"Who is the one who knows you best?"
"Myself." This short self-question and answer of
is the most correct nonsense. The most correct, because no one can refute: the person who knows himself best is himself. The many contradictions between us, family and friends, and colleagues and partners actually stem from one sentence: You don’t know what I really think. Of course, the other party is not some kind of bug in your stomach, how can you know what you really think? And saying this is a nonsense, because most people know it well: I don’t know myself.
When you say to your lover, "You give me the fuck, I never want to see you again"; when you say to your child "I do all this for your good"; when you say to your friend "It's okay, it's okay "I’m really okay." When the ghost knows what you really want to say.
So colleagues and friends alienated you because of contradictory and insincere you; parents and children because you are full of complaints and chattering against you, and you screamed to yourself in your heart when you dreamed back at midnight countless times: what is going on ? Why is my life so sad? Can anyone tell me? I'm responsible for telling you the most correct nonsense: only you can tell yourself!
["MMP, you’re damaging sai, it’s either nonsense or nonsense, can you say something useful?"
"Okay, I really have something useful, listen carefully!"]
-please be in front of you , Put an empty chair!
["I sit on a chair and put an empty chair on the opposite side? What are you doing? Do you want to blow the air?"
"It's half right, the posture is right, but it's not the air, but the imagination Dialogue with people."
"Who? With whom?"]
Dialogue with the people you want to talk to and vent.
- Talk to the person who left you without your permission.
He may be a predecessor who abandoned you, may be a friend who misunderstood you, may be a relative who left suddenly..., those who did not give you any opportunity to explain, clarify, and say goodbye. Leaving you so suddenly, the words that I wanted to say but didn't say are just held in my heart, and become internal injuries. Imagine him sitting on the empty chair opposite you now, come, tell him those words, and draw a complete end to your relationship.
- Talk to the person who has hurt you.
He may be your parents, since he was a child, he has "loved" you in a way he thought he was good to you, he may be your boss, he has been treating you in a rude way..., but you can't really go back to these people , Or it is no longer necessary, or it will bring new losses. But those swords, spears, swords and halberds thrown by you are so bloody in your hands that you can't throw them out. Imagine him sitting on the empty chair opposite you and want to explain? Want to complain? Want to scold it back? It's okay, come on.
- Talk to someone you trust very much.
Although he is the person you trust most, he still has some secrets that you can’t tell others. These secrets are too shocking and too dark. Anyway, you have been wrapping them in your heart, like hot charcoal. This taste is really uncomfortable. Then you now imagine that the person you trust the most is sitting opposite, tell these hot secrets, and relax your heart.
talks to the self who has been conflicting and fighting inside.
- Talk to that guilty self.
People who are not sages can do nothing. Having said that, when we do something wrong, especially when it brings more serious consequences, this fault has been torturing ourselves in our hearts. Then let the guilty and guilty self sit on the empty chair opposite, and let the sensible partner comfort him, tell him that this is nothing, and learn the lesson from scratch.
- Talk to yourself who is confused at the crossroads.
Life is full of confusion about choices, where to go and how to make decisions? Should I go to the new company or stay in my current position? Shouldn't you give up this tortured feeling that you don't want to live with? Choosing this means losing the other, many timesWhen we dare not bear the wrong result, avoiding it can only make ourselves more confused and more anxious. Then have a good chat with the confused and helpless self opposite, weigh the pros and cons, and bravely bear the consequences of a rational analysis.
Dialogue with that sensible, wise man.
- Talk to the generous and tolerant wise man.
He may be your idol, the historical figure in the book, in short, the person you have always admired. When you are incomprehensible and tolerant towards others, you give up your kindness to others because of selfish thoughts, and you are unable to communicate comfortably with others. You can let your idol sit across from you, based on what you know about him, look at his way of life, and imagine how he will guide you? What will I say to you?
- Talk to the long-sleeved, slick and slick man.
When you are afraid of socializing and getting along with others, you will confine yourself in a small space and cannot breathe. What are you afraid of? What if you go out? You can let your most admired socialist sit opposite, ask him about his confusion, and listen to his suggestions for you.
Many schools of psychology agree with one point of view: only you are the expert on your life’s problems. Others, including your parents, teachers, and even senior psychologists who have been with you for several years, can only understand you through your words. However, we all know that language is deceptive, and memories are also deceptive. We all express ourselves according to the values we hope to show, even if these views are contrary to our deep desires. Therefore, other people’s understanding of you is biased, and it is even more unrealistic to completely rely on others to save ourselves. We can only work hard to understand ourselves and peel away the disguise and the external expectations of society. Gradually find the most original self. And the "empty chair technique" from the famous Gestalt school of psychology is a good tool.
"Come on, put an empty chair in front of you, let's start."
