Just last week, Venus and Pluto showed a fierce quarter-point phase.
This is a celestial phenomenon closely related to intimacy. Under its influence, let us deepen this topic.
Love is so beautiful, but why is it accompanied by pain?
Is our relationship interaction real?
What is the meaning of love and pain?
Venus, this planet that concerns love and intimacy , also represents our profound metaphor for life - value.
Hun Ning, a lecturer at the London Astrology Academy, said: "Emotional relationships are often often used to map our own value in . This value is not the materialized value of money, but a value born into human beings and a natural value that perpetuates life."
Through the eyes of a lover, we seem to meet a more authentic and charming self. This is a deep trial of love. The deeper the love, the deeper we explore the abyss, but the closer we are to the brightness of our nature deep in our hearts.
Next, let us follow Teacher Xu Ning to experience this thrilling love dojo.
If a relationship is at the beginning and is not built on the basis of independent individuals, then there will be many unconscious projections between each other.
This is like the symbol of a mirror symbolized by Venus, with an unreal mirror projection symbol. At first, the relationship between the two seemed to be coated with a golden film, which is a kind of beauty symbolized by Venus. But that layer of gold is probably just a superficial beauty.
We may fantasize that the other party is our dream lover, and we enter a relationship like a moth to the fire. For example, we may unconsciously regard ourselves as a "child" who needs to be taken care of unconditionally, and regard the other person as the "perfect father" and "perfect mother" in our hearts, project the unmet baby needs of our children onto the other person, and ask for satisfaction from the other person.
Once we turn on "role play" like this, we no longer regard our partners as flesh-and-blood individuals who should be treated equally and respected by each other. The relationship between is likely to be the not-real enough .
In this way, we may place our self-idealized requirements and willingness on the other party, and even want to impose it on the other party and control the other party to change. At this time, what we see is not the real and objective appearance of our partner, but the image that is "transformed" by us.
However, this gold-plated ideal projection will inevitably lead to disillusionment and breaking in the tempering of reality due to the further life of both parties, and the real will be "eliminated and preserved."
The relationship between Venus and Libra symbols is not polished by the "real personality" symbolized by Mars and Aries , it is actually easy to stay in a relatively shallow and easy to beautify. The relationship at this stage is not mature and incomplete enough.
The process of "from idealization to brokenness" will not only appear in close partners, but also in our other relatives and interpersonal relationships.
is like the first love of teenagers. It is difficult to get married in love. The interaction between boys and girls is indeed very beautiful and sincere. However, in life, the two people interact with each other in real life, and they will inevitably collide with each other's deeper real existence. Beauty will fade gradually, and more tension and real issues will be brought out from the interaction between the two sides.
When the romantic period gradually fades away, the relationship will inevitably need to mature. At this time, both parties realized the deeper and more realistic needs of for each other, such as what the other party really likes and what they really want to do.
For example, in addition to their respective natures, the current real values, real personalities, real living habits and preferences of both parties, and even the real psychological age, the true existing early trauma and shadows will be exposed layer by layer through the interaction of the relationship like peeling an onion.
This is also like the "mirror" of the Venus symbol, reflected to the self in the relationship through the person at the other end of the relationship.
When the beautiful "coating" of Venus dominates Libra is worn away by life, the true self of Mars dominates Aries begins to show "sharp corners", so the two sides begin to show Aries' competition and begin to create conflicts and oppositions between relationships.
Maybe the other party will lose his temper at us, so we collapsed and didn't understand why the other party suddenly changed. Because the emotional expectations at the beginning were too large, both parties may feel very stressed during the tension and conflicting interactions.
In life, we may have heard of women who have been heartbroken and cry to their best friends, how could there be such a man? A broken man complained to his buddy, why is she such a woman? Relationship is like a "mirror". Through this mirror of interaction between relationships, we expose each other's unconscious real state.
