TV series "If you don't know much, it's a family", housewife Jingya proposed paternity marriage (that is, divorce form without procedures) at the age of 60.
The first thing that was surprised was her husband. He didn't understand why he went out early and came back late, worked hard to drive a truck to earn money for the family, and he also suffered from back pain when he was old. Why did the result of his relationship be like this?
Children also don’t understand why a good family will be separated for no reason.
Only Jingya understands the suffering she suffered in her heart. She accepted the proposal from an honest man, and her life after marriage made her breathless.
She spoke seriously, but that man only talked back. They were always quarreling and always threw things...
She had enough of him full of shortcomings. She hated him wandering around and hated him taking medicine for good health alone...
Living under the same roof, she was very distressed every minute and every second.
Xue Qing watched this TV series and lamented that her love life was somewhat similar to the heroine in the TV series.
Boyfriend is a dull man and rarely expresses love to Xueqing like those couples on the Internet. At first, Xueqing thought her boyfriend was not slick and was quite reliable.
After a long time, Xue Qing couldn't help but wonder, is it that difficult to say "I love you" or "I miss you"?
Once, Xueqing went to another city on a business trip. The temperature dropped sharply. Xueqing was not used to it for a while and complained to her boyfriend a few times. Every time her boyfriend just said that she would just wait to get home.
Xue Qing couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. No matter how you look at this love, she won't feel sweet.
She saw a couple quarreling on the street. The girl threw the things in her hand on the ground and left. The boy hurriedly picked them up, not caring about his image, and kept apologizing and begging for mercy while chasing him.
Xue Qing couldn't help but feel funny and a little envious.
You should know that every time Xue Qing quarrels with her boyfriend, it is wrong. It should be when Xue Qing unilaterally vents her dissatisfaction with her boyfriend, her boyfriend is always "as stable as Mount Tai", making her feel like a punch to cotton.
Xue Qing often wondered whether her boyfriend listened and valued what he said.
Xueqing is born with a bit of a clean obsession, but her boyfriend is a rough-and-leaf type. Today, a black sock came out from under the pillow, and tomorrow there were still potato chip residue and oil stains on the table. Xueqing put a brand new book on it and instantly turned into the " big face " for performing.
Xue Qing's anger was gushing out as she saw it. The man in front of her was getting more and more annoying. Thinking of his shortcomings, Xue Qing hesitated about the future.
It was not unaware that when she came home from a business trip, she was greeted by the steaming mutton soup on the dining table.
heard from my mother that because Xueqing felt cold, her boyfriend specifically asked Xueqing's mother how to make mutton soup. She tried it at home several times before finally making a delicious taste.
Although Xue Qing sings alone every time he quarreled, he also listened to what Xue Qing said. Although he did not coax it with sweet words after a fight like other people's boyfriend, he would always apologize to Xue Qing sincerely.
My boyfriend once joked: "Before I met you, I didn't clean up these two words in my dictionary."
Indeed, Xue Qing didn't know how many times he said to her boyfriend because of this, but compared to the beginning, her boyfriend has become accustomed to doing some simple sorting, which is also a change.
When we talked with our boyfriend for a while and found out that he had many shortcomings and problems, what should we do at this time?
It is impossible to ask for a return or pray for a time to go back and choose a new boy, right?
After all, this boy has some advantages in addition to his shortcomings, but he has to swallow his anger and live his life in the future.
In fact, we can work hard to find the optimal solution for this problem.
1
Correct the mindset
There are no perfect people in the world. People and everything have their own advantages and disadvantages.
Even if the stars who look bright and glamorous are shining in the spotlight, they still have shortcomings or are not good at it, but because they don’t know enough, they just don’t know.
Similarly, the closer the distance is to a person, the more likely the flaws of this person are to be exposed.
is like a little joke told by a myopic friend:
When I was not wearing glasses, I saw a beauty with long hair in the distance. Although it was vague, I felt extremely beautiful;
, etc., when I got closer, I found that she was actually a little dark. When I got closer, I found that there were moles and freckles on her skin.
So, no matter who you are in love, we must establish a mentality that no one is perfect, but not too beautify each other.
