Some people often fall into this misunderstanding in love:
"As long as I treat him well enough and give for him without reservation, then he will not leave me and will always love me."
This mentality is correct, but this love pattern is wrong.
Any relationship has a principle: mutual.
What is mutual?
I treat you well because I love you and I am willing to treat you well; but this does not mean that I don’t want you to give for me.
Love, friendship, family affection, and connection maintenance are all mutual.
Only when we give together can the relationship last for a long time; if you only give alone, such a relationship is destined to be not long-term.
From a psychological perspective, why don’t you give everything if you love someone again?
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Over-paying will reduce your "stance"
How to practice "limbing dogs"? One of the reasons for
is: excessive effort.
What kind of effort is excessive effort?
For example:
Your efforts have exceeded the scope of love, and even completed his task on behalf of the other party.
provides emotional value and material value, try more interesting things together, this is the state of love.
But you have to put pressure on yourself and find unhappiness. Even the other party is responsible for the work and life, and he becomes a state of "sitting for it".
This is over-paying.
Overpaying in the pursuit stage:
At this stage, many people's efforts will be regarded as "dog-licking efforts".
obviously paid a lot, but in the end it got nothing and was treated as a "spare tire cultivation".
cares about your well-being, gives gifts, picking and dropping to and from get off work every day, and excessively invading the other person's life. The pursuit method of
seems reasonable, but in fact it will only cause trouble to the other party and bring pressure to the other party.
The more pressure you put on the other party, the more he wants to stay away from you.
Excessive efforts in the love stage:
State one: Your efforts make the other party feel "pressure"
For example:
You are very rich, but your partner's conditions are relatively poor.
Every time you give him a gift, he can't afford a month's salary; he can still accept it in a short time, but if this continues for a long time, he will not be able to accept your gift.
The more expensive it is, the gift that cannot be given back is easier to put pressure on the other party and make him feel a sense of "crime". The feeling of
is not love, but pressure.
State 2: If you pay more, your love will fade
You eat the same dish every day, and it will be tasteless after using it for a few days. The same is true for
Love.
The other party accepts your same gift every day. After a long time, he feels that there is no newness.
At that time, once your kindness to him changes a little, he will start to blame you.
When you take your efforts for granted, you will also be lost and sad at that time.
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How to manage feelings so that love can be in a balanced state?
If your relationship continues smoothly, you must keep the balance of love in a state of balance.
7 love each other and love yourself 3 points.
First: Don’t rely too much on the other person, but focus on yourself
Handling Brain One of the manifestations of is: put your life on the other person and ask the other person to pay for yourself.
For example: pester the other person every day, be with the other person, and disturb the other person for a small matter. If you don’t want to work, you have to pester the other person and not work with him. The state of
is "over-dependence".
If your focus of life is all used in love, then the rest of the aspects will inevitably be ignored by you.
people’s feelings are so much energy, you leave them all for love, and other places will be ignored.
Life is not just love, but also family, work, social, interests and hobbies.
Find a balance point and learn to pay attention to your life.
Second: "Independence in personality" can give you enough confidence
What is the greatest confidence for 3 people?
has sufficient material conditions and spiritual value, can please yourself and achieve personality independence.
For example:
never give up the ability to make money from work. Only if you have enough financial conditions can you not be bound by the other party;
must have your own social circle, so that even if the other party leaves you, you will not be too lonely;
constantly enrich yourself, read, study, and enrich your spirit.
The harder you work, the luckier you are; the harder you work, the braver you are, the harder you work, and the more confident you are.
You should have this awareness: "I can love you and have the ability to leave you at any time."
When you establish a sense of boundary of love, you will find that the relationship between you two is getting better and better.
Today’s topic:
Do you think that when you fall in love, you should “pay without reservation”?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
