The scene of "two villains fighting" is a portrayal of many psychological problems - psychological contradictions. This is not like the two people who conflict in reality. They can be solved clearly by both literature and martial arts. Many of the psychological activities that occur in the inner are dominated by the subconscious, and their actions, behaviors, and reactions are subconscious. This model has taken shape when the independent consciousness develops at the age of 2-3. After decades of polishing, it has gradually upgraded to: cannot be aware of it, nor can it solve . Why is
, so "sleek"? In fact, it is for self-protection.
According to psychological research, 95% of human thoughts, behaviors and other activities are in automatic cruise mode, and only 5% are consciously involved. After all, we have to do too many things every day, and it is also to save more energy and automate more things. This is the intelligent solution optimized by the subconscious and the way to protect us. Just like walking, you don’t need to think about which leg to step, which arm to sway, or how to grab the ground. As long as you are ready to get up, everything is an automated process. However, after automation for a long time, bugs appear.
Need and want are a pair of contradictory objects, and suppression becomes the sharp blade for "resolving" conflicts. When we are two or three years old, we have normal needs and natural reactions, such as drinking water when we are thirsty and crying when we fall. When our children's expressions are not responded to by parents, our children will suppress these "normal, natural" phenomena to avoid punishment. When you grow up, you will continue to cycle through repeated repression in the face of scolding from your leaders or elders without knowing it. Automation is so unaware that it is like if you say something hurts others, and you don’t know it, it’s hard to solve. Until it accumulates to a certain extent, the pain appears, and cannot be restrained and eventually breaks out.
1. There is already conflict in digestion - Working with symptoms of compulsion and anxiety
Compulsion, fear, anxiety, etc. are contradictions that cannot be seen, and activated the adaptive reaction, just like a child taking the initiative to hug, the child projected the need for love, and the parents " empathized with " to the child's needs, and at the same time responded in a "hug" way. This is the recognition of the child. Through the interaction of projective identification, you can detect this pattern and respond to projection and identification. Catch the ends of the "spear" and "shield".
Mindality . Empathy and projective identity are triangular relationships, and mindfulness is the key axis for turning the situation around. Being able to make non-judgmental and accepting awareness of the moment, and having some understanding is the basis of empathy, and then projective identity is completed. These three must flow, not self-struggle. It is like water in the water pipe, even if it is exposed to the sun, it will not break or be hurt.
regards mindfulness as a way of existence that accompanies one's own life, and lives and works deeply, and treats one's body, thoughts, and life as a laboratory.
2. See the action - work gently on
to see the action, that is, to consciously subconscious . Potential conflicts are manifested, forced, anxious, fearful, and uncomfortable. Their appearance is all called by the inner psychology, rising to the level of consciousness, telling us: No, I can't stand it anymore, I have to change, this is sounding the alarm for us.
Change is change, but don’t compete with yourself. It's getting colder and getting up early is not easy. There are two villains in my heart who have a meeting: A said, I really don't want to move, so I lie down for another two minutes; B said, you forgot that you were blocked at the door and snatched money yesterday; A: Alas, but I really don't want to move, so sleepy... Don't find a way to support B and convince A. They are ideas, not you, and you just need to treat them with mindfulness, do the right thing at the right time, and persist gently.
There is no need to spend any extra effort to experience the anxiety, depression and inability to control the anxiety, depression and the slightest effort in a mindful manner. They naturally dissipate automatically in your continuous and gentle efforts. Everything is impermanent and changing.
Remember, you must work hard on yourself, in your body and mind.