In the process of getting along, the other party has some shortcomings one after another, such as Xue Qing is encountering her. She found that her boyfriend was dull and not very good at speaking sweet words, and felt that her love was completely different from what she imagined. What should I do if
? Keep getting angry?
A smart girl knows how to adjust her mindset at this time and understands that the other person is not a perfect person, and he is also ordinary, and it is normal to have one or another shortcomings.
With this premonitor mentality, there will be no excessive expectations, and without expectations, there will be no disappointment.
2
Face the glowing point
Once someone asked an old couple who had been loving for decades how they did not quarrel for decades? Is it because the other party has no shortcomings?
The old lady said with a smile: "He has many shortcomings, but because of his advantages, those shortcomings have been faded in my eyes."
From getting to know each other and then to falling in love with someone, if this person has no advantages and no place to make him moved, the possibility is also very small.
It is just after the baptism of time that we are slowly blinded by the other party's shortcomings, and spend most of our time on picking the bones.
It is true that the more we get along, the more we can discover the other party’s real shortcomings, but we must reflect in time whether we also ignore the other party’s advantages, or take it as a matter of course.
Just like Xue Qing and her boyfriend, Xue Qing always bothers about these shortcomings of her boyfriend, and even because of these shortcomings, she doesn’t know how to go about her future relationship.
But Xue Qing did not consider that the opposite of her boyfriend's shortcomings is the glittering advantages.
Although my boyfriend is not good at expressing himself, his action is always great. He always speaks less and does more.
Although I can’t listen to a few good words, Xue Qing really enjoyed a lot of care from her boyfriend.
Xue Qing envies other couples for being able to quarrel quickly and quickly, hoping that in the end, her boyfriend can coax herself like other boyfriends.
But Xue Qing never thought about how many couples ended up breaking up because of the intense dialect between the two parties. How many boys were concerned about it at first, but as they coaxed them, they no longer had patience.
Xue Qing's boyfriend doesn't know that he is rational even if he is angry, so he always restrains himself, does not say excessive words during quarrels, and apologizes to Xue Qing after calming down, which also avoids more quarrels and emotional consumption.
The advantages are always opposite to the shortcomings. What we need to do is just change our thinking. Maybe there are advantages in its shortcomings!
3
Learn to communicate and praise
Ancient Greek There is such an interesting story in the myth of "
King of Cyprus Pigmalion e sculpting very much. Once, he carefully sculpted a beautiful woman. This sculpture was so perfect that Pigmalion gradually fell in love with this work.
He praised her beauty every day to the sculpture. Finally one day, the statue turned into a charming beauty and walked towards him with a smile.
Even the stone-carved statues can be moved by praise, let alone the flesh and blood boys?
When a girl says to the boy, "Look, you are just lazy and don't even clean up your socks! That guy's boyfriend sends her flowers every week, and you are just a elm-head, you can only buy vegetables..."
Boys work all day long. If they have to face your verbal attacks after returning home, then they will feel extremely wronged, have no motivation or even want to escape slowly.
Besides, no one likes to listen to complain. Even if you listen, you will not change it willingly. The best way is to communicate and praise sincerely.
"Baby, I found that you have been used to putting your socks recently. It would be better if you can wash them next time."
"Dear, you always buy groceries and cook for me to eat. I feel very happy. Next time I buy a vase and put some flowers in it, which is worthy of your good food!"
Chen Guo said: "The so-called best marriage is to make two things together and tolerate each other."
In fact, love is also true. There is no perfect, eternal happy relationship, and the two people in the relationship are not perfect.
The reason why some couples parted ways while talking is because they did not correctly view and deal with their advantages and disadvantages.
As a girl, you must also learn to give the other person more tolerance and understanding, and learn to discover the other person's strengths from every bit of life, rather than always focusing on the shortcomings.
Two people are together, life will inevitably be bumpy and bumpy. Never complain or give up easily.
When you understand the true meaning of tolerance and praise in your feelings, your love will collide with more beautiful sparks, become stronger, more delicious, and longer.
Author | Liu Wan Loves words, likes psychology, and pays attention to personal spiritual growth. She is currently engaged in education and devotes herself to studying gender relations and women's self-improvement. She hopes that through words, everyone can have new feelings and gains about their feelings
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