The reader wrote to me and said:
My wife and I were in love and married freely. She was the one I took the initiative to pursue. Whether during love or after marriage, I lived like a dog-licking dog, and I had no complaints about this. The reason why I am willing to show a humble attitude in front of my wife is because my wife is beautiful enough. I originally thought that as long as I am good enough to my wife, she could at least guarantee her loyalty to the marriage. In fact, my wife betrayed her marriage in the sixth year of our marriage. The key is that when my wife’s extramarital affair was exposed by me, my wife did not stop in time. Faced with my anger, my wife’s attitude was: I will go home when I am tired of playing, and I have never thought of divorceing you. Faced with my wife's attitude, I had to file for divorce from her. When my wife saw that I was serious, she reluctantly told her to break up in front of me.
The man my wife was dating extramarital is met by my wife during running: In the years since I met my wife, my wife has been persisting in two things: one is not having supper, and the other is running at least 5 kilometers a day. About half a year ago, my wife joined a local running club. After that, my wife became more excited about running. At first, I didn't think there was anything wrong with my wife's cell phone, she had more phone calls, and sometimes she looked unnatural when answering the phone, which made me more wary of my wife. About ten days ago, I peeked at my wife's phone and found that she had a close relationship with one of the running men, and I was completely angry.
Now, although my wife has returned to her family on the surface, she will still participate in the daily training plan of the running club, which means that she is very likely to continue to maintain a closer contact with the man. When I think of this, I feel particularly disgusting. During this period, I asked my wife to run alone in the future. Without thinking, my wife refused my request.
I love my wife, but I also have my bottom line. If my wife still has contact with that man now, I will definitely choose to divorce. But recently I looked at my wife’s mobile phone and her performance after returning home, there are no more suspicious signs. In this case, what should I do to make sure that my wife is no longer emotionally involved with the other party?
Muzili Emotional analysis: When I was in school, I was physically tested. I accidentally won the first place in the school for one thousand meters. It was also after that, my physical education teacher lobbied me to join the school sports team. At that time, I couldn’t have a passion for running at all. At best, I could have a good ranking every time I compete, which would make my vanity burst. Because at that time, my clothes were always sweatpants and running shoes, which led to a period of time after I went to college, when I encountered sports-related clothing and shoes, I would inexplicably resist. It was not until a few years after I started working that my figure began to gain weight (I gained more than 40 pounds), and I knew I should lose weight. Maybe I really like running during this period, so I insisted on running for many years. What I want to tell you is: when a person starts running because of managing his figure, running is really addictive.
has its best in every field. For those who like to run, they think that those who pace faster when running are the masters in their hearts. Especially when the other person looks outstanding, their admiration for the other person can even be described as obsession. Obviously, the reason why your wife is more concerned about a man in a running club is nothing more than two reasons: 1) the other person runs faster; 2) the other person looks outstanding. Consider this from the relationship itself: the other party must also have his own family, and your wife has you and children. In this case, the ambiguity is at best playing fire games. After all, at the beginning of the relationship, we all reached such a consensus: we can each take what we need, but we must not affect the stability of each other's family.
Obviously, in this relationship, your wife should invest more. To be precise, your wife likes the other person more, so that when you try to stop this relationship, your wife will reply to you shamelessly. When she is tired of playing, she will go home.The reason why your wife can say such things is not only because of her obsession with her lover, but also because of her greater confidence comes from your spoiling of your wife over the years. Of course, your wife ignores that you are also a flesh and blood body, and you also have your bottom line. When you see your wife getting more and more demands for divorce from your wife, you wake up your wife: the so-called eternal love in this world is not the one-sided flattery of one person, but requires both parties to work together to defend the integrity of the marriage.
Your wife never thought that divorced you was what she said in her heart. When you asked her for divorce, she naturally knew that she could not continue to play with fire outside of marriage. After all, at a critical moment, she could still realize which one is more important. As for whether your wife and lover have completely drawn a line, I'm not easy to say. At least she has restrained herself in her private life, which is certain: 1) She no longer keeps her phone away; 2) She no longer hides when answering the phone; 3) She doesn't see any eye-catching content when you suddenly look at her phone. Under the current situation, if you want to have a reassurance in this matter, there are two solutions: 1) You also join the small group where they run; 2) Let your wife stop running with that small group in the future, but you will run with her.
There are some feelings in life that are happy when you first see each other, but because love also requires that you come first and then come, some people who make you feel moved for a short time cannot really break into your own life. For these people, they shouldn't be too close at all. No matter whether the matter with the opposite sex outside of marriage is discovered by your lover, getting away from you after getting close is a torture process. If this relationship is discovered by your lover, it will inevitably cause trauma to the relationship between the couple. Since many people don’t have the idea of divorce at all, why do they have to add some elements related to extramarital affairs to their married life? Remember: a lot of things that happen cannot be forgotten completely, and at best it will become irrelevant in the baptism of time. But that dark history will be a stain that I will never wash away.
Although people should try to be generous in life, not people can truly ignore past grudges in the face of everything, especially the harm caused by extramarital affairs will not only be reflected in the betrayal of feelings, but also indicates that the trust between husband and wife will be disintegrated, which will make the loyal party of the marriage think randomly when he cannot see you. This manifestation is a serious lack of security. In the post-infidelity period, it takes a long process for couples to rebuild trust, rebuild a sense of security, and forget about your betrayal of marriage, which is a torment for the loyal party. Remind everyone: If you have no idea about divorce, when facing a better opposite sex outside of marriage, please use strong self-control to kill your passion.
Postscript:
In this life, we will experience many things and will meet many people inadvertently. During this period, we will know some of the best in a certain field. At this time, we can show our admiration, but we must never let ourselves sow the seeds of passion. Things we need to understand: a person's excellence in a certain field does not mean that the other person can become a legal lover in life, especially those feelings that know from the beginning that there will be no result. Don't touch them even if you touch them.
Sometimes, when we walk, we will inevitably encounter some people who make our eyes shine and pass by us. In fact, there are actually many people who make our eyes shine, or they are different types of handsome or beautiful. Do we need to ask for the other party’s contact information at this time? Especially after you have a family, you must kill your inner passion. We must be clear: without the idea of divorce, we must ensure loyalty to the marriage.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
