was chatting with a friend, a name came out of his mouth unintentionally. I was startled, and after thinking about it, I remembered that that was also my friend fifteen or sixteen years ago, but it was also around that time that we became indifferent and gradually stopped interacting with him.
I asked my friend how he is now. A friend of
said that he is over 40 years old and is very withdrawn. He is always extreme in what he says and does, and he criticizes everything. He questions everything, doesn't believe it, and makes excuses. No one cares about him.
I said, it seems that what I thought at that time was right.
At that time, we were both young and very good friends. However, after his relationship was not going well and we talked and broke up three times in a year or two, I chose to leave him. There is no other reason, just because after he began not to believe in love, he also began not to believe in feelings.
At that time, when we were drinking, the most common thing he said was, is there any true love in this world? Who else can you trust? What other feelings are real?
I have persuaded him many times and told him that as long as you believe, true feelings will definitely exist. And there is more than just love in this world.
Unfortunately, at that time, he had already questioned the feelings of his friends and felt that our comfort was perfunctory or even a joke. Such a mentality is also harmful to us.
Later, I met some people with the same mentality intermittently. The common denominator was that they thought they had been hurt to the extreme and no one could compare to them. Therefore, they also thought that no one could comfort or understand them, and they extended this mentality to life. of all.
If you are hurt when you fall in love, you will think that all love is false.
When marriages are hurt, they think that all marriages are pretending to be happy.
When friendship is hurt, I think that all friendships are pretending to be sincere.
All injuries to his parents, brothers, sisters, and colleagues will cause him to completely question his emotions.
When I get hurt once, I feel that I am the most unfortunate person in the world. I feel that I will be treated in this way, and then all the relationships in the world will be treated in this way. I feel that if there is something wrong with one aspect of the relationship, then all relationships will inevitably be affected. has a problem.
The result is that such a person will never see any good things. In his heart, he is the sober-minded person in the world, and he only sees the hypocrisy hidden behind the beauty. And he doesn't need proof. In his heart, his experience is the proof.
Later I learned that many people have such people around them, and the Internet has become a stage for such people. Any words you say, any thoughts you express, and any attitude you display, whether it is kindness and justice, warmth and rationality, or feelings about family and country, can be justified and disgusted by them using their so-called awakening after pain. In order to reflect their existence and value, that is the distinctive sobriety.
Until a doctor friend told me that this is actually a mental illness, which is the result of an extremely typical ego personality. In the heart of such a person, the emotion he is fully invested in is always the first and only one. Once something goes wrong, he cannot see other emotions. When love is hurt, he cannot see family and friendship, and vice versa. When all the emotions in his heart are like this, he will hold on to his injuries and be unwilling to get out of them. He thinks that he is the most injured and sober in the world, so he can be endlessly angry and extreme.
A doctor friend said that in fact such people are very pitiful.
poor? I don't think so.
When a person, an adult, has reached this point and is still unwilling to admit that there is a problem with his cognition or his life, and to seriously face the adjustment, even if the process is difficult, then I can only say, then It was his own choice. He chose to be the enemy of himself and life.
Is it difficult to admit that you have shortcomings?
Who can not be responsible for his own life?
