Zhuang Die Xiaomeng/See the essence through the story
An original emotional number worthy of your attention
Illustration/From the Internet
See a question on Zhihu: "Advanced left-handed men have reached a certain age. Should they choose a second-marriage girl or an older left-handed woman?"
Among the hundreds of answers, I found that 99% of the answers are similar: if you can choose unmarried, it is best not to choose a second-marriage girl with children.
There are many people who have experienced it with their own personal experience to advise later generations. If they are absolutely necessary, they must not marry women who have children in the second marriage, because the difference between marrying an unmarried daughter and a second marriage daughter is really big.
public opinion is very different
People are social animals. Everyone lives in the human world and has to deal with people every day, so they will inevitably face social public opinion.
Although people should not care about other people's opinions when they are alive, there are only a handful of people who can really do this. After all, it is not a good feeling to be said to others.
. It is reasonable for an unmarried man to marry an unmarried woman
Older young men and older young women are both unmarried at the same age. In the eyes of relatives and friends, you are a couple made of heaven.
Although we got married a little later, it will not attract everyone's gossip. If we have all received higher education, we will think everything is reasonable.
In this way, you can exchange for a peaceful life and block the mouths of those who used to say that you were an old bachelor behind your back.
Your life has a settlement, and your parents don’t have to continue to worry, and they can live a good life in terms of face.
2. The reputation of an unmarried man marrying a second-married woman is not good
Although it is now the 21st century, people still have certain views on second-married women, which is an indisputable reality.
A second-marriage man married a second-marriage woman. Everyone will not say much, and they will even bless them. But if an unmarriage man married a second-marriage woman, everyone will talk behind their backs.
In the minds of most people, the reason why an unmarried man marrys a second-married woman is simply because he cannot marry a wife when he is old, so he settles for the second best.
Therefore, once an unmarried man marrys a second-married woman, he will be labeled as depreciating in the minds of relatives and friends.
The quality of marriage is very different
There is still a big difference between being married and not having married, and the difference between the original couple and the half-way couple is also very big.
Although some original couples have not lived to the end, in terms of probability, the original couples who have passed to the end must be happier than halfway couples.
The old man said very well: "Even if the original couple quarrels every day, they will try to do things in the same place when they encounter something; even if the second couple respect each other every day, they will have their own little thoughts when they encounter something."
This is the biggest difference between the original couple and the half-way couple.
No one got married for divorce. From the beginning, the original couple must have gone to live together.
Especially older young men and women, with mature minds, they finally found the person who spent the rest of their lives together. Naturally, they cannot divorce casually, otherwise they will only make people laugh.
Once the marriage is broken, relatives and friends will gossip behind their backs, talking about them getting married at the age of time, and finally going to divorce, believing that they must have problems.
Due to public opinion, they will cherish their marriage and dare not do anything randomly.
Halfway couples are different. They have divorced once and don’t care about it again. What's more, with the first failure experience, it will be difficult for her to live with all her heart. She will always be ready to leave a way out for herself everywhere.
This is probably the sequelae of being bitten by a snake once and being afraid of the rope for 10 years.
There is a big difference between having children and not having children
A woman who has given birth before and a woman who has never given birth to children is very different. This difference will directly affect the couple's relationship and family relationship.
. The child involves his ex-husband
It is undeniable that women love their own children the most, and then others.
As we all know, children are the weaknesses of women in their lives.
With a common child, it is difficult for men and women to truly separate them.
Whether it is to look at the children or educate them, it is difficult for parents to have nothing to do.
What's more, children want to stay with their biological parents after all. With children in the middle, they will find it difficult to guarantee that they will not get back together.
Many unmarried men and women have suffered similar hardships. They are with people who are second-married and have children, but in the end they are scarred because of other people's ex-husband and ex-wife.
From this we can see that this is a muddy water in itself.
2. Children are always the source of contradictions
Just imagine, are there any parents-in-law in the world who treat their daughter-in-law as their biological daughter? Are there any father-in-law and mother-in-law who treats his son-in-law as his biological son?
If everyone answers "yes" confidently, then ask you another question: "If you have a conflict of interest with their biological children, which side do you think they will stand on?"
After answering this question, will you still be so confident?
People are selfish, and people have a natural maintenance mentality for their own bloodlines, which cannot be compared with any other relationship.
No one can truly treat his stepson and stepdaughter like his biological children. Once he encounters disputes about interests, his true colors will be revealed.
So in the matters related to the child, the two must have conflicts.
is written at the end:
Older leftover woman or second-married woman? The problem is ultimately an unmarried woman or a second-married woman?
I advise all men to try not to choose a second-married daughter if they can marry an unmarried daughter, because this road is far more difficult than everyone imagines.
Gender swap, and the result is the same.
Marriage is realistic, not romance, not love and passion. When everyone does this, they should think of the corresponding consequences.
Zhuang Die Xiaomeng/Emotional Column Original creator
May your life be full of surprises and may your happiness come as scheduled.
