says, "I'm sorry, my parents are sorry!" We have to sigh that parents have given too much to their children. From the birth of their children to the growth of adulthood, and even starting a family and starting a business, many parents help their children complete it in one-stop. It can be said that they are worried. The ultimate goal is to hope that their children have a good life and live a good life in the future. However, not all parents have such abilities. They may not be able to help their children achieve so many major events in life, and some even satisfy basic survival or study.
In this actual situation, they can only give up their efforts. Like some Western countries, treat their children, adopt the "free-leasing" policy, allowing their children to work hard on their own future. At this time, parents can only sigh helplessly, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings." Who knows that there is actually the second half of this old saying, and the second half is the essence. Do you know what it is?
Interpretation of "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings"
Perhaps for many parents nowadays, they hope that their children will not lose at the starting line, and try to give their children the best education, the best living environment, etc., and they will also try to arrange the growth plans or plans for each stage of their children's life, so that their children's growth and future development can be slowly realized in their own plans. Although seems very rigid and restrained, the initial idea of parents is good. Who doesn't want their children to have a good foundation for development? How important it is to struggle for decades less than others.
Of course, not all children are good babies, and parents' plans often cannot keep up with the changes in the times, or the changes in their children's growth and mentality. These uncertain factors have become obstacles and variables for parents to guide their children to develop step by step. Therefore, sometimes, parents may no longer be willing to worry after their children become adults, or they may not be able to continue to support their children's life matters after they grow up.
Then they will think that "children and grandchildren have their own blessings". The future development of their descendants depends entirely on their own luck and blessings. It seems to be a calm mentality, but in fact it is also the right choice. Because too much restrains the individual subjective initiative of their children, inhibits their interests and hobbies, etc. is not conducive to their true independence and development of their personal individuals. In this way, they will only cultivate mediocre people who are self-confidence and lack positive and enterprising spirit. In this way, sometimes letting their children work hard and feel the sinister hearts and coldness of the society will make them make great progress and ability improvement in a short period of time, and this is the real ability to base themselves on society in the future. What is the second half of the sentence where the essence of
is located?
And there is also the second half of this old saying that is little-known. This second half is "Don't be a cow and horse for your children." What this sentence means is clearly visible at a glance. In fact, it is the ancients who warned future generations not to interfere too much in their children's affairs. They have their own way to go. We parents do not need to be a cow and horse for them. should pay more attention to their lives on weekdays. Instead of being burdened and not pleasing, it is better to spend your old age and enjoy a peaceful life. Isn't this the best of both worlds?
Of course, this sentence is also quite essence. It is definitely a piece of advice now. I believe that many parents have worked hard all their lives. When they were young, they thought about how to improve their lives and how to shape their families. After they had children, they began to worry about their children's education, basic living needs and other issues. These are normal. However, some parents are too spoiled for their children. Even if their children have completed their studies and have the ability to work independently, they still take care of them. They also raise them like "big babies". They even work hard to save money for their children to get married.
Although parents’ hearts are very touching, have you ever thought that doing so will really make your children have a better life? In fact, it will only cultivate a "mama baby" who has accomplished nothing and may not be able to take care of himself. He has no independent opinions and lacks the ability to solve problems independently. Even if he gets married in the future, he will not be able to support a family.
Then it will create a group of young people in the new era who do not support their elderly care and only know how to "limit their parents". They will think that everything their parents do for themselves is what they deserve, and they have no guilt in their hearts. It seems that all the giving is taken for granted. In the future, this mentality will accompany them and make them live on their parents. This is a sorrow for a generation. Therefore, many parents are harming them in the end. Not all love can be rewarded well. You must know how to be moderate and give your children a certain amount of life pressure and space, otherwise you will only get incomparable naughty children.
learn to "let go" and properly discipline
The old saying is actually not a folk saying, but an allusion. This sentence comes from the story of "Bao Shizhi Sanjian Butterfly Dream" written by Guan Hanqing in the Yuan Dynasty. This story tells the story of a scholar teaching his son after getting married and having children. He hoped that he could develop his intelligence early, so he came up with a simple couplet. The scholar asked his son "What is the heaven for?" The son did not pay attention to the lecture, but continued to play with himself. The mother was also anxious and pointed to the ground, meaning "the heaven for the earth", but he saw the chicken shit on the ground and answered his father in this way.
This made this scholar so angry that he thought he had a stupid son and his reputation was ruined in his lifetime. In the end, he could not accept such a reality and abandoned his wife and children and became a monk. Many years later, he did not expect that his son would also get into the scholar. Obviously, his original idea was wrong. His son was not as stupid as he thought, but was young and playful, and did not answer his questions well. Facing his mistakes and one-sided views, he then said this sentence full of regret and emotion.
Through this story, we also see that children are people in the process of development. They have huge development potential. Parents cannot interfere too much in their lives and future. Moreover, the times are changing all the time. Every generation has their own thoughts, and there is inevitably a generation gap. At the same time, we must have a long-term vision and learn to "let go" and let their children and grandchildren fight for the life they want. Just guide and discipline them from the side to avoid them going astray.
Conclusion
There is nothing wrong with parents' desire for their descendants to live better and better, but we must understand that many things are not something that we can personally control. Everyone is an independent individual and has their own life. If parents impose their personal thoughts or unfinished ideals on their children, even if they are finally realized, just imagine, is this result really good? Are your children really happy? So don’t be blinded by our so-called traditional concept of “being good for children”.
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