I am Brother Hui, and I meet you in the emotional world every day. I have a story, do you have wine?
---text/huige talks about emotions
Original article, declined to reprint without my consent.
Introduction: With the development of society, people's behaviors are becoming more avant-garde, their thinking is more and more open, and they can accept many new things. For example, young men and women now go to the hotel together if they don’t know them well, and hold hands together if they don’t understand them well. They live as they please, regardless of future consequences.
But in the end, life will let them understand that all impulses will be punished, and all randomness will bring harm to their lives. Those who are unclean and self-conscious will surely make them cry and regret in the future.
Recently, the author interviewed a divorced young woman. She wants to use her story to tell everyone what the consequences of blind cohabitation before marriage will bring to future married life.
Self-reporter: Ms. Liu, 28 years old, employee of a state-owned enterprise
h147h35 h147h35 when I just entered university , Full of longing for college life.At that time, I yearned for freedom, and I also looked forward to meeting my favorite prince here like a princess in a fairy tale.
Senior Li Zhi, who was one grade higher than me, started chasing me two weeks after I entered the school. He first took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with me, and after he got my contact information, he greeted me with warmth and caring every day. Later, he took up a seat for me, served me meals, and sent him to my dormitory early, reflecting the good quality of a warm man.
Under his continuous attack, I did not resist for long before I fell completely and agreed to be his girlfriend.
Because this is my first love, so I am very attentive and ideological. I always hope that I can have a good relationship with Li Zhi in university, and then work hard with him after work, enter the marriage hall, and finally have a baby Raising a girl and spending a lifetime together.
Li Zhi told me that his father was in the local business and was a man of great power. My mother is a civil servant with a high level. She belongs to a high position in the local area. Let me stay with him and enjoy the prosperity and wealth together in the future.
Soon, Li Zhi rented a room outside and let me live with him. I didn't agree at first, thinking that the speed was too fast, because I was afraid that the impact would not be good, and the school did not encourage students to do so.
He has been tirelessly puffing me up and doing my ideological work until I agree.
---02---
Unexpectedly, after living with him, it was the beginning of a nightmare.
Li Zhi began to interfere in the details of my daily life, using "for my good" everywhere, stipulating what I should and should not do; when will I come back,What clothes do you usually wear, who you should associate with, etc. Once I didn't obey him, he flew into a rage, saying that I didn't care about him and didn't love him.
He will also monitor my whereabouts, check my mobile phone, social accounts and other information frequently. Once he felt that I was abnormal, or had a lot of conversations with male classmates, he yelled at me, said that I was misbehaving, belittled me with foul language, and called me worthless.
Li Zhi often instilled in me the idea of "women should be the same", and told me stories about those loyal women in ancient times, so that I can firmly love him, and don't let the slightest deviation.
As time goes by, I start to become more and more anxious , less and less confident in myself, can only use him as a life-saving straw, desperately grabbing.
When I began to rely on him, he asked me to ask my family for money, and he asked me to go out part-time and make money for him.
Then I discovered that Li Zhi was playing ambiguously with other female classmates, and even called it intimacy. I questioned him, and he said that he made me want to start, so that he was excellent, and I should be thankful.
During the three years I was with him, I lived every day like a year. I was depressed and could not calm down to study. In the end, I mixed up with a diploma.
---03---
After graduating from university, I quickly fled the sad city and returned to my hometown.
Li Zhi still wants to entangle him, but I have completely given up on him, so I blacked out all his contact information and prepared to start a new life.
I work in a state-owned enterprise and devote all my energy to work. I want to get rid of the psychological shadow caused by failed relationships and get myself to stand up again.
Two years later, I completely walked out of the shadow of broken love. People began to become optimistic and life became positive.
At this time, another boy, Zhang Ke, walked into my life.
I met Zhang Ke at a gathering of friends. He was sunny, handsome, and humorous, which left a deep impression on me.
During the party, he and I added friends to each other, and then we got acquainted with each other through chat. After getting to know, I learned that Zhang Ke is a civil servant who is particularly good in the unit. Although he is only two years older than me, he is already a deputy in a department and his future is boundless.
