A reader complained to me that she worked very hard and wanted to abandon her morality and be an "Snap Girl" .
I don’t object to women being “snatching girls”.
Under the current unbalanced power structure, in the state of squeezed living space, and without other channels for improvement, it is understandable that women use their own advantages to seek some economic benefits.
But I don’t encourage women to be “snatch girls”.
This is not a moral issue, but a capability issue.
Many people think that being a "snatch a girl" is too simple, and Japanese love master Junichi Watanabe tells us in "Incarnation" that in addition to talent, luck, and ability, you also need to have these abilities.
01. Story summary
"Incarnation" was born in 1986. Once published, it became the top list of best-selling books in Japan of that year.
Preface says that little girl is not suitable for watching this work.
I think it is cruel and realistic. People of different ages will have different feelings when they see it.
Watanabe is worthy of being a medical student. His description of gender relations and men's psychology is like a scalpel, and the knife is cut on the lesion.
It talks about is a university professor and writer Akihara Daisaburo, a 50-year-old . After divorced his wife, he dated Shiko Tabe, who was 9 years younger than her , and while he fell in love with Yashima Kiriko, who was 26 years younger than her .
Mist is a Ginza drinker who came from Hokkaido countryside. She is petite and dressed up in a rustic manner.
Qiuye but he knew the beads with keen eyes and found that she was an uncarved piece of uncooked jade.
He invited her out for dinner, worked hard to feed the "poor bird" , and bought her high-end skirts and high heels. After dinner, I took her to the hotel and forcibly possessed her.
After that, the mist became the lover of autumn leaves.
Qiuye rented her a high-end apartment, paid for her to learn cooking, English, flower arrangement, tea ceremony, driving, bought her a luxury car, and sponsored her to open a second-hand vintage clothing store.
years later, Qiuye spent all the inheritance left by his father for Wu Zi, and Wu Zi left him a letter and left him.In the letter, Mizuko explained the reason for leaving and said that she would return the money for opening a store to him in installments in the future.
Soon after, Qiuye received a check of 600,000 yen from Mizu.
Qiuye understands that the relationship between herself and Wu Zi can no longer continue, and is very sad.
friend advised him, "Middle-aged men are with young women. If they don't have confidence to take care of them, they can only be willing to be "ferrymen" and send the young women to the other side."
Qiuye finally let go after hearing this.
02. Bed skills
As an intellectual who often rolls around in the field of romance, Qiuye has very high requirements for sex:
"In the relationship between the two sides of the gender, the bond of the body is much stronger than the communication of the spirit. Once the body communicates, it will take root deeply in the heart. Its feelings will expand throughout the body and will never be forgotten. As long as the bond of the body exists, the relationship between men and women can be maintained. Go. On the contrary, if you don’t need the other person’s body, the relationship is not far from collapse. "
" Men can separate sexually, which is a man’s instinct. If a woman has no sexual charm, it is worthless. Therefore, the one who can make men think about those things is an excellent woman."
However, from a woman’s perspective, he is a vulgar rapist.
The first time he asked Wu Zi to come out for dinner, he chose to go to the top.
Fog resisted fiercely, but after all, his strength was limited, and he was defeated shortly afterwards and turned into a bitter begging. However, this begging aroused Qiuye's desire even more. Wu Zi had no choice but to close his eyes and let him mercy.
Her obedience made Qiuye feel very disappointed, and even creepy: "Does she have any intention? She gave her body so simply, will there be people who are chaotic and erratic?"
He felt that men and women should maintain a delicate balance when they were in bed. So I hope Wu Zi will continue to resist and then take full care of his face, and half-reject it and half-respond to his wishes.
In fact, mist obeys him is just a way to survive.
Her stepfather is an old hooligan. She has often touched her since she was twelve years old. She has cried and resisted, but it is useless. I had to escape from my house and fled to Tokyo.
But Qiuye did not sympathize with her tragic experience: "I am a man. I think it is not surprising that Mizuko's stepfather had evil thoughts when he saw a young girl. If I were Mizuko's stepfather, he would have the same desire for her. This is not the stepfather's fault, it can only be attributed to the instinct of a man."
Listen, is this a human word?
"When a man is young, as long as he is satisfied with his sexual desire, he will not care about who provides his body. However, as he grows older, men not only need their own body to be satisfied, but also care about the other person's reactions and feelings. Satisfied desire is one aspect, and more importantly, experiencing the sexual process and the atmosphere at that time from beginning to end. Therefore, middle-aged men are more immersed in showing their sexual charm and being an excellent "planner" and "director", then their women will naturally become great actors with outstanding talents."