Even if this relationship state seems difficult to understand, not beautiful, immature, and even makes people feel painful and unacceptable. However, at this time, it was actually the relationship that went deeper.
Because, a pair of partners are together for a long time, just like two walnuts with shells, held in the hands of an invisible relationship, circling tightly with each other. After deep interaction and friction in life, everyone's "shell" will become thinner. Only in this way can the deep fragile "walnut kernels" gradually appear.
Only by experiencing the realistic tempers related to life, only after the accumulation of "friction" between two people, the ideal projection will gradually fade, and their respective reality will become clear in both directions.
When it comes to Venus and relationship, we will naturally think of Mars.
There will be a mutual attraction between Venus and Mars. A mysterious astrology scholar who talks about Venus and Mars in a spiritual sense said: "Venus always listens to the words of Mars." Then, when talking about the relationship and value of the symbol of Venus, we also need to look at the true nakedness of the symbol of Mars.
Mars dominates Aries, it is about the nudeness of the true self. Everyone has a real and unique life texture, their own life experience and perspective, so there will inevitably be some conflicts that are tense due to different situations in life. In conflict, the "truth" of a certain part of each other will break out.
At the same time, the pair of constellations of Aries (Guardian of Mars) and Libra (Guardian of Venus) actually contain many laws of worldly law. For example, relationships (Libra) are connected by two real individuals (Aries), so the truth and flesh and blood of Aries become the basis for the value of relationships.
The occurrence of conflict situations is actually behind . In order to help us see who we are. What kind of decisions we make, "go or stay in relationships", is not important, what is important is whether the basis of our choice is our truest wish.
Through intense relationship interaction, we slowly reflect on "what happened to the relationship" and "what happened to me". Through mirror reflection in relationship conflicts, we may understand "Who am I?"
A mature individual needs to have a sense of subjectivity, make independent choices, and bear the corresponding results.
I want to share the story of a woman being abused. I admire her.
She once fell into a situation of being abused by domestic violence and continued to experience this strong and explosive and harmful relationship. The "harm and victimization in the relationship" continued to repeat itself, like a vicious cycle.Until she began to look back on herself: Why am I constantly reincarnated in this situation of violence?
This kind of self-questioning mirror consciousness is very important and very critical. She no longer just unconsciously falls into the relationship entanglement of "harm and victim relationship" (Libra), and no longer just stays in the self-definition of "victim". She began to stand back in her position in her life (Aries) - what happened to herself.
She began to reflect on herself and began to see the truth of herself:
"This "new me" discovered something, in fact, I did nothing wrong. He just repeated the same mistakes between madness and peace; and I was just enjoying, even enjoying the process of his transition from madness to peace...
It doesn't matter what I am guilty of. What is important is that he also makes me feel a profound connection with this crazy harsh criticism and control - we all think that that deep connection is love."
The subject in her heart began to gradually wake up and began to ask powerfully: Who am I?
Until one day, She stood in front of the mirror and smashed the mirror with one punch, breaking the "self" in the mirror . The mirror was broken and blood was flowing out.
here contradicts the astrological metaphor. The mirror image of Venus (and Libra) symbolizes the anger and the impact of the fist, which is broken. The "self of reincarnation" in the mirror is shattered by the power of self-awakening, and the blood symbolized by Mars is sacrificed.
Her own real power awakens. She is not such a docile and tolerant person, she is naturally powerful.
It is hard for us to imagine that this woman was born. Mars fell in Aries in the astrology of , and she could grit her teeth and endure it for so many years. And for so many years, she has always been a weak image like a "good girl".
When we are willing to wake up, growth will happen. Many people are actually unwilling to wake up, and are used to being a passive child and a sense of security brought by dependence.
From a secular perspective, everyone may think that the thing she has experienced is too miserable. However, from the perspective of growth, she said that if it weren't for this painful relationship, she might still be in a state of sleep. She used to be very sleepy and couldn't wake up as soon as she fell asleep. The body's sleepiness is actually the sleep of the mind.
