The stricter you evaluate your own behavior, the stricter you will evaluate others. The less compassion you show for certain behaviors, the less compassion you show for other people’s similar behaviors. Humans respond better to encouragement, thus reducing anxiety. Anxiety can interfere with our ability to function, double our inherent sense of self-doubt.
The more sympathetic you are for yourself, the more confident you will become. Here are four tips to help you feel more compassionate to yourself:
1. Talking to yourself like a child
Note when you talk to yourself in a critical tone, use statements like "You are so stupid" or "Why are you so stupid?" Ask yourself, if you are willing to talk to your 51 year old self like this. Ask yourself if you feel encouraged or frustrated if you talk to your 5 year old self in this way. Consider if there is a friendlier way to talk to yourself. Then give it a try.
2. Use the statement of "you" and "me"
Write a line on a piece of paper in the middle. On the one hand, write critical "you" statements as if someone else was saying them (e.g., "you are lazy" or "you are messy"). On the right, write a compassionate “I” statement. For example, “I’m not lazy. I allow myself to relax sometimes and replenish myself with energy.” Or, you might say, “I may not be the tidy person, but there’s a difference between being messy and being unclean, I’m not unclean.”
3. Be your best coach
Becoming the best coach means talking to yourself in an encouragement and supportive way, similar to how a compassionate coach communicates with players. This is not meant to be in a Polyana style. Not being negative does not mean trading it as being too positive. It just means challenging yourself to balance your ideas.
When you use critical inner monologues, you are a bad life coach. These ideas don't accurately measure what you would do without them. They try to convince you that it is impossible for to "stay on track" without them. However, you don't need them. Talking to yourself compassionately will help you realize that you can be the best you can, without a passionate coach blaming you.
4. Be your own good friend
How do you talk to friends or family members when they are going through a challenging period or embark on a path that is not developing the way they expect? I suggest you consider the tone you use when talking to friends and family. In the way you communicate with yourself, adopt the same spirit, support, encouragement, kindness and generosity. They will be happy to notice that you speak kindly to yourself and you will feel better about yourself.
life is full of speed bumps. When we hit them, how we respond to ourselves has a lot to do with how much confidence we must have when facing the next challenge, self-efficacy , sense of self-worth and inner cuteness. Being compassion for yourself strengthens these qualities, which can bring us closer to achieving sustainable satisfaction.
