"Zengguang Xianwen" says: "The two elders in the hall are living Buddhas, so why should we go to Lingshan to meet the World Honored One."
The respected old people in the family are actually "living Buddhas". Why should we go to Lingshan to meet the World Honored One? If you have a good relationship with the elderly at home, your family will be harmonious and happy.
Of course, you must be a respected elderly person with "virtue" to promote the development of your family. If the elderly have insufficient moral character and poor character, they will drag their families and their children and grandchildren down.
Whether the "virtue" of the elderly is enough is the key point. For countless families, once the elderly are too artificial and do not know how to be considerate of the people around them, the whole family will not have a good life.
Someone has put forward this view that an old man with no virtue has a greater impact than the combined effect of ten unvirtuous descendants.
The so-called "Good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles." people's goodness may not make people around them better. And personal badness will definitely make the people around you worse and lower the lower limit of "blessing".
In the family, if these four types of elderly people appear, you should pay attention, they will make your family peaceful.
1. It is difficult for elderly people who have too strong desire to control themselves.
Everyone has such a desire - possessiveness. And "possessing desire" is reflected in people, which is "control desire".
You must listen to me no matter what you do. This is desire to control; if I have any ideas, you must also have any ideas, otherwise it is unfilial, which is also desire to control.
In fact, Many young people will be particularly disgusted when they hear "control" and think, I should control my life, why should I be influenced by the people around me?
No matter whether you have a disgust or not, as long as the elderly in your family are too controlling and always like to impose their own ideas on you, you will never live happily.
Why do many young people prefer to live separately from their parents than to live with their parents? is because parents control too much, and they wish their children were their marionettes. This is actually not a good thing.
For the elderly, it is better to let their children go appropriately. When they grow up, they should let them choose their lives freely.
2. It is difficult to get along with the elderly who ask too many.
You made 10,000 this month, but your parents are not satisfied and think you have made too little. They also told you that other people's children have made 30,000, and you should learn from them.
After listening to your parents, you felt uncomfortable, but you didn’t feel good about refuting it. After a while, the parents told you what career a certain child had done, and complained that your career was not very good.
Slowly, there will be an irreconcilable conflict between you and your parents. Parents thought that their words would have a motivational effect on you, but who knew that they were counterproductive and directly alienated the distance from their children.
There are many elderly people now who live ordinary lives, but they require their children to live extraordinary lives. In terms of material things, it either requires the child to pay how much money or ask the child to buy a house, which directly puts invisible pressure on the child.
Of course, the old man himself does not know that these "requests" will have a bad impact on his offspring. The so-called "just because I am in this mountain" is this.
As an elderly person, you should accept the ordinaryness of your descendants and don’t have too many requirements. Otherwise, the relationship will get worse and worse.
3. Elderly people who do not understand their descendants will inspire family conflicts.
This is the point of getting along with people - considerate.
I know your difficulties, and you can understand my hardships. Both parties have made "compromises" in their relationship. I believe that this relationship will last forever and will not breed unnecessary conflicts.
, however, the word "consideration" in is very simple to say, but it is particularly difficult to do. Since everyone likes to think about problems from their own perspective, conflicts arise between people.
Take the relationship between the younger generation and the older generation as an example. The former hopes that the latter can understand it, while the latter always likes to use "filial piety" to conduct moral kidnapping of . After a long time, even the filial child will be forced to become an unfilial son.
Many people don’t understand, why do children not know how to be filial to the elderly? has only one truth, no one dares to mention it, that is, some elderly people have really bad personalities, and they don’t know how to get along with others or empathize with them. So which child can withstand it?
is the same thing. If there is no line in , please look for it in yourself. Perhaps, it’s not that others are wrong, but that the elders themselves are wrong.
4. The elderly who spend money like flowing water will make their children and grandchildren poor.
In real life, most elderly people face the misfortune of being "limited to their parents", and of course a small number of elderly people choose to "limit their children".
The reason why children are levied is because their children have no money to support themselves. But taking the initiative to eat small children is because the elderly cannot support themselves, but the children have a certain financial ability to support the elderly. Uncle Zhang, who is at the entrance of the village, didn't go to work when he was 50 years old and has been living by relying on his old capital. html When he was 455, his child found a job in a big city, so he asked the child to send 5,000 yuan a month to go home.
The salary of the child is only 9,500 yuan. If he sends 5,000 yuan to go home, then he will only have 4,500 yuan to live. Faced with the father's request, the child still agreed.
After two years, the child had not saved much money, so Uncle Zhang urged him to get married soon and even called him a lack of prospects. Others had saved money, but you could not save money, so you thought the child was not capable. It was these words that directly triggered the conflict between father and son.
Nowadays, the child no longer gives Uncle Zhang living expenses, and Uncle Zhang is also in trouble. It is difficult to judge who is right and who is wrong.
can only say that when a person reaches a certain age, he still needs to leave some room for his children and grandchildren. If the elderly ask too much, the family will no longer be harmonious and will only become a mess.
text/Shushan Youlu