And he is still a very traditional person, he has been strictly restraining himself and he has never been in a relationship. And he believes that a good marriage should be the first love of each other, and only dedicate the body to each other on the day of the wedding, and then stay with each other until the old age.
Later we talked more and more speculatively, and we met out for dinner and outing together. He asked me if I had ever been in a relationship before. Because I was selfish and didn't want to miss a good person like him, I told him no.
---04---
Zhang Ke started to pursue me, and I agreed to be his girlfriend, but my heart was always flustered. Whenever I think of the years of living together with Li Zhi, my heart becomes anxious, for fear of being discovered by Zhang Ke.
After more than a year of love,Zhang Ke and I entered the marriage hall. At the wedding scene, Zhang Ke told me that he would treat me well, protect me, and not be bullied by others, which moved me to the rain.
At the wedding night of the bridal chamber, Zhang Ke flashed a puzzled look and asked if I deceived him. I had talked with my boyfriend before. I pretended to be calm and lied to him because I used to ride a bicycle. Zhang Ke was dubious.
Soon after, I found out that I was pregnant. Zhang Ke was very happy when he learned that he was a new father. He spent all his energy on taking care of me. He was considerate to me in every way and made me feel unprecedented happiness.
Nine months later, I gave birth to a big fat boy who was more than seven kilograms, which made Zhang Ke and his family happy. My mother-in-law ran to take care of my confinement and gave me good food every day to prevent me from working hard.
I wandered in happiness, and all the worries in my heart disappeared until Li Zhi appeared.
---05---
One day, I received a call from a stranger, and found that it was Li Zhi, which scared me and rushed to the bathroom. catch.
It turned out that Li Zhi found my contact information through his classmates and ran to the city where I live to find me, saying that he must meet me if he has something to do. I said I was married and asked him not to disturb me, but he said that if he didn't meet, he would come to my house to find me. Hearing this, I hung up the phone in a panic.
Walking out of the bathroom, I panicked. My husband saw me like this and asked me what was going on. I couldn't control my tears anymore and burst into tears.
I told my husband the experience of living with Li Zhi in college.And ask him for forgiveness. After hearing this, her face turned from red to blue, and she sat on the sofa without moving for a long time.
A few minutes later, he said, "Although I have traditional thinking, it is not that I cannot accept your love experience, but you have been hiding it from me. Even when I asked you, you were still cheating. I I can't accept your repeated deceptions, which makes me feel like a fool."
"Let's divorce!" The husband said categorically. No matter how I begged, he said no firmly.
One month later, Zhang Ke and I went through the divorce procedures.
Zhang Ke gave me some money, enough to get me through the storm. But I lost my excellent husband, lovely son and happy family, and I felt endless regrets in my heart.
I hate my weakness when I encountered the Zha man. I regret that I should have deceived my husband, but everything is irretrievable.
Conclusion: Being sober in love and sincere in marriage is the basic requirement for love and marriage between the sexes.
Listening to Ms. Liu's remarks, I feel that I don't know if I sympathize with her or dislike her, or both. Sympathy for her lies in the fact that she unfortunately met a Zha man, who through constant PUA, controlled her thoughts and behavior, deceived her body and money, and cheated others, and finally came to her shamelessly, causing the final breakdown of her marriage.
's dislike for her is that when she met a good man, she couldn't open her heart and confess her previous experience to him. Instead, in order to deceive him,Repeated deceptions against him eventually harmed others as well as self. Let a marriage that should have been happily ended in failure.
For men and women who are in love in reality, I hope to learn from Ms. Liu’s failure lessons. When starting a relationship, we must fully understand the other person’s character, whether the three views are correct, and whether the personality is in harmony. Decide whether to engage in feelings.
Before you know it, you blindly invest in your emotions, and you will eventually let yourself swallow the bitter fruit.
What do you think of Ms. Liu's experience? Welcome everyone to tell me in the comment area.
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About the author: Brother Hui, a middle-aged uncle who has been running, hopes to use his clumsy words to wake up those who are drowsy.
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