Introduction
What people fear most when they are old is that they have no support and have no support in their old age, and life is really hard. When they were young, they rely on their parents, and when they reached middle age, they could only rely on themselves. The couple worked together to manage their family life well. When we reach old age, all we can rely on is our children. There will definitely be many difficulties when we get old, and there will also be many places where we need to use our children. Even the pension problem needs to be solved by our children.
75-year-old Mr. Zhao used to feel that he was very happy and that his children were very filial. But since he took turns to retire at his children's family for eight years, Mr. Zhao has been hit hard and has also understood who is his support in his later years. Next, let’s take a look at Mr. Zhao’s story together.
self-reporter: Uncle Zhao
My surname is Zhao, and I am 75 years old this year. My wife and I have a good relationship. We were classmates when we were young and fell in love with each other at school. After we reached the age of marriage, I couldn't wait to ask my mother to go to my wife's house to propose marriage.
Because we were a good match and our parents also supported our marriage, we got married like this. The days after marriage also developed as I expected. My wife and my parents got along well, and there were no conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. We were loving and never quarreled, and we rarely quarrel.
I also love my wife’s children very much, after all, that is the crystallization of our love. Because we are all educated and do not have the traditional idea of favoring boys over girls. We love our sons and daughters the same way, and try our best to be impartial.
Children have a good relationship, they are also promising when they grow up, and live a good life. My wife and I also think that our education is successful, otherwise we would not have taught such an excellent child.
After my children got married, the old couple did not interfere too much in their lives, and they even thought of following them to support their elderly. Because we know the principle of being close to each other, even if our children are willing to support us in their old age, conflicts will inevitably occur over time. You should keep a distance from the beginning so that we will not affect our relationship.
With my companion accompanying me, I live a comfortable life. Both of us receive pensions, and the pensions of our two people are already tens of thousands of yuan. Therefore, we also have the ability to support ourselves in our old age. We can solve all the money-related problems ourselves and not cause trouble for our children.
Days have passed year by year, and our lives are simple and warm. Later, my son felt that the two of us were too lonely and wanted us to move to their home for retirement so that they could live up to their knees and be filial to us.
My daughter is not willing to be outdone. She feels that we have been giving for them for so many years. Now we are getting older and it is time to need someone to take care of us. As children, they should also let their parents enjoy their old age.
The children took turns to persuade me, and my wife and I missed my grandson and grandson, so we let go to their families to take turns to take care of our elderly.
This has been living for eight years. In the past eight years, my wife and I have actually lived a happy life. Children are filial to us, and their daughters-in-law and son-in-law respect us for their sons and daughters’ sake. Although there are occasional quarrels, it is not harmful. We have had a good time. Those eight years have also allowed us to truly enjoy the joy of family.
But this kind of life came to an abrupt end two months ago because my wife was paralyzed. One day two months ago, my wife suddenly fainted after cooking lunch. After discovering it, I took it to the hospital in time. After the examination, I found that it was a cerebral hemorrhage. After the operation, I stayed in the hospital for more than half a month, and the sequelae of paralysis were left.
However, the symptoms are still mild. As long as the family takes care of it properly and pay more attention to rehabilitation training, your health will gradually improve in the future. I was not too sad at that time. First, my wife's health has not been so good in recent years, and I am already mentally prepared. Second, even if my wife can’t take care of herself, I still have my husband, so I can take care of her life. In addition, we also have children. When there is something wrong, children will definitely reach out to help me share some of the burden.
But after I expressed my thoughts, my son and daughter didn't speak silently. After a long silence, my son slowly said, "Dad, it's not that we don't want to take care of my mother. We all have work. It's already hard enough to go to work during the day. If we ask us to take care of the patients after get off work, we really can't hold on. You have to pay more attention to this matter. Our family is also noisy and not suitable for mother's cultivation. Why don't you move back to your own home, which is quieter and more comfortable to live with your mother."
Although my daughter didn't say anything, she obviously had the same idea as her son. To be honest, after understanding what my children mean, my heart was still hurt. I also understand their difficulties, and I never thought of dragging them down, but it was really heartbreaking for them to drive us away without hesitation.
The years we lived in our children's house, we did not live for free. We usually helped our family work, and our living expenses were even obtained from our pensions. We also pay most of the expenses for grandchildren and grandchildren. We have really spent a lot of money on our children’s families over the years.
But as soon as my wife was paralyzed, they didn't want us to live, for fear that we would become a burden to them. It’s really sad to think about it. Although it’s sad, I didn’t blame them, but accepted the suggestion silently.
In a few days, I packed up my wife and I and asked my children to send us back to my home. In the past, my wife shared everything at home with me, so I was still relatively relaxed. I have to take care of my wife alone and worry about the housework at home. I really can't handle it. I got sick once a month after I went back.
I feel that this will not work. Thinking that our pension is relatively high, I spent several thousand yuan to hire a nanny to make the nanny worry about the housework at home, so I focused on taking care of my wife. Sure enough, with the help of the nanny, I finally could take a breath and no longer have to work as hard as before.
With my careful care, my wife's health gradually improved. Although I haven't been able to take care of myself yet, I can walk a few steps slowly, my hands are full of strength, and I can eat independently.
In the past, my children and even my daughter-in-law and son-in-law were very filial. We old couple always thought that no matter what the situation happened, they would never leave us. But after eight years of retirement at my children's home, I realized that they are not our support in our later years. When we grow old, we can only rely on ourselves.
But this incident really hit us a lot. In the future, I will no longer worry about my children's affairs. Being able to raise them and arrange for them to start a family and start a career has fulfilled the obligation and responsibility of being a parent.
My only hope now is that my wife's health can get better and we will live a good life in the future. At the same time, I am also glad that we did not spend all our savings on our children. We still have some savings now, and we still have a stable income every month. Even if we don’t rely on our children, we can live a good life in the future.
Many elderly people of my age have the concept of raising children to prevent old age, but in fact, it is difficult to protect them from raising children. We elderly people must not rely too much on their children. We still have to rely on ourselves to support our elderly. Only by relying on our own life can we live more comfortably.
