At the beginning, there was nothing to say with that man, but now we have nothing to say.
Today we will talk about this marriage crisis.
1, why don’t you speak?
Psychologist Mostan once proposed the theory that stimulation, values and roles play an important role in interpersonal communication. He believes that the intimate relationship led by himself is a beautiful love. If you are immersed in excitement and forget the importance of your values and roles, then your marriage will be at risk.
The beginning of love is affected by stimulation. I feel that love should be full of vitality, full of expectations for the future, and talking to my partner is like glue.
When love begins to enter the middle stage, we enter the period of emotional burnout. At this time, we bid farewell to the exciting and passionate life and began to gradually become dull. No change. If you do this, the relationship will gradually decline.
Stay away from passion, you communicate less and less with your partner, and get along like a friend. At this time, many people question their feelings or feelings about their partner. Complaint: "Why don't you treat me like you used to?"
Second, how do you deal with burnout?
1. Continuously expanding
Some psychologists have proposed the theory of self-expansion model, which mostly shows that while humans are exploring and discovering, they are also seeking a sense of identity. This theory is also reflected in love.
In marriage, our early stimulation comes mainly from our partners and our passion for new things. When you lose excitement in your marriage, you need to continue and expand on new things and redistribute your emotions into your passions.
Lily is a student and is a work elite before marriage. After getting married, I became a full-time housewife due to family reasons. She was busy doing housework all day. She lost her social circle and completely lost herself. The couple had almost no communication, just like "roommates".
At my suggestion, she decided to change to be yourself. Since childhood, she dreamed of becoming a photographer. She is very old now, but she has no age on the road to following her dreams.
She actively participates in training courses, communicates skills with photographers from different regions, and uses her weekends to participate in exhibitions, constantly accumulating photography experience.
After continuous efforts, she finally won the prize in the photography competition. She also invited her husband to testify during the awards ceremony. Her husband also saw the woman who showed confidence in her posture. I feel much better.
When trying to learn and explore new things, it is not just the result, but the process of inspiring your personality and better understanding yourself.
2. Mental separation
Faced with a burnout marriage, questions also emerged in my heart. Why did he fall in love with this man blindly, and why did he agree to marry him?
But after thinking about it, when I was in love, the other person looked like a real man, so at that time, I felt that marrying him was the right choice. There is such a wonderful subtle feeling between you. Love is a beautiful feeling. I can't say for sure, but I think this feeling is particularly beautiful.
But one day, as you understand this person more and more deeply, the mysterious halo on him gradually disappears, and your vague and wonderful feelings for him gradually fade away. The enthusiasm for him fades, he is no longer perfect, no longer mysterious. For you, you will have doubts and deep self-doubt.
is actually because the two of them have been together for a long time and are so used to it. To solve the problem, you need to psychologically separate yourself from the other person and establish a boundary between your partner. And yourself, and let each other feel mysterious again.
Breakup will not separate you two, but only treat each other mentally as strangers. At this time, observe the charm he showed in life and regain the excitement he had when he fell in love. like.
For example, I've been dating my wife for a long time, so I've seen all the bad habits in her life.Yes, if I am psychologically detached from myself and regard my wife as a friend in life, I will find that she works hard at work, takes good care of her family in life, and is also very filial to her parents. . There are so many benefits. In addition to bad habits in life, she is also very good in the eyes of others. So what are the slight bad habits she has?
We must always let go of small things in life, keep a distance, create beauty, and see the highlights of our partners. It can be seen that he is excellent in both life and work.