Qiuye's unpleasant experience of Wu Zi made her disappointed with the man, prejudice against sex, and made up her mind to train her to become a good actor.
You see, it is not easy to catch more girls. It not only tests morality, but also tests "bed skills" - acting skills in bed.
03. Output
There is a saying in the northeast: "I only see the wolf eating meat, but I don't see the wolf being beaten."
Many people only see Qiuye spending a lot of money on the mist, but they can't see that even when he is in the period when he is most obsessed with the mist, he still asks her to take care of her daily life.
"No matter how old a man is, he is willing to be a naughty child, act coquettishly in front of women, and let women serve him."
He is obsessed with the fog, not only because she is young and beautiful, but also because she has a temperament that is not commensurate with her age, simple and caring for people.
He asked Wu Zi to get up earlier than him and prepare a rich breakfast to wait for him.
He asked Wu Zi to make the bed and fold the quilt for him and do housework.
He also asked to stay by the TV set to record the TV programs he likes to watch.
He hopes that as soon as he enters the study, Wu Zi will take the time to send tea or coffee. When he worked late at night, he brought him a midnight snack without his instructions.
He asked the fog to understand the current affairs and to call it and leave as soon as it is called.
He asked Wu Zi to always remember his kindness, kneel down and thank him when he went out, and bow his head before the meal.
It can be seen from this that his demand for emotional value is not generally high.
Many emotional experts say that the most important skill in catching a girl is to provide emotional value.
However, this ability is definitely not as simple as acting cute, being gentle and charming, or showing weakness and pretending to be pitiful.
It is divided into two types: innate and acquired.
What is inherent is that it has strong empathy and strong empathy, which is the so-called understanding.
acquired is the height of thinking.
You You must understand the other party and be at the same level of thinking as the other party in order to resonate with it. If you don’t understand the other person’s problems and thoughts, you will not be able to provide the other person’s emotional value you need.
In a healthy gender relationship, two people provide each other with emotional value, and there is a virtuous cycle.
The relationship between the female and the financial owner is one-sided.
people's emotions are consumables, not durables, and require continuous replenishment and maintenance. Just like bank savings, you can only store emotional value and generate surplus if you get emotional value.
If you output unilaterally and do not absorb it, your emotional value gap will be created in your heart, resulting in an imbalance in your state. Then explore outside and find a way to make up for the hunting men who can provide you with emotional value.
So, Japanese female hunting and AV actresses end up spending the hard-earned money on male public relations.
Chinese girls often marry a young man after making money.
04. Control
Fog is not an active girl. She came to the big city because of escaping from her stepfather's harassment. She was forced to become a drinker for the sake of reality, but she still maintained her simple nature.
Becoming Qiuye’s mistress was not her choice, but caused by his deception and forced.
The reason why Qiuye spared no expense to create fog is because his money was not earned by himself, but the legacy left by his father, so he didn't feel so distressed when spending it. But this does not mean that he does not care about the heavy money at all. Second, it was because he wanted to make Wu Zi the ideal woman in his mind, a first-class lady who can handle any occasion.
Also a mistress, he never gave Shi Zi any financial assistance. He only gave her some clothes, handbags and other gifts when she was in a good mood or when Shi Zi celebrated her birthday. When they went out for a trip together, he paid Shi Zi the transportation and accommodation fees, but when they were having a meal, Shi Zi also paid the bill.
He is stingy with Shi Zi, on the one hand, because he believes Shi Zi has financial ability. On the other hand, he felt that it was good that Shi Zi could find someone like him at this age, and there was no need for him to pamper her anymore.
In other words, in a man's heart, if there is no difference in age between men and women, there is no need for men to help women in money.
In fact, Shi Zi raised her junior high school child alone and had to pay rent, living expenses, transportation expenses, and was financially embarrassed. Qiuye was just selectively blind.
Every amount of money he spends for mist is for himself.
He likes the beauty of women's body, so he brings fog to buy fashion and high heels and gives her money to do full-body beauty.
He wants his female companion to take her out for face, so he takes her to a high-end restaurant for dinner to improve her ability to appreciate food. Send her to learn courses such as driving, flower arrangement, tea ceremony, history, etc., master various skills and improve her taste.
He believes that women wear kimonoes with the highest elegance and elegance. Because kimono has a kind of "suppressive beauty", something lurks in dignity that stimulates men's lust. Although the skirt is luxurious, it lacks the hidden beauty of the kimono. As for suits and jeans, they will not arouse men's imagination in the slightest except for their convenience in movement. Therefore, the freedom of dressing in Wu Zi is limited.
