Recently, a new slogan " Wang Baochuan digs wild vegetables" has become popular.
Originally the legendary story of Wang Baochuan and Xue Pinggui was circulated as a symbol of loyal love.
The daughter of the Prime Minister’s House, Wang Baochuan, did not hesitate to cut off relations with his parents just to marry the poor boy Xue Pinggui.
Xue Pinggui left his hometown to fight. In order to wait for Xue Pinggui to return, Wang Baochuan stayed in the cold kiln for 18 years, and during this period he could only live by digging wild vegetables.
Xue Pinggui became the queen of Xiliang, found Wang Baochuan and gave her the honor and status of the queen, but Wang Baochuan died after only eighteen days of being the queen. There are actually many love legends like
. Most of them are the protagonists who ignore love and spend a good life, but only the other party is the other person.
But today's young people are no longer moved by such stories. They only feel that sacrificing themselves like Wang Baochuan, as long as the performance of love is a typical love brain , which is extremely undesirable.
Even "Wang Baochuan digs wild vegetables" has become a hot topic on the Internet. Everyone warns themselves by teasing this story to not fall into love, ignore everything, let themselves be wronged, and in the end they can't get anything.
Once upon a time, we would be moved to death for other people's love legends and stories.
Nowadays, more and more people no longer like such stories, and have begun to take a scrutiny of this view of love, and call this behavior that only cares about love and ignores nothing else "love brain".
Whether it is the people around you, celebrities on the Internet, or characters in film and television works, the pure love brain has become an unpopular person.
But love is still people’s highest ideal about emotions. In film and television dramas, we will still be moved by those pure and sincere feelings.
So, what is the difference between a normal love and a love brain?
How should we avoid the love brain if we want to enjoy the beauty of love?
1
The love brain that is unwilling to withdraw even if it is painful is not allowed to
What is the purpose of love?
Almost everyone's answers are similar: for happiness, for happiness, for yourself, for support, for support, for others to comfort when you are lost, and for others to accompany you when you are lonely.
But in fact, many people, especially women, do not move towards happiness and happiness in their actions when they are in love.
Just like Yang Li talk show joke: Many girls fall in love just to endure hardships, for excitement, they choose men just like an old lady choosing ribs in the pot: give me the worst one.
Typically, it is like Wang Baochuan, who has gone from being a daughter of the prime minister's family to a down-and-out woman who can only dig for wild vegetables, can't eat enough, and has suffered all her health. This is a typical love brain.
And some women suffer mentally, encounter cold violence, mental manipulation, belittlement, control... They have been crying for a long time and are in pain.
But it is also like Yang Li’s joke, no matter how painful it is, it is to ask your best friend to complain and vent. Before her best friend could react, she made up with the scumbag again.
Not to mention the difficulties of best friends, but as parties involved, they always suffer when they are in love. If they go on for a long time, their energy will be distracted, which will not only seriously affect their own career development, but also foreseeable damage to their bodies.
Modern science has confirmed that many diseases are closely related to emotions. Too much negative emotions accumulate, which is a destruction of both physical and mental to the person involved. This is no longer about falling in love, but about seeking abuse.
If you can maintain awareness, you can perceive your past thinking patterns from this painful relationship, change your beliefs, and change your habits, the painful relationship is actually an opportunity for us to grow.
But many people have no ability to reflect and never want to change their way of getting along with others. They just hope that the other party will change one day.
is not only reluctant to sink costs, but also has to hold on to toxic relationships and refuses to let go. This kind of love brain is really unbearable.
2
Love brain that ignores the overall situation and principles is not allowed to be
Love is just a part of life and a choice after all. Even if we watch TV series, if the male and female protagonists only fall in love from beginning to end, they will feel that the story is boring.
We often want to watch the protagonist do his career, complete his ideals, and realize his grand career.
But some people think that in order to fall in love and for the other party, you can do not have career, principles, ideals... and don’t want anything. Give up everything as long as he is. This is the touching love.
The terrible thing about this kind of love brain is that for love and for another person, we completely abandon ourselves and everything.
even don’t want the interests of the public, and ignore the overall situation. This is not a love brain, it’s simply brainless.
A person's charm is not only revealed when you are in love.
She is charming when she completes her work seriously;
She is happy when she lives in harmony with her friends and relatives;
She is full of charm when she strives for her ideals and goals...
Good love will make her closer to her goals and vision, rather than abandoning everything she originally had for love. The Oriental Qingcang and Little Orchid in the TV series " Canglan Jue " are called the ceiling of men and women. The reason is that they love each other to the core, but they never forget and give up their mission and responsibilities.
The male protagonist Dongfang Qingcang, as the king of a clan, shoulders the important task of revitalizing the race and protecting the people. He never forgets the deep revenge between his people and Shui Yuntian, and always wants to avenge and save his 100,000 troops.
The heroine Xiaolan is kind-hearted and full of love. She always wants the hero to let go of his hatred, turn swords into jade, and strive for a peaceful and stable life for the people of the two tribes.
Even if the male and female protagonists can sacrifice their lives for the other party, they never change their positions and insist on fulfilling their duties and missions.
They must protect each other and protect their loved home and people. Their affectionate, rational and sober love makes the audience move.
3
Wishful love brain is not allowed
A person silently protects and loves bitterly looks really sad, but more and more people realize that love that goes in both directions is the match made by heaven.
wishful thinking, only one-way love, silently giving for the other party, and even the other party doesn't know at all. This can't be regarded as love, but a kind of self-touching.
The party involved gains a sense of satisfaction in this kind of effort, rather than the satisfaction generated by establishing an emotional connection with the other party.
This love brain makes you immerse yourself in the hallucinations you weave deeper and deeper.
The love that goes to two directions is interactive and connected with the other party, and there is reward for your efforts.
We are not saints, we all look forward to our efforts and love, and we can respond and gain.
We give love and love flows back from the other person. Only when love flows like this can we nourish us and allow us to heal through love.
And some people seem to have established a romantic relationship, but in fact they are still just trying to maintain it.
You actively change yourself, take care of the other person, increase the sense of ritual in love, and often provide emotional value to the other person;
The other person is either indifferent, escaped, or indifferent, completely making you unable to feel the flow of love, which is also wishful love.
Because some people have poor abilities for love, such as avoidance personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc., it is not that you are not doing well enough.
It is because of their personality traits that make them unable to respond to the other person's love and unable to express love. It is like a stone. No matter how much fertilizer you pour into the stone, the stone will not bloom.
And you are still giving and waiting for the other person's heart to be warmed up by you. This kind of love brain will make you disappointed again and again, constantly hurt your feelings until you are completely desperate.
even makes you doubt yourself, thinking that you are not caring enough, gentle enough, or charming enough, so you cannot get the other person's love. What is the use of
Intimate relationship that makes people doubt themselves?
Love brain is not scary, it is normal to have a beautiful yearning for love.
What is terrible is the unprincipled and irrational love brain, which damages people's charm, reduces the happiness of life, and wastes life on ungodly things...
Although love is always blind, we can still keep a clear mind, stick to our principles on important issues, and make love truly the icing on the cake.
Author | Shushui Therapist, has the qualification certificate of psychological counselor of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the IHNMA International Hypnosis Teacher Certificate, committed to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature.
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