Many people hate gatherings and visiting each other, and they don’t even attend wedding banquets.
There are also people who are keen on gatherings and visiting each other and are born to join in the fun.
Whether to be alone or in a group is to respect your heart, rather than force yourself to become something.
In fact, people cannot completely leave the group, this is nature. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many people in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, and people wouldn’t run into the city.
As Liang Shiqiu said in : Liang Shiqiu : "Only gods and beasts like loneliness, people want friends."
Today, I will talk to you about how to visit and gather correctly, and the key is how to speak.
suggests that you have found a few details, and even if you know it, you should pretend not to know it. The ability to observe words and expressions is to keep your mouth shut as if it is a bottle.
The ancients said: "Take attack as defense." You must understand that keeping your mouth as a bottle is not just not saying a word, but taking the initiative to find beautiful topics, bypass the pain points of life, and understand the word "pretending".
01
The family is not harmonious, don’t comment.
A few people gather together, and it is inevitable that they will talk about their families.
No matter how good the family looks, there are conflicts inside, especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which cannot be clearly tied up.
Relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues who often come and go can hear about their family affairs. When you chat with your own family, you can comment on others, but outside, don’t comment on anyone.
When you visit your family, your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are at home at the same time, who should you say good things? If you say that mother-in-law is good, it means belittled by the daughter-in-law. If you like it, the mother-in-law will be unhappy.
The son and his parents have conflicts, and no one you say is right.
When the other party takes the initiative to talk about family conflicts, you should listen and not comment. If the other party says a lot, you should take the initiative to switch topics and not make everyone unhappy.
02
The meal is not good, don’t be picky.
Someone invites you to seafood, some people invites you to box lunches, and some people invites you to participate in a family dinner... The taste of the meal is different and the grades are different.
The value of social interaction is not measured by money, but by emotion. For poor families, treating you as a distinguished guest.
In addition, everyone's skills are different, and every family cannot be forced to have a chef.
Pick up the wine glass and eat a few bites of the meal. You may feel uncomfortable because the taste is not good, but don’t say it out. Especially among different ethnic groups, everyone has different habits and different requirements for food. If you say "difficult" when you speak, the owner will be in a difficult situation.
For example, some people are used to eating vegetables radish and do not eat pork. You have to follow the customs of the countryside. Anyway, it’s not like this every day, just treat it as “tasting new things”.
03
people have defects and are considered normal.
My classmate Xiao Jin gave birth to two children. My son had an intellectual problem and blinked very frequently. He saw strangers without any fear. He even walked closer and said nonsense.
Every time a guest comes from home, Xiao Jin tries to keep his son quiet. But it backfired.
A person who is familiar with Xiao Jin never says how bad his son is after entering the door. It’s just that my son is talking nonsense, and everyone takes it to heart and try to communicate with him.
It is very painful for any family to have disabled children at home. If you make a comment casually, it will undoubtedly hit the pain.
Of course, there are also some adults who are physically disabled.
If the other party does not take the initiative to talk about his physical condition, do not ask "why". Being able to speak actively means that he has been relieved and cannot speak actively means that he still cares a lot and is very fragile inside.
Treat the other person as a normal person, and communication will be pleasant and we can respect each other. Especially those with broken faces, if you look at him with a smile, you will show that you are very polite and generous, and give the other person more confidence.
04
, please like it.
If you live in the city, visit your relatives and friends in rural areas, or have dinner in rural areas, you will find that the overall living conditions in rural areas are worse than those in urban areas. Especially some elderly people who do not have pensions have to work all their lives and have to save money.
However, relatives and friends in rural areas are very enthusiastic and follow the old rules.
You give them a gift, they have to return a gift to you. In my hometown, if you don’t return the gift, you will think it’s “empty hands” and is unlucky.
When you receive the return gift, be sure to say that you like it very much.
A cabbage, two radishes, a large piece of konjac , a few chestnuts... not worth a lot of money, but in the eyes of the other party, this is the most obvious thing.
When you say "these things are everywhere on the street", it will hurt the other person's heart. In the future, when we get together again, it will make the other party embarrassed.
Whether it is a gift to return or give gifts, they are all heart-to-heart, just accept it happily. Even if you don’t need gifts, you can give them what you really need and make the best use of them.
05
Life stains, take the initiative to forget.
People are not sages, so who can do nothing without mistakes?
The relatives and friends you make may not be smooth sailing people. There are always some people who have taken wrong paths.
One of my cousins has liked to be sneaky since childhood, which makes their relatives hate it. When he grew up, he went to his uncle's house to pay New Year's greetings. Aunt San immediately reminded his children: "This cousin, I like to steal things..."
Because of Aunt San's words, the relationship between the two families was broken.
In fact, when my cousin grew up, he went to college and did a good job.
For those who are making mistakes, you should point it out. You should be tolerant of people who have stains in the past; you should not take people who have minor mistakes too seriously.
Forget the bad things of others, remember the good things of others, and you will be very happy.
06
Create a sculpture, not to pile up a pile of soil, but to remove the excess from the stone.
Socialization is to carve connections and show true feelings in the subtleties. You can throw away some heart-wrenching words, abandon some ugly faces, and let go of the utilitarian mind of being a human being.
When you go to parties and visit with a pure attitude, you will find that you have created a different kind of selves and are very popular.
Lin Yutang said: "Life is harsh, and a passionate mind is not enough to cope with the environment. Passion must be connected with wisdom and courage to avoid the destruction of the environment."
No matter who you are dating with or on what occasion, enthusiasm must be wisdom and keep awake in confusion.
Author: Common people eat coarse food.
Follow my text and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
