High sensitivity can greatly enrich our personality characteristics
Nothing is more outrageous than categorised high sensitivity as a pathological characteristic
.
—June
Some time ago, we did a topic about glass hearts and received a lot of messages. I also hope to share more related content with you.
I found that now sensitive, fragile, and glass heart are actually equal to each other, and even the word introversion is given a somewhat negative meaning. Do these features of really need to be changed? Are we becoming less and less tolerant and sensitive?
This book "High sensitivity is a kind of talent" is a very inclusive and warm book. It is written by a very experienced psychological counselor. is very suitable for sugar pills that want to accept sensitive but don’t know how to make them , or friends who think it’s too difficult.
Let’s learn from this book together. This time I have summarized three parts of the book that I think are very, very important.
directory
Part1 Am I a highly sensitive family? What's wrong with me
Part2 I'm more likely to get tired. It's easier to crash. It's easier to satisfy myself than to suppress myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It's more effective to treat myself. It is easier to blame yourself.
is different from others.
You can also find your own way of dealing with it
1 Am I a highly sensitive person? What's wrong with me
The first part of the book is to introduce sensitive people and some of its characteristics. What exactly is sensitivity? Just as gender can be divided into male and female, personality can also be divided into sensitive and restorative types. sensitive type is very sensitive to information, emotions, and perceptions in the environment, and accordingly, the reaction will be stronger. For example, you are very sensitive to weather changes and are more likely to be afraid of cold and heat; or you will feel depressed when it rains; you will be more stressed when you encounter problems.
The restoration is a bit like what we said: it is a big nerve. They didn't feel some changes at all, and they were more accustomed to the feeling of soldiers blocking water and soil, and some problems would not affect them.
I think these two categories are not completely black or white. does not mean that a person is either sensitive or restored. It may be more like a point in a number axis or a lineage.
There is also a sensitivity index test in the last appendix of this book. We can simply test it: among the following characteristics, if you think it is you, note the corresponding characteristics number.
1. It will be easier to perceive more information than others around you, , such as sound, taste, other people's sight, etc.;
2. It is easy to perceive other people's emotions and is easily affected by other people's emotions ;
3. Has a strong sense of responsibility . People around you will feel uncomfortable when they are unhappy, so they subconsciously want to help them improve;
4. Has a rich inner world , won't be bored when they are alone, but they enjoy it very much;
5. really wants to avoid conflicts . No matter what the reason for the anger of others, you will feel stressed or guilty;
The common high-sensitive characteristics above are, if you post more than 3 numbers, it may be a more sensitive dimension. The book
also emphasizes that the concept of is not to let everyone put a new label on themselves. determines that they are different from many people and hate themselves, which is not the function. It is used to understand ourselves and understand the differences, so that we can use our own talents to get along better after understanding each other.
The book focuses on these characteristics because they are more likely to cause some troubles in life. So, let’s take a look at the following section: What are the talents of high sensitivity, and if you don’t know how to solve the above problems, then what methods do you have to learn.
2 I am more likely to get tired. It is easier to get crashed.
The sensitive brain will capture more information more easily. , so it may be easier to get tired and overload work. At this time, you will become very tired and feel like you are on the verge of collapse. There is another reason. The author mentioned that highly sensitive people have a stronger sense of responsibility and are more likely to pursue perfect . Especially in terms of interpersonal relationships, they always want to be fully equipped with others. This can easily cause internal friction and may also be wronged and please others. Such social interactions will be very time-consuming and labor-intensive. Therefore, those particularly lively and crowded occasions will make sensitive people feel very uncomfortable.
If you communicate in-depth with fewer friends and familiar people, it may be a better choice for sensitive people. Because sensitive people like to explore their hearts, they are good at having deeper and more intimate conversations. If you know that you have such social characteristics, you should not need sensitive people to change yourself to adapt to more lively occasions and become the kind of person who can speak all kinds of words when you meet people.
The book advocates Strive to avoid weaknesses , because it is really difficult to change the brain, it is your original habit. Constant efforts to block some information are also a huge consumption. It is better not to ask yourself about the number of friends, but to play your expertise in to reject some things that you feel uncomfortable with, and to reject some things that you feel uncomfortable with without stress.
