There is often such a type of people in life:
When you are criticized by others, you don’t feel angry at the first time, but think about whether you did something wrong?
When a lover proposes to break up, he does not pity himself, but reflects on whether he has taken care of the other person in a bad way recently.
When someone misunderstood, he will not defend himself, but will continue to apologize to the other party.
This is likely to be the manifestation of "Hyperplasia of Conscience" , "Hyperplasia of Conscience" is an obstacle brought by the strict superego on the personality level.
In fact, many things are not your own fault, but they will over-condemn and criticize yourself.
Today, the editor will take you to get to know it!
psychoanalytical school founder Freud believes that personality consists of the id (id), the self (ego) and the superego (superego).
I generally refer to the desire to do whatever you want and not be restricted, and follow the principle of happiness.
Self is the self facing reality. It is developed through acquired learning and contact with the environment. It is dominated by the self and is bound by the superego and follows the principles of reality.
Superego is composed of moral ideals and conscience. It is the judicial department that specializes in morality in the personality structure. It is the representative of all moral restrictions. It is the driving force for the noble actions of human life. It is gradually formed by accepting the influence of cultural traditions, values, and social ideals.
It follows the ideal principle, determines the standards of moral behavior through self-examples (i.e. conscience and self-ideals), and punishes behaviors that violate moral standards through conscience, making people feel guilty.
A mentally healthy person has a coordinated and unified id, self, and superego, and hypertrophy grasps the characteristics of the superego's strict moral constraints, repeatedly punishes and spurses the self on his conscience, and creates a constant sense of guilt.
Over time, this guilt will spread to individual life, work, interpersonal communication and other aspects.
In life, you always subconsciously care about other people's evaluations and feelings; you always play the role of "good guy" at work, and often pay for other people's mistakes; in love, you try your best to meet the needs of your partner but are always broken up repeatedly.
At this time, they will have confusion like "I am really not worthy of being loved? What is the premise for being loved?"
In fact, when the superego is too strict, the three are in an imbalance, and individuals are prone to falling into a state of depression and depression, self-denial and self-doubt.
We often appreciate the beautiful quality of "kindness", but we don't know that excessive kindness is self-harm inward.
When giving kindness to the outside world without reservation, what is left to yourself is full of grievances.
So how should we maintain moderate kindness and prevent "hematocritosis"?
Establish a reasonable cognition
Change the unreasonable cognitive methods, and slowly reduce the thinking "I should..." "I must..."
Tell yourself that the right to choose anything is in your own hands, and taking care of your own feelings is more important than caring about others' evaluations.
Follow your own feelings
When faces various situations in life, you should immediately realize your current feelings, what kind of feelings are you feeling, whether you are sad, sad or uncomfortable, and try to express them at the right time.
You must learn to release negative emotions. You can also practice more awareness of your own emotions in daily life to improve your sensitivity to pay attention to your feelings.
Improve self-worth
Some people have been in a state of "low self-esteem" since childhood.
habitually belittles one's own value and often regards the needs of others as the first priority. If you receive positive feedback from others in such kindness, you will gain a "sense of value" because of this, and on the contrary, you will feel extremely blamed.
Learn to set detailed goals and plans for yourself. For example, learning a musical instrument and mastering a small language are all ways to enhance your self-worth, and these are skills that can accompany you throughout your life.
May you maintain moderate kindness, love this world while being treated gentlely by the world!
