During the consultation, a young lady asked a question: How can I love myself?
Yes, whether it is psychological counseling or spiritual chicken soup, you often see a saying: You must love yourself well. As long as you love yourself first, you can love others; only by loving yourself enough can you live a good life; you must be kind to yourself, because the only person who loves you the most may be yourself.
But, what exactly can I really love myself? Big Fish and everyone to sort it out.
Generally speaking, if you love yourself, you must first accept your shortcomings.
There is a psychological term here: acceptance.
accepts yourself. Although it doesn't sound complicated, it is still not that easy to do.
First of all, a person who falls into depression or anxiety must be a person who is not very dissatisfied with himself, thinks that he has many shortcomings, and often falls into self-denial.
A girl may feel shorter than others, blacker than others, feel that her nose is not straight enough, and feels that her hairline is better than others...
A boy may feel that she is not handsome enough, has no willpower to control the time she plays games, hates that she dare not speak in public, is afraid when facing other people's eyes, and feels that she has achieved nothing at all...
Yes, everyone has advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes, advantages and disadvantages are two sides of a coin. For example, a person is timid, which seems to be a disadvantage, but the prudence and planning in advance and not recklessness brought about by this will be a good advantage.
However, if he cannot accept his timidity and keeps looking for his shortcomings with a magnifying glass, then we can say: his sense of self-worth is relatively low, and he cannot live in peace with his shortcomings, which means he does not love himself enough.
Secondly, the second connotation of loving yourself is to respect your needs.
In life, we can see that many people do not pay much attention to their needs. For example, a girl obviously wants to buy a skirt, but in order to save money for her parents, she says that I don’t like that dress and don’t want it.
You can imagine that she didn't buy it at that time. She felt relaxed because she saved some money for her family, but when she returned home, her desire for that skirt would continue to torture her. In this scenario, she did not pay attention to it and did not meet her needs.
Same thing, for example, if the leader asks to work overtime, you are actually very reluctant to work overtime, but because you are afraid of being accused by your leader and colleagues of not working hard or being motivated, you take the initiative to stay and work overtime. However, the negative emotions in your heart will continue to accumulate because you suppress the idea that you don’t want to work overtime.
In fact, it is impossible to fully meet your needs and ideas. If you really do it, you will be regarded as selfish or self-doing by turnover people.
However, if a person is afraid to express himself at work, at home, in close relationships, or rarely expresses his wishes, is very afraid of facing conflicts and conflicts, always puts other people's moods above himself, and feels that other people's happiness is more important than his own.
So, this is the legendary "pleasant personality", and it is also a major manifestation of not loving yourself enough.
There are actually many manifestations about not loving yourself. What else do you know?
and truly respect your own ideas and needs, and fully express your will within a reasonable range, is to truly love yourself.
