This is the fifth time my friend Xiao Y has been in love.
This time the love cycle is only 5 days short. Break through historical records.
When I wanted to talk to Xiao Y more and think about how to comfort her, Xiao Y said there was nothing to say, and the other party was just a scumbag again.
...
There are many people in life like Xiao Y, as if the partner in love is always a scumbag and will break up soon.
so that love is obviously a beautiful thing, but it brings people a feeling of fatigue and pain.
Today we will talk about why this situation occurs and how to deal with it.
Some people always think of being wholeheartedly and even treating each other well without a bottom line. For example:
They obviously like to eat meat, but they always accompany their lover to eat the vegetarian food they like;
There is not much living expenses or wages, and they send red envelopes to their lovers, buy gifts, and spend time on their own;
Once the other person is angry, no matter who the problem is, he immediately apologizes and begs for forgiveness;
2
always makes excuses for the other party, "Ta is just too busy", "Ta is not intentional";
Even if they break up in the end, they will take all the mistakes, thinking that it is because of their own badness, which leads to such a result
...
These seemingly loving each other very much, often have low self-worth and low self-esteem, and hope to get recognition from others by please others to confirm their value. Intimate relationships like
are obviously unequal, and it is difficult to get rewards if you give. If you don’t get the response you want, you may not be the other party’s scumbag.
is too easy to get, and it is difficult to cherish. Whether it is feelings or anything else.
crack Tips
We must understand that The person in the world who should please is oneself , not others. Whether it is a relative, partner or friend, the only person who can accompany you from beginning to end may be yourself.
Only when we attach importance to our own ideas and needs can we encourage others to give the response they want . Therefore——
Asked a question:
Xiao Z likes light flavors, but has already been holding on to the love that is not spicy and unhappy. People have eaten Sichuan cuisine for more than half a month
Selection:
A. Continue to eat Sichuan cuisine with their lovers
B. Requirements must eat light
C today . Explain to your lover, and choose a few dishes with light flavors that you like
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Correct answer [C]
Answer description: Express your attitude with your lover and choose some of the dishes you like. This is a very normal need and a way to make your lover understand you better. Don’t feel embarrassed, please express your needs boldly!
We may find such a situation: children with violent tendencies in their original families also have violence in the families they form when they grow up; one of the parents is strong and the other is weak, and their family is also clearly distinguished from strength to weakness; if the parents have cheated, then there will also be cheating in their family.
It seems that all this is an inescapable "curse", endless repetition, until it suffocates.
Freud found that in our subconscious mind, we will long to return to the situation where we were initially hurt and gain the initiative to control what we could not control as children in order to avoid being hurt.
This is compulsive repeat —continuously repeating traumatic events or relationship patterns.
so we will always be attracted by a certain type of person without realizing it, and then repeats the past traumatic events or scenarios, trying to change the original result .
Cracked Tips
Many times we think we have met a very bad person, but in fact we have bad memories of some past experiences and are subconsciously alert to these, but invisibly shape our partner into the person who has hurt ourselves in the past.
For example, people who have had cheating may pay more attention to their partner's behavior, and may even peek at chat records or follow their lovers to see if they have an affair. Once the lover has some unusual actions, they will think that the other party has a problem. If this continues, the other party will inevitably be pushed away. Therefore -
Asked a question:
The partner has been working overtime late in the evening, which has caused him to come back late these days
Selection:
A. Believe in lovers and express concern to him
B. Call the lover company to see if he is actually working overtime
C. Follow the lover secretly. , see where is
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Working overtime is already very tiring. If you are questioned when you go home, you will inevitably be even more depressed and will also affect your relationship. If you get care when you go home, then you get comfort. You will feel that the other person understands you and your feelings will increase.
If a person is not only excellent, but has the shining points we envy, he can also be particularly good to us, gentle and considerate, even if he loses his temper, the other party just coaxes and never criticizes us, and he also tries his best to make us happy.
And this person is also good-looking, or even if he is not very good-looking, his dress will be very pleasing. In short, it makes people particularly pleasing to the eye.
I would like to ask who doesn’t like this kind of person, so it’s easy to get caught in it if you accidentally.
However, once the relationship between two people develops to a certain extent, such as when the relationship and material needs are met, the other party immediately turns against each other.
There is no doubt that this is really a scumbag.
Every scum is an excellent operation - you are well versed in the way to meet needs. They will dig deep into the requirements of the target they want to guide, and then carefully package themselves, shape different personalities, and take different countermeasures to meet the needs of each other.
So in our eyes, he looks like his perfect partner in this world.
crack Tips
There is no perfect person in the world. If a person can be unpicky, not lose his temper, not be petty, and be unconditionally good to himself, then he is either dreaming or the other party has some intentions.Therefore—
Asked a question:
Someone recently attacked you fiercely. In a short time, you feel that the other party is a person tailored for yourself, so you should
Selection: ml2
A. Ecstasy, thinking that he won the first prize and met his destined partner
B. Stay stable, and see if the other party is willing to give rare resources and self-exposed
C. Run away, this good thing cannot be my turn
html ml1-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ml1 Correct answer [B]
Answer description: If the other party can continue to contribute for you and is a scarce resource, such as people who have no money are willing to spend money for you, people who have no time are willing to spend time for you, and are willing to show themselves (share your inner feelings and information) to introduce your friends and family to you, then it is highly likely that they are sincere, and then congratulations! If not, it must be a scumbag.
Now, have you learned it to be useless? [Look]
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