Slowly she began to see that the state of is related to the subtle influence of her original family in her early years. When she was a child, she was always severely disciplined, and parts of her nature were often suppressed.
She projected the sleeping Aries energy in her nature to the other party , and that very primitive vitality appeared in a violent pattern. She met such a person in Mars Aries mode and established such a relationship. Just like a mirror, in the end, she looked in the mirror and punched her...
She looked back and saw that the relationship she entered in a chaotic state, the self actually did not really stretch, and did not understand who she was, what she was doing, and what she really wanted. However, intimate relationship became a trial. She was shaken by the intense situation, and her true self finally awakened from the pain.
There was that Aries-like power in her body that began to wake up, which was the spark that had been sleeping in her. She has always had this power.
In fact, many times, it reflects our unconscious selves.
Any interpersonal relationship implies "intimate enemy". The so-called "enemy" is one's own opposite, which is one's forgotten, alienated, and standing in the shadow - 's true self that we are not seen by us.
But if there is no relationship with this kind of mirror, it will be difficult for us to see ourselves.
However, once seen. This kind of awakening itself has a deep value at the level of soul.
Through the temple of intimate relationships, we carried out a "heart trek".
Some people say that all relationships are to help us see ourselves. This is like the soul, trekking through one's own process.
The long road is just to find the sincerity of the soul.
So, how do we start the practice of love in our daily lives? What might a mature intimacy look like?
Just like the symbol of the relationship between the axis of Aries and Libra, Venus and Mars are attached to both ends of these two constellations - "Mirror" and "Naked" tell us that one of the meanings of relationship existence is that with relationship life, gradually clarifies who you are.
clarifies mature values and outlook on life. Clarify your strengths, weaknesses, nature, interests and hobbies, and clearly know what kind of life you want and what kind of life I don’t want. What is the trace of oneself in
? What is the basic principle of clarifying oneself? What are my beliefs and beliefs?
This clarification requires us to cultivate awareness of our true state in the current relationship. includes your behavior in relationships, and even your true state in your heart.
Observe what happened in the moment of life?
Whether in a negative or positive relationship state, we can truthfully observe what is happening to ourselves.
All of this is contained, We can - see the real self .
As the relationship deepens, we have a deeper understanding of our panorama. In the relationship prototype of "Aries and Libra axis", will generate sincere motivation .
The original relationship projection will gradually transform into The resonance and vibration of the two hearts .
The surge of love will surely produce two natural qualities at the same time: understanding and tolerance.
Inclusion is not indulgence, it is one with the creation of understanding. In this process of trying to understand and tolerate each other, both parties will become more and more real, understand each other more and more, and at the same time, they will become more and more aware of how to tolerate each other.
Then, thus creating respect. Respect yourself and respect the other person as an independent individual and a real person. She or he is the person who accepts that she is now, embracing each other's hobbies, personalities, past experiences, embracing each other's fragility, embracing a rich and real companion.
And in understanding and tolerance, the insight of love will naturally occur.
At that moment, we will have a very precious and beautiful feeling in our hearts. That kind of "beautiful feeling" is actually through relationships, we see a deeper prototype of Venus - , the natural value of being born into human beings.
Emotional relationships are actually often mapping our own value. This value is not materialized money value, but a value born into human beings and a natural value that perpetuates life.
Those real touches shining with eternal light will bring us a more inner sense of meaning. And these seemingly invisible values are indeed the core nutrients for Venus to bloom the charming flower.
Thousands of mountains and rivers, love is trekking, the more we become real, and the more we understand ourselves.
The light in the eyes of a lover is not only her light, but also the light that is reflected in your heart.
That is the most precious thing in the body.
0,000 yuan will not be exchanged.
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oral writing & writing | Lynn
edited and edited | Qingyi
typesetting | Ahao
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