He has cuckold phobia, afraid that fog will contact young men, not let her go out to work, and not let her go to socialize. She was not allowed to go to the United States alone to purchase goods, and she also specifically asked her nephew to take care of (surveillance) Wu Zi. Ironically, Wu Zi was about the same age as his nephew, and had a one-night stand.
He is obsessed with Wu Zi's body, transforming her image and meeting her material needs. However, as an intellectual, he has never explored Wu Zi's spiritual world in depth, never understood her true thoughts, and her emotional changes.
He spared no effort to transform the fog, and what he pursued was to create a work of art with his own hands, a sense of moral superiority, self-worth, and a vanity that obeyed his words and could not disobey.
He doesn't care what Wu Zi thinks, as long as she accepts his pursuit, caters to his transformation, satisfies his imagination, and obeys his control.
Fog is just a tool for him to satisfy his desires. It is his incarnation.
The so-called ultimate pampering is just a container for Sheng Zai's narcissism.
05. Seven abilities
"Men are not God, they cannot ask men to save themselves. Blindly demanding will only increase the burden on men. I realize that I can no longer rely on you too much, immerse myself in the arms of love, and live in the indescribable loneliness and anxiety. So please allow me to fight this uneasy alone."
fog does not conform to traditional values and moral values, but from her growth path, we can still learn from some positive things:
First, the most difficult thing to catch a girl is to hold back the nausea and perform joy and love in front of the person she doesn't love.
A reader friend said that she wanted to be a profitable girl a few years ago, but later she really met a financial supporter and realized how painful it is to live with people she doesn’t like every day. That would be like nausea after watching for a second more, and vomit after touching for a second more. This feeling is just like what Zhen Huan Zhen Huan said to Silang in "The Legend of Zhen Huan": "You might as well tell you that every time I contact you after returning to the palace makes me feel extremely disgusting, and so is Ning Pin."
Second, you must have super patience to fight for women and tolerate men's lust and greedy nature.
"A man has a mistress and looks forward to other women. If the situation allows, he always wants to get both women. Qiuye believes that not only does he want to step on two boats, but all men want this. A man's nature is that he will not be satisfied with no matter how many women he pursues."
. Snap women is not just a blind claim. On the contrary, scooping women should know how to give to others and be good at providing emotional value.In a gender relationship, men will only pay for their emotional value.
Fourth, women should maintain a high degree of self-discipline in appearance and body, and should tighten their nerves and conduct a high degree of self-examination.
All middle-aged and elderly men are human-like. Even if they like you, they will be afraid of you. Even if you make a contribution, you can only measure value and rational consumption.
If you want to induce them to give for you, you must know how to create a beautiful atmosphere and guess people's hearts.
What girls eat is youthful meals. In addition to extending their charm through various means, they also need to know how to increase their "replacement cost".
Fifth, you must constantly improve yourself and try your best to control your material desires.
A lot of money to make money from women has not been made, but they have developed the problem of buying luxury goods and spending money randomly. Finally, the man left, only gynecological diseases remained.
Sixth, the key to deciding to succeed in getting a girl is their intelligence, ability, character and personality.
You must stay awake, balance the relationship between yourself and the financial backer, and do not overestimate yourself.
only treats the other party as a cash machine and cannot meet a high-quality funder.
But if you really fall in love with the financial backer, you will also lose everything.
Seventh, you must know people well and have a powerful screening mechanism with its own system, otherwise the probability of failure is very high.
Miss Chen of Wu Xiubo, Professor Lang's flight attendant, and Song Siming's seaweed are the best examples.
In short, if a girl is a thirsty student, an actor with superb acting skills, a patient and gentle psychological counselor, an all-round nanny, etc.
But even if you have the above abilities, I don’t recommend you to be a lucky girl.
Because this is a short-term profit behavior, it will damage your life in the long run and is not cost-effective.
Bovova said in "Second Sex ": "The great luck of a man is that he must embark on an extremely difficult road, whether in adulthood or childhood, but this is the most reliable road; a woman's misfortune lies in being surrounded by almost irresistible temptation; she is not required to strive for progress, but is only encouraged to slide down to reach bliss. When she finds that she is fooled by a mirage, it is too late, and her power has been exhausted in the failed adventure."
Instead of trying hard to study men's preferences to be a girl, it is better to take her studies seriously, manage her career well, and build her inner world solidly.
The former can only make you merciless, humble and full of scheming. The latter can give you stable and abundant inner energy and stable happiness.
