Controversy about marriage
Nowadays, whether on the Internet or in life, people have been arguing about marriage. The discussionists are mainly divided into three factions, one is the "provocation faction", one is the "opposition faction", and the other is the "Buddhist faction".
"Provocative Party" believes that marriage is essential. If you don’t get married, you will face this tragic situation of “living your old age alone”. The "Promoter" believes that if you can't find a very satisfactory partner, you can find a second-hand partner to complete the marriage.
"opposition" believes that if you don't get married, you can always maintain freedom, avoiding a lot of burdens and troubles. As long as a person can earn money to support himself and prepare money for retirement, he will be happy and comfortable living his life alone.
"Buddhist school" believes that if you can find a suitable partner, you can get married, and if you can't find one, you can live alone. Anyway, there is a way to live for being single, and there is a way to live for getting married.
Dialectically view marriage
Today I will discuss this topic with you. If there is anything missing from my point of view, please apologize. Why do
people get married? In other words, what are the benefits of marriage?
1. Marriage can make people have a sense of home in their hearts. You are busy outside all day every day. When it’s almost dark, do you always feel like you want to go home? If you only have yourself when you think about this family, will you feel lonely and sadness surge in your heart? If you think about seeing your lover and children when you go home, and when you go back, someone eats, watches TV, and talks together, will you suddenly feel psychological comfort? The latter's premise is marriage.
2. Marriage can reduce the risk of survival. Everyone should have a deep understanding of this through the epidemic in recent years. If you suddenly cut off your income, if you only have yourself, will you suddenly fall into a state of tension and be under great pressure. Because there is no source of income, it means that your money will be less and less until you run out of ammunition and food. And at this time, if you have a partner, you are economically a community, and his and yours are inseparable from each other. Then at this time you can find other sources of income with greater peace of mind, rather than finding a way out in anxiety and panic. In fact, the former is easier to find a good direction, while the latter sometimes becomes more wrong because of their eagerness and negligence in judgment.
3. Marriage can give people more hope in middle-aged and elderly people. Generally speaking, marriage will have children born. Many times, children bring people a kind of hope. When you feel that you are getting older and gradually unable to do so, you will find that your children are growing up and maturing day by day, and you seem to see the continuation of your life. At this time, your sense of uselessness and loss will be reduced a lot.
However, we have also seen that a considerable number of people have a very unpleasant marriage and even divorced. So what troubles does marriage bring?
1. There will be conflicts in places where there are people. After marriage, there will always be conflicts between husband and wife. When you quarrel with each other and refuse to give in, you will feel how comfortable it would be if you were alone now? If you have children and the children are not obedient, when you are angry about the children, you will also feel that single people are so chic. With the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the interference of your aunts, your family thinks that marriage life is simply a mess. Why did you choose to take the path of marriage when you were in trouble?
2. Marriage may cause economic tension and a decline in quality of life. Many friends said that when you are single, you never have to think about spending so much money. You can spend as much money as you earn. Anyway, your own money is your own, so you don’t have to worry about others. But after getting married, especially after having children, I can’t bear to give up this, because there are one or even more high-quality consumers who don’t make money - children.
3. Marriage makes people lose some of their freedom. When you were single, you would go home whenever you wanted. Even if you didn’t go home at night, no one could care about you.Chat with whoever you want, and chat as long as you want, as long as the other party is willing. It will be different after marriage, and you have to worry about your family. Even if your family doesn't care about you, after marriage, there will be more things at home and greater responsibilities, you will be busy all day and have no time to do those "pastics" things. It is normal for some people to not watch TV for a year after they have children.
Necessity of marriage
So is it necessary to get married? I think it is "necessary". It is also seen above
that the benefits of marriage are great. You must say, aren’t there any number of points in the bad marriage?
First, reducing the risk of survival is crucial to a person. A person who is single is like walking on one leg. If he maintains a little bit of balance, he will easily fall down. Once you get married, you have extra support. Even if you are not sure about your balance, you will not have to fall down because of one more support. Some people may say that my idea depends on other people’s ideas, and people should rely on themselves. I want to correct it. This is not a reliance mentality, but a sense of risk. When a person is young, he may not be able to understand and feel that he can handle everything. But can you absolutely guarantee that things like health are fine? Who can control the unemployment of some people like the epidemic? Sometimes we are very strong, but sometimes we are very fragile. You may always encounter a situation where you cannot control it. At this time, you need a support, which is given by marriage.
You may say that you have parents, brothers, sisters, and friends, but as you get older, you will find that your parents are getting older and fewer and fewer can help you. Brothers, sisters, and friends will become more and more cold with you as you get older. Maybe they are still busy taking care of their homes, or maybe they are less innocent as they grow older.
Second, let’s talk about the sense of belonging and hope. Although these two points of do not seem as fatal as survival, they are closely related to a person's mental health. When you have no sense of home, you who have been wandering for a long time will one day become tired, confused, and lose strength. When you have no hope, you may be surrounded by a strong sense of meaninglessness and then doubt the meaning of living. is all terrible. Although it cannot kill you, it can destroy all the power in a person's heart.
Third, let’s look at the contradictions in marriage again, because we lack wisdom and skills on the road to marriage and on the road to running marriage later. , these are thought to be solved. For example, you should first understand your needs before getting married, and then learn some skills to recognize people. After careful observation, find someone who is in line with your overall situation. As for those small aspects, such as if you like to eat sour things and they like to eat spicy things, even if these small things are left after marriage, the conflicts will not be too big to resolve.
As for things like children being disobedient, it is most relevant to education. You need to learn some educational knowledge from the beginning of your plan to have a child, prevent problems from happening during the growth process. Don’t throw your children completely to others to take care of. Even if others help you take care of them, you must add your own intervention. Otherwise, when you take over the child again, you may find that you are helpless. You can draw any blank paper when you want it, but it will be difficult for you to draw a piece of paper that has been drawn to the shape you want.
As for the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as long as you and your partner have the same overall view, you can unanimously choose to abandon external interference and live your own life behind closed doors. If your partner is shaken by the outside world and then conflicts with you, then this is your first mistake in selecting someone, and I will not repeat it again. If it is a mistake in choosing a person, then you will either run-in or end the marriage, reflect and summarize, and re-choose the right marriage. But this is not the fault of marriage, but the process of personal growth.
fourth, economic tension cannot be used as a reason to refuse marriage. There are ways to live poor, and there are ways to live rich.With children, it is normal to be financially stressed. Material desire is a bottomless pit. You have the desire to be as rich as you have. Therefore, it is not that the more you have, the more satisfied you will be. A person’s satisfaction depends on the contrast between what you have and desire, so you can also improve the satisfaction level by adjusting your desires.
No. 5. Although there is less freedom after marriage, there is no absolute freedom in this world. You lose part of your freedom because you take more responsibilities in your marriage, and the process of taking responsibility will create a sense of value, and excessive freedom will create a sense of emptiness. : I said this, do you think that less freedom is nothing?
Conclusion
There is too much negative information on the Internet now. Some people make negative remarks on the Internet due to the misfortune of marriage, which leads to young people who are afraid of marriage early at the age when they should have chosen a mate enthusiastically. Before they can experience marriage, they have already begun to be afraid of marriage. In fact, as long as you take every step seriously, you can also have a beautiful marriage and make your life happier.
