted to write about my "dispensable" heterosexual love history~
has revealed more than once that I grew up surrounded by many beautiful, amiable and lovely women~ There are many aunts and aunts, many cousins, and even more cousins. The "many" here refers to about ten.
When I started school, regardless of middle school, primary school or university, my classes basically had the highest proportion of women in the same grade. It’s the kind of thing that makes me wonder when I look back, this female connection is really boundless ~
What’s interesting is that before I came out of society, in terms of “love”, I was as pure as a piece of white paper, and it seemed that no one of the opposite sex had ever entered my heart. Now that I think about it, this is probably called "people who are pampered are always confident", which is heartless. Or maybe I just "haven't awakened yet" ~
~~~
Until one day, there was a woman I just met who made me feel that she should be the one in this life. I can’t explain the reason, it’s just a feeling~ I’m not familiar with her family experience, education, social relationships, or her preferences and habits. I just know that I have a different feeling in my heart from then on, and I just want to interact and interact with her as much as possible whenever I have the opportunity. In a not too short period of time, there were some stories, but everything had not officially started, and it suddenly became the past in an unexpected way ~
At the time when everything came to an abrupt end and for a long time after, a desert instantly formed, occupying almost all the position and space in my heart, and all living creatures of the opposite sex who were not blood relatives disappeared from my sight ~ During this period, I even did a lot of actions that now seem to be extremely violent and twisted. During that time, I suspected that this desert would last forever in a mood of anticipation and worry. The feeling is real, but now it seems that "it's her in this life" is just an illusion or misjudgment.
~~~
Then one day, a woman I just met on a new platform caused a torrential rain in my world, which was enough to trigger any epic flood and last for many years. As a result, the desert in my heart instantly disintegrated, and it actually took less than two years from the formation of this desert to the dissipation of this desert, which is far away from the so-called "eternity" ~
is also not familiar with her family experience, academic qualifications and social relationships, nor her preferences and habits, but I feel that she is more important in my heart than anyone in the past, present or future. There is no basis or reason, just a simple feeling.
also looks forward to and strives for various opportunities to interact, but his performance is much "average"; he knows he likes it more, but he tends to be Buddhist in the results. While full of expectations for the future, what is more important is the calmness of "I am lucky if I gain, and my life is lost".
Later, it was not too short a period of time. I took the lead in leaving the platform, and the day before I left, I sent her a slightly affectionate message as a farewell. Looking back to this day, I don’t know why I was willing to leave that platform where I could be closer to her. This may become an unsolved mystery. Maybe the person I love most will always be myself! After
left, the desert formed again. Perhaps this time it should be regarded as a wilderness, or a quiet deep lake in a distant frontier. And she is like the wind, clouds and rain blowing across this deep lake, and like the breeze, strong wind and elven voice floating in the lonely wilderness; she is the beautiful sun and pure blue sky in the clear sky, the rain in the cloudy sky, and the long white clouds in the sunny sky.
probably won't last forever, and I won't remember to check her updates every day, but she is still there in my thoughts, the only non-blood relative of the opposite sex in my address book.
~~~
Is this all?
I carefully searched the depths of my memory again, and remembered that there seemed to be a special case. I was still in school that year, young and inexperienced.
It was the same day. I went home to help my mother guard her village shop, and my neighbor came over to chat with me.Suddenly a girl came over. I can’t remember what she bought. She seemed to be only fourteen or fifteen years old, not yet an adult anyway. She must be the daughter of some family in the village, but I don’t know her since she goes out to study and is not often in the village. The moment when
raised my eyes and glanced at her, I actually did nothing, but at that moment I was blinded. Except for remembering in my heart that she must be a beautiful face and pure and shining eyes like stars, I never remembered what she looked like. Because except for that glance at that moment, I could not recognize her in the future no matter whether we had met before or not. I remember that after she left, I just said to my friend, "My eyes are so bright!" My friend only replied, "It's very bright!"
~~~
That should be all.
is really fun! These three women are extremely special in my heart. I have never been able to clearly portray their images in my mind. I feel that there is a high probability that I will not recognize them face to face. If judged rationally and objectively, they must be good-looking, but they may not necessarily be "stunning" in the world. Maybe it just suits my aesthetic point of view, so it has a shocking feeling, and it has the effect of directly blinding my titanium alloy dog eyes, which do not need to wear glasses.
What stories will there be in the future? Maybe there will be a truly eternal "storyless kingdom" from now on. I am not sure. I only know that the elf with unclear face floating in the wilderness in my heart has transformed into my brain and will occasionally wander into dreams. Even though I hardly explore her current situation, even though I need to look through photos from time to time to get a slightly clearer image in my mind, she is still there, right there, and I don’t know the end point for the time being~
~~~
2023-01-02 Morning. After I finished writing, I suddenly realized, what kind of picture should I use to accompany it? I am really blind, there is no suitable picture to match ~