Then I feel very much like this part. I remember when the graduate student first went to a new school, a friend was very enthusiastic and invited me to various party parties. I was embarrassed at first and went there. I just met him, but in fact, in the face of the new environment, I was more concerned about class and homework. The pressure was already great. If I met many people at once, I would get to know many people because of the large amount of information. In the end, no one remembered it, and the name and face were not matched because there were too many people.
I can chat with this friend, but I can't speak. Instead, I feel that the relationship seems a little distant. Finally, I told her: I will be a little embarrassed when there are many strangers. I like it as before. Just chat with a few of our good friends, so I won't go to these parties, okay?
Then this friend is very good. She understands me very much and apologizes to me and says: I really didn’t understand what you want before, and then I didn’t take care of my feelings. Although the result is better, , I actually made the worst plan before : If she breaks up with friends and ignores me because I refuse her invitation, then this is a preparation I made.
Because if she doesn't understand my real needs and true personality, we can only become superficial friends in the end; if I tell her my true thoughts honestly and heart-to-heart, she can't understand them, then I will do my best.
If you have conflicts between your own needs and others' needs, you can also try to do some such communication. But remember before doing this communication, must have done what I just said, in the case of psychological construction and psychological preparation. You try again, and when you try, there will definitely be this kind of blame, just communicate frankly and sincerely.
3 I am particularly worried about conflict. It is easy to blame myself for
's emotional sensitivity, which will make sensitive people more susceptible to anger and conflict. Friends who are recovered from are those who are very nervous. They may only feel how angry they are just a second before they break out, and then they will just say it out and have a fight.
However, sensitive friends may feel that anger is slowly accumulating. Before can't stand the outbreak, they may have been sulking for a while and will endure it in order not to have conflicts. If you really can't stand it and have a quarrel, then sensitive friends generally don't feel that they are expressing their emotions. The matter is over, but they will feel even more uncomfortable. They start to feel guilty and blame themselves for being angry with themselves; or if they fail to gain the upper hand, they will think about it for a long time, so why didn't I say that at that time? Not only will I worry if I lose, but I will also worry if I hurt the other party when I win, how embarrassed I will meet in the future, and whether she will take revenge on me. So after really venting the anger, it will kill 800 enemies and lose one thousand of them.
The author said that many people may suggest sensitive people not to think too much. Emotions need to be expressed. Don’t care about quarrels. If you quarrel too much, you will get used to it. However, this method of handling is really not suitable for sensitive people, that is, impulses, conflicts and anger are not very friendly to sensitive brains, so there is no need to force yourself to get used to them. still solves the problem of playing to the strengths and avoiding weaknesses.
General anger conflicts are caused by: you have your own needs and are not met. Then you can analyze what needs you have not been met now? Then what is the other party’s needs? At this time, your talent with strong empathy will play a role. can find time you feel comfortable in your own way, and tell the other person your needs in a comfortable way, just like the experiences I just mentioned to you.
Just the previous video also talked about some ways to deal with anger. If you want to find more ideas, you can refer to that video for additional reference. The author of the book
reminds people who are highly sensitive to should pay special attention to their anger, which is really a great harm. Guilt is anger at one’s own behavior, and shame is disacceptance of one’s own personality. For example, if you are ashamed of your own sensitivity and dare not tell others what your needs are, then in this way, the real self of has never had the chance to be accepted, and then you don’t know whether it will be accepted, which will bring great pain.
Maybe you said that when you were a child, your parents did not accept it, and others did not accept it, but now you have come into contact with new people and enter a new life. How do you know if these people will accept it? Maybe there are many cute little ones that can be accepted.
I remember there was a video that was particularly interesting before. We talked about social fear or when it was during an issue. Then there were many super warm sugar pills in the barrage that everyone could empathize with would express their opinions. The subsequent barrage would express their comfort and support to the previous barrage, and then other barrages said, why haven’t I met such a person in my life?
has always been there and has always been people, but it is just that is afraid of the people we meet in the future as those who hurt themselves before, so we don’t dare to express it. But these people are really there all the time, and they may be lurking by your side, waiting for an opportunity, and then communicating with him and understanding each other.
So don’t be bitten by a snake for ten years and be afraid of the rope. Emotional pain we can cure , but you must know that these pains are brought by those people, And these unknown people, people who have not known yet, may be many cute little ones among them.
Finally, we return to the name of this book, hoping that highly sensitive people will discover the advantages brought by their talents. When utilizing it, this world needs you, don’t let it become numb and cold. It is precisely because of the existence of sensitive stars that this world is bound by warmth, art and love.
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