Writer Zhou Guoping once said:
"To make a marriage lasting, the general principle is to be intimate and distanced, open and restrained. The best state is that both parties do not restrict each other's freedom with a trustworthy heart, and at the same time do not abuse their own freedom with a cherished heart."
is indeed the case. Any intimate relationship should be kept at a certain distance before it can continue.
I once thought that the deeper the love, the easier it is for people to stick together. It was not until later that I realized that those times when they were always together were just a period of passion, because passion and enthusiasm have not yet dissipated and have a deep attraction to each other.
But when the understanding gradually deepens, the enthusiasm will gradually disappear. At this time, it is often boring to keep the sticky relationship still.
When getting along with the opposite sex, many women often try hard to get closer to each other in order to get more security, hoping to tell each other all their secrets, but in fact, this approach will only gradually become uncharming.
As Gao Naiyi said:
"Once love is satisfied, the charm of others will disappear."
In fact, women with a sense of distance between the opposite sex are more likely to make men addicted.
01: It is important to maintain a certain distance
Schopenhauer once proposed a hedgehog effect :
Hedgehogs will get close to each other to keep warm when it is cold, but will keep a certain distance to avoid mutual stabbing.
is the same in love. There are many differences between people. Even two people in love will have different opinions on the same thing. If you desire 100% understanding in everything, then the contradictions will definitely accumulate more and more.
says that distance can produce beauty.
If a woman had already been secretly in front of a man, those feelings at first would fade as the years of time spent together would fade until they completely disappeared.
On the contrary, when two people can keep a little distance, they can not only leave each other to be inclusive, but also leave each other to develop mystery.
People's hearts are always easily attracted by mystery, so don't take loyalty for granted.
So, if you want to grasp a relationship, you need to have the ability to attract the other person's attention, rather than begging others to love your humility.
02: Only women with a sense of distance can become the dominant part of their relationship
The popular TV series "Dream Hualu" some time ago, Gu Qianfan's feelings for Zhao Paner began with a sense of distance.
For a long time, Zhao Paner always maintained a distance from far and near. Gu Qianfan sometimes felt that she was just a woman who wanted to take care of her husband and children, and sometimes felt that she had a ruthless spirit of breaking through the shackles of fate.
Two emotions are intertwined, making Gu Qianfan's curiosity about finding Paner is always high.
In fact, this is the case with any emotional breeding process, because curiosity will have the interest to continue exploring. If the other party just happens to be stuck at the point of appreciation, curiosity will become like, and if the like can continue, the like will become deep love.
Therefore, only women with a proper sense of distance can become the dominant person of feelings.
After all, people desire freshness, especially in a life like boiled water. If it is boring for a long time, it will make people feel rebellious and escaping.
03: Women with a sense of distance are more likely to be respected by men
I once heard a friend complain about his marriage life: depression, too much depression.
My friend and his wife only got married after five years of love. At first, they were still sweet, but later, for some reason, the wife always became suspicious. Not only did she frequently check her phone, but she also often suspected that she was going out to have sex, and even went directly to the company several times.
In order to appease his wife, his friend has always chosen to compromise. Because his explanation is useless, he can only let his wife make trouble and clean up the mess afterwards.
But my wife also felt that her friend was perfunctory and felt that she was not respected. She was even more sarcastic in her daily life, and her friend felt that she was under great pressure.
A few years later, my friend couldn't stand it and got divorced after a big fight.
In fact, in any relationship, respect is mutual. A man chooses to respect a woman because women are also respecting themselves.
And the respect in love is nothing more than private space, various differences in private space, and various secrets in private space. If a man feels that his private space is respected, his attitude towards speaking and doing things will naturally be much more peaceful when he is with him.
Carnegie wrote in "Women's Pattern Determined the Ending":
"The best way to love someone is to manage yourself well and give the other party a high-quality lover."
If you manage yourself well, you must understand the importance of distance and keep the right measure when you get along with others.
I am Aya, the writer of warm emotions. How lucky I can meet you in this life! Click to follow and let’s learn together!
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