Author: Su Ge (Fushu columnist)
The book "Nothing in Life Can't Let Go: Master Hongyi's Life Wisdom" mentions:
"The most powerful time for a person is not when he persists, but when he lets go. ”
One thought will make you feel helpless, but once you let it go, you will feel free. Sticking to one's own obsessions is tantamount to drawing a prison in your heart and trapping yourself as a prisoner.
Life is inherently hard and life is really difficult, so why bother putting more burdens on yourself and moving forward with "overload".
Don’t demand perfection, enjoy peace of mind
Canadian psychologist Paul Hewitt divides perfectionism into three types:
The first is the self-demanding , setting high standards for yourself and pursuing the ultimate;
The third The second type is the demanding type , setting high standards for others and not allowing others to make mistakes;
The third type is the demanding type, must always be perfect in order to meet the expectations of others.
's high goals, strict requirements, and striving for progress are worthy of praise. However, once you go too far and blindly demand perfection, and your inner strings are too tight, the effect will be excessive and counterproductive.
As Bai Yansong said: "The best way to ruin a person is to let him pursue perfection and reach the extreme. "
Some time ago, countless beauty-loving "Liu Genghong girls" went crazy for extreme weight loss. Fat exercise.
However, fitness and weight loss cannot be rushed. Especially people who have no exercise habits are prone to over-exercise and turn from "Liu Genghong Girl" to "Injured Girl".
A netizen claimed that he was hospitalized directly due to the intense exercise after dancing for five minutes; and there are many people who sprained their ankles and suffered from muscle soreness and were unable to go up and down the stairs normally.
Don’t insist on perfection, just do your best and within your ability.
"Complete is more important than perfect." From the early days of Zuckerberg's business, this slogan has been posted in Facebook's office as a code of conduct for all employees.
While studying at Harvard , Zuckerberg initially simply created a prototype of a social networking site. After being recognized by his classmates, Zuckerberg began to optimize and build the Facebook website.
At the 2017 graduation ceremony of Harvard University , Zuckerberg once again emphasized the concept that "completion is more important than perfection."
He said: "No one's idea is perfect from the beginning. It only becomes clear when you start doing it. You just need to start taking action."
It is true that let go of your obsession and lower your expectations; work hard because of it. , the fruit depends on fate.
Instead of seeking perfection in everything, it is better to strive without regrets.
Don’t dwell on the past, enjoy peace of mind
The pain of the past is always unforgettable, like a thorn in the heart. Every time I think of it, there will always be a sharp pain in my heart.
French literary giant Balzac said: "If you don't forget a lot, life can't go on."
Don't worry about the past things anymore; learn to let go of the harm in the past.
Mo Yan once told this story in his speech when he won the Nobel Prize for Literature:
When I was young, I often followed my mother to the fields to pick wheat ears.
Once, the people guarding the wheat field came, and the wheat pickers fled one after another. But my mother had small feet and could not run fast. She was caught and slapped hard, and blood burst out from the corner of her mouth.
Many years later, my mother and I were walking in the market, and suddenly we met the caretaker of the year. The man had gray hair.
I wanted to rush up to him to avenge him, but my mother grabbed me and said softly:
"Son, the person who hit me is not the same person as this old man."
He is still the same person, but things happened earlier. It's over. His mother's words and deeds taught Mo Yan tolerance and understanding.
Mr. Ji Xianlin said in "A Life of Freedom":
" If you are always entangled, the pain will be fresh and vivid all the time, and torture you violently and cruelly all the time. It is better to be indifferent, then indifferent, and then indifferent. "
In 2020, Doctor Tao Yong was violently stabbed, and his work and life took a turn for the worse. Countless people sighed and denounced the perpetrators.
But now Dr. Tao Yong said: "Slowly, I began to stop worrying about why this person wanted to chop me and why I had to suffer this fate."
"I don't have to distort myself because of his distortion. I choose to be objective. Yes."
On the title page of the published essay collection "Looking", Dr. Tao Yong handwritten two lines of words that made people cry: Medicine is faith, walking towards the light.
Life always has to move forward, you can't always look back.
Life is like a book, only by turning over the old page can a new chapter be written.
Don’t be obsessed with winning or losing, be open to enjoyment
The heroine of the movie " I'm Not Pan Jinlian " Li Xuelian is a typical person who insists on winning or losing, right or wrong, and gets entangled with bad people and bad things to the end.
The fake divorce turned into a real divorce, and the ex-husband even sarcastically said, "Why do I think you are Pan Jinlian?"
In order to prove that her ex-husband was lying and to clear her grievances, Li Xuelian spent countless time and energy filing lawsuits and filing complaints. In the end, he spent his most precious years.
Also in the movie "I'm Not Pan Jinlian", there is this clip:
The president of the court hosted a banquet for the old leader. During the dinner, a subordinate flattered him:
"The fiftieth anniversary of the marriage of the old leader and his aunt is not easy. ! Teach our juniors some experience!”
The old leader cleared his throat and said, “Experience is beyond the scope of my experience.”
The leader’s wife hurriedly answered: “No, just bear with me.” "Forbearance!"
Although there is an element of ridicule, if you savor it carefully, you will find that forbearing again and again is actually magnanimous. Sometimes forgiving the other party is also a way of fulfilling yourself; choosing to forgive is also a reconciliation with reality.
On the other hand, the heroine Li Xuelian in the movie is far less transparent than the old couple.
If she could let go of her resentment earlier and not be so concerned about winning and losing, she might have been able to live a comfortable life again.
Forgive others and be kind to others, only then can you meet a new self at the next intersection.
Mr. Yang Jiang said:
"We once longed for the waves of fate, but in the end we discovered that the most beautiful scenery in life is actually the calmness and calmness of the heart; we once looked forward to the recognition of the outside world, only to realize in the end, The world belongs to you and has nothing to do with others. "
Don't demand perfection, be a long-termist and enjoy peace of mind;
Don't dwell on the past, be an optimist and enjoy peace of mind;
Don't be obsessed with winning or losing, be a realist. , enjoy the broad mind. Like
, knows how to let go, learn to lighten the burden, wave to the past, move forward, and concentrate on more valuable things.
About the author: Su Ge, a columnist in Fushu, a person in Fuxiaoshu , a master's degree in communication, currently engaged in administrative work in the university, part-time contribution writing, good at "telling stories" and "writing comments" , continuing Persistence and love for writing, this article: Fu Xiaoshu, the best best friend around you, Fushu launches a new book "Good Life" in 2018
