1. Imaginary marriage
After getting married, I will never be tempted by anyone again.
The reality is:
This is all fantasy.
Scientific research shows that the peak concentration of dopamine is less than 28 months on average, and you and your partner will still meet someone who makes you attracted.
If you want to give up this temptation, you can only rely on your usual emotional accumulation + love and marriage emotional deposits.
Your constant savings and mutual care and love for each other have alleviated many thoughts of giving up on the marriage relationship.
2. Imaginary marriage
After getting married, a woman finally has something to rely on in life. When I am angry, he will comfort me. When I am lonely, he will accompany me. When I worry, he listens to me. I don't work, but he is happy to support me.
The reality is:
Each of us is an independent individual in a relationship. The consequence of relying on
is to scare away the other party. The same goes for husband and wife, father and son, brother and sister, friends, and colleagues.
For example, when you encounter troubles, they happen to be busy, so you call and talk endlessly. This can put a bad mood on both sides.
The wisest choice is to digest the negative emotions yourself first, and wait until the other person is in the mood and has time to listen to you before you talk. You must always understand the truth that even if two people grow old together, one person will leave the world first, and the remaining one will still have to face life alone.
3. Imaginary marriage
After getting married, have children as soon as possible. It's better to give birth early, because you have to give birth anyway.
The reality is:
If you and your partner are not ready to have a child, please don’t rush to have a child just because of your parents’ opinions or other people’s opinions, and don’t rush to get pregnant because of your age.
Please believe that the arrival of a new life is definitely the biggest thing in life! It’s not as simple as adding a pair of chopsticks.
Please ask yourself if you can be your own parents? Ask yourself again, will you care for your children patiently and love them? Can you be responsible for your children and give them an appropriate sense of security? Ask yourself even more, can you educate your children to be physically, mentally and spiritually healthy people even if you don’t have financial resources?
4. Imaginary marriage
After getting married, it is acceptable to live with the other party’s parents. If you love someone, you must also love their family and tolerate everything about them.
The reality is:
The relationship between husband and wife is the first priority in the marriage relationship, followed by the parent-child relationship.
After two people get married, they become an independent family. The husband and wife are each other's reliance and protection, not the parents or children.
Based on this situation, healthy interaction between husband and wife and the original family can be harmonious and orderly, and there will be no such terrible situations as conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and battles between father-in-law and son-in-law.
Please always remember: a family can only have one female master and one male master.
5. Imaginary marriage
Marrying a rich, handsome man will save you a lifetime of hardship. Marry Bai Fumei and save ten years of hard work.
The reality is:
If you need money, you can marry/marry a rich person, but please never regard wealth as the only criterion.
You must clearly remember that only (he/she) has control over (he/she)'s money. Think about the situation of Reikako in the Japanese TV series " Hirugao ".
6. Imaginary marriage
The wife will take care of everything at home, cook the meals, wash the dishes, iron the shirts, and clean the room bright and tidy.
would cut a piece of fruit from time to time, pour a cup of tea, bring it to my computer, and give me a massage to relax me from time to time.
The reality is:
What you are looking for is a wife, not a mother, and not a nanny.
What age is it? Ask yourself, is her job easier than yours? Does she face less social pressure than you? Can your family function normally without her income?
If these are all negative answers, why did she go home and do the housework alone? You know, when she agreed to propose to you, you must have promised to take good care of her in this life.
7. Imaginary marriage
If I fall in love with a piece of fashion worth a month’s salary, he will buy it secretly as a surprise for me.
We travel abroad every year and have romantic candlelight dinners at high-end restaurants every Sunday. On all holidays, I receive carefully prepared gifts from my loved ones.
He will hand over all the bank cards to me, and I can spend it however I want.
The reality is:
To a certain extent, a marriage relationship is more like a partnership. The family is your common project. How to make this project gain more than the expenditure~ is the key issue that needs to be considered first.
You must have a family account in case of unforeseen circumstances. A family will have to face more expenses than one person. The naive idea of spending whatever you want will only make you drink from the northwest wind.
If a man tells you that he has 100 yuan left to buy you a 90 yuan skirt and 10 yuan left for dinner, then this man is too brainless.
8. Imaginary marriage
Oh my god, I feel happy just thinking about living with Kerener in the future. She has a great figure, wears fashionable clothes, and speaks very interestingly. No matter what she does, I find her very attractive to me.
The reality is:
After marriage, you will find that he, like you, farts, poops, burps grinds his teeth, snores and is an ordinary person.
Li Ao said: Seeing Hu Yinmeng sitting on the toilet with a red face and thick ears, the perfection was ruined. In fact, this is just a very common life scene. You will also open your eyes and find that he has eye droppings and bad breath.
So, marriage will make your lover lose his halo, are you ready?
9. Imaginary marriage
When I get angry, I can say whatever I want. Anyway, the couple quarrels at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed. If quarreling can't solve the problem, let's have a cold war. See who can defeat whom.
The reality is:
It is indeed fun to say harsh words, but it is really very, very emotional and will not end after saying it. If you say something harsh, the other person will say something even harsher in return.
Such a vicious cycle makes it almost impossible to sort out right from wrong. In the end, the relationship slipped to the edge of rupture.
The cold war is the worst choice, because it becomes really cold when you are cold. At the end of the day, they will eat separately, sleep separately, and have fun separately. No relationship can withstand face-to-face coldness and indifference.
10. Imaginary marriage
Everyone has imperfections. If he really loves me, he will naturally change himself for me after marriage. Isn’t it said that marriage is a run-in between two people? In other words, TA must change.
The reality is:
Ask yourself first if you can change some of your habits for him or her.
For example, he likes to eat at home on weekends, then go hiking together, and then go home and cook a simple dinner together. After dinner, he might want to play a game.
What you want is to go out for a meal on the weekend, and then go shopping. After shopping, choose an interesting shop for a meal, and then a love movie.
Who will make the compromise in the end? Who will change whom? Don't always think about changing someone. In marriage, you can only think about how to seek common ground while reserving differences in mutual pleasure.
Marriage is not the tomb of love, but it is definitely not the paradise of marriage and love. Marriage is a matter of trivial matters and daily trivial matters of parents. Marriage needs to be practiced and cherished.
