Hello everyone, I am Sister Tanbosa. Welcome to my story space and tell you the stories of ordinary people every day.
Introduction
Every elderly person will feel very lonely when they are old. If they can meet a wife, they are very destined to be together. Some elderly people want to seize this fate, so they become interested in remarrying.
However, when some elderly people put this idea into contact with their children, they were opposed by their children.
The reason why children oppose it sometimes sounds particularly hurtful.
says "raising children to prevent old age". If the elderly want to remarry, should their children agree to the elderly?
If the children are not satisfied, then the elderly will have no happiness in their elderly care life. How should
deal with such contradictions at this time?
Uncle Zhao encountered the embarrassment of wanting to remarry but being opposed by his children.
What's going on?
What should he do?
Let's take a look.
Self-reporter: 70-year-old Mr. Zhao
My name is Zhao Guangming, I am 70 years old this year.
My wife passed away a few years ago. My children wanted to pick me up and live with me, but I didn’t want to go there and felt it was inconvenient to live with them.
But I gradually felt uncomfortable with it by myself.
One day I met a woman in the park. She was only in her fifties, with a very cheerful personality, and liked to sing and dance. I felt the vitality from her.
I think if I could be with someone like her, my life would definitely be very successful.
My life is like a pool of stagnant water, without any vitality.
I fall asleep watching TV at home every day.
If I could find a wife like her, I would definitely be very happy in my old age.
So I greeted her and took the initiative to chat with her. She was very good at me, so we chatted a lot.
Since then, I have been to the park every day and can see her. After a while, I have become more and more familiar with her.
I also told her about my children's situation and learned about her situation.
My son has an average income and works in a state-owned enterprise. He is less than the best than the best and lives a good life.
My daughter married a very rich man. Her family runs a factory and has relatively good financial conditions.
I was laid off in the early years and later I kept working odd jobs and had no retirement salary.
My living expenses are shared by my son and daughter, but sometimes my daughter will quietly stuff me some more money.
This woman in her fifties said she divorced when she was young and lived alone with her son. For the sake of her son's growth, she never remarried. Now that her son has started a family and started a business, her son lets her do nothing, let her come out to play more and enjoy the happiness.
She also does not have a retirement salary, and her son gives her monthly living expenses.
I think we are both equal and poor. Our financial conditions are similar. No one will guard against each other and will look down on each other. So we discussed getting married and living.
However, when I talked to my children about my thoughts, they strongly opposed it.
I was very anxious when I heard this, and I said, "Why don't you agree? I'm not a rich man, it would be nice if someone could fall in love with me."
However, my children gave four reasons, but they made me hesitate.
First, although you don’t have money, but if you have a house, she just likes your house.
The son said, "You are 70 years old now. After getting married, she will try every means to ask you to give her the house, or write a will to leave the house to her. Then you are too old and confused, what should I do?"
I felt very sad when I heard my son's words.
Since I have married my wife, can’t I leave the house to her?
The son has his own house and his daughter has married to a very rich family. Why do they still have to worry about my house?
If I marry this woman, can she bring me happiness and make me live a decent life. Can't I leave the house to her?
But the children said, "This house belongs to you and my mother, half of it. Even if half of it belongs to you, you have to leave most of it to us. We are your children. We take care of you, you can't leave the house to outsiders, right?"
In short, their biggest concern is this house.
They said, "If you want to remarry, you can sell the house first. We will give you money. You can rent a house with her."
I was very upset when I heard it. I am so old. Did I let me rent a house when I get old?
Second, although you don’t have money, but your daughter is rich, she will try every means to ask for money from you
The daughter said, "Do you think she will be willing to go with you, a poor old man? She asked if your daughter is rich, right? Let me tell you, if you marry her, I won’t give you a penny of living expenses in the future. Or just calculate it according to the minimum living security level. I can only give you enough money for meals in a month, and I won’t give you any other penny."
I felt even more heartbroken when I heard it.
Is this still my daughter who I have been spoiled since I was a child?
If she doesn’t give me living expenses, then what kind of decency can I say?
Even if I am an elderly person, my expenses cannot be said to be as simple as eating, right?
I also want to travel with other elderly people, and I also want to buy all kinds of good sportswear, shoes, etc.
I also want to dress myself up in a fashionable way and look younger.
But all these have to be spent. What should I do if my daughter doesn’t give me the money?
Third, she is only in her 50s now, and is much younger than you
She is so young and can find someone with better conditions, why should I find you?
What is she trying to do?
is just a way to be honest and obedient?
She is happy to you now and will dislike you for being old in a few years.
If she leaves, you will be hit hard.
Those relatives and friends will also laugh at you at that time.
It is not as comfortable as a person.
Fourth, if you break up, she will break up with you for a fee
When I saw my children objecting so much, I said, "Then we won't get the marriage certificate , okay? Let's live together and live together, the house is mine, and there will be no trouble in the future."
But the children still said, "That's not OK! Do you think you don't have a tie? Will everything be fine if you have a marriage certificate? "
I said, "What's wrong? Isn't it okay to not get a marriage certificate?"
They said, "We have inquired about this situation. If you don't get a marriage certificate, what conflicts will happen in the future? If you want her to leave, she will not leave. You have to give her a breakup fee, so she will leave. Do you have money to give it to her then? Don't you have to ask us for it?"
I was even more angry when I heard it.
I feel that in order not to let me remarry, my children think about bad things. Can't
think about it?
I really regret not making money when I was young, but now it is so difficult to find a partner to live a life.
There is no money, so you have to look at your children’s expressions when you find a wife.
Conclusion
After reading Mr. Zhao’s story, I think he is indeed quite passive in remarriage.
Because he has no money, his life depends on subsidies from his children.
If he remarries, he will have to spend more on one person, and his children are willing to spend money on him, and it is not willing to spend money on an outsider.
Many children are really unwilling to remarry their fathers. They will feel that this is unfair to their mothers and there will be many troubles in the future.
Generally speaking, I hope my father will find a wife to live with him instead of getting a certificate.
However, this Uncle Zhao himself has no money and has to rely on his children, so of course his children are unwilling to do so.
If an elderly person wants to get married, he must also consider whether he has the material conditions and cannot just rely on his children.
