When he saw the movie "Gone with the Wind" adapted from the novel "Gone with the Wind", Reed finally walked out of the house with a box, Scarlett called him sadly behind him and asked Reed: "What should I do if you leave?" Reed turned around and said resolutely, "I don't care!"
Alas! It's really heartbreaking to see.
When Reed proposed to Scarlett in the book, Scarlett had just lost her second husband. Reed said that he was afraid of missing her again, so he didn't want to wait any longer. He could only fully possess her by marrying Scarlett. Rude and overbearing words hide the deep love of Reed for Scarlett.
And Scarlett promised Reid's proposal not because she loved Reid at this time, but because Reid could bring her comfort and the money she wanted.
But why did Reed leave when Scarlett confessed to Reed that she loved him?
〔1〕Ashley has been proposing to Scarlett at
Red knew that Scarlett had always loved Ashley in her heart, but she still proposed to her.Red knew Scarlett, and he knew Ashley was not suitable for her, but Scarlett himself was obsessed with it and couldn't see it clearly.Red believed that as long as he was good enough to Scarlett, Scarlett would fall in love with him one day.
But Reid still overestimated his tolerance for Scarlett's obsession with Ashley.
Shortly after marriage, their youngest daughter Bonnie was born, but Scarlett still couldn't let go of Ashley, and thought Ashley would mind having a baby with Reed, so he asked Reed to sleep in a separate room. Such a request from
undoubtedly made Reed's heart feel cold.
Just like Reid said in the book: "Ashley has been there all the time, and it forced me almost crazy. I can't eat face to face with you every day. I know very well that in your heart, you would rather sit in my seat. I can't hold you to sleep at the same night..."
Yes, the main reason for them to separate is not entirely because of Ashley, because later Scarlett realized that he no longer loved Ashley, and even confessed to Reid to stay.
But the marriage that originally belonged to the two people was slow to see Reid's love for her, and her obsession with Ashley made her relationship with Reid suffer a lot.
〔II〕The gap in thought
When they first got married, Reed loved Scarlett like his father.
Just like in the book, Red said to Scarlett: "During the war, I planned to leave and forget you, but I didn't do it, so I had to come back often. After the war, I risked being arrested just to come back to find you. Scarlett, you have indeed struggled a lot. I know better than anyone else how difficult the road you have walked, so I hope you can take a break and let me fight for you."
At this time, Red took Scarlett as a daughter, and felt sorry for him. He could tolerate Scarlett's willfulness, ignorance and fearlessness, and even cruelty.
But this relationship cannot always be the case between husband and wife.
between husband and wife,
the relationship between husband and wife: sometimes the father, sometimes the husband, sometimes the son.
The relationship between wife and husband: sometimes the mother, sometimes the wife, sometimes the daughter.
Because of human emotional and psychological needs, this is almost an inevitable attribute of the relationship between men and women in marriage.
But they cannot convert well when they get along.
When their beloved young daughter Bonnie fell to death due to a horse, Reed was heartbroken and shot the foal who had fallen to death on the spot. As a mother, Scarlett was also sad and even fainted on the spot.
But when Scarlett recovered and could handle his daughter's funeral rationally, Scarlett did not give Reid a word of comfort, but accused him of not dying if it weren't for Rhett's teaching his daughter to ride a horse.
This undoubtedly stabbed Rhet, who had just lost his beloved daughter, in the heart. Rhet went to Bale (a prostitute) to buy drunk and expressed his feelings, told Melanie (Ashley's wife), but couldn't communicate with Scarlett and comforted each other.
Red is a man with a masculine temperament. He usually mocks and helps others. However, no matter how powerful a person is, he is fragile. When he needs a woman to comfort and understand like a mother, Scarlett, as his wife and the closest person, does not understand him or understand his pain.
From getting to know each other to getting married, Reed is like Scarlett's umbrella, teacher, father, and husband, but Scarlett has always been the character of a 17 or 18-year-old girl.
Although she experienced the cruelty of the war, Scarlett had to go from a rich lady to a businesswoman who was forced to make a living for the whole family. She was strong in life and dared to make a fortune in business, but she was lacking in her inner thoughts.
So after marriage, when Reed needed to communicate with her in his thoughts, the two of them could not be in the same frequency.
Red is a 17-year-old man who was a scattered nobleman like Scarlett. He admired his grandfather who had been a pirate. When he was young, he was driven out of the house by his father because of his rebellious temperament and behavior. He relied on himself to struggle all the way and had a lot of wealth. He went to the Western Military Academy and visited many places. It can be said that he has knowledge and insights. He can clearly see the essence of a person or something, and always know what he wants.
And Scarlett just grew up in her hometown of Tara. When she was in school, she loved mathematics the most, so she was smart and capable in business, but it was difficult to be on par with Red in terms of thoughts and insights.
The difference is like the confusion and incomprehension that Scarlett showed when he saw that Ashley and Melanie had so many common topics in literature, music and art.
For the future development of her younger daughter Bonnie and to allow Bonnie to be influenced by good ideas in the upper class of old southern society, Reed was willing to put aside his attitude and establish a good relationship with his neighbors who had looked down on him before, but Scarlett felt it was unnecessary. She felt that as long as she had money, she could solve all problems.
As a mother, Scarlett has not done much to raise her three children. Scarlett focuses on making money, obsessed with Ashley, and dressed up and held dances... The child is sometimes more like the product of her marriages without love, and is a burden.
And Reed is patient with his three children and get along with them with all his heart. Even the children born to Scarlett and his two previous husbands, Reed loves them.
Red saw the children's problems, and Scarlett no longer had to make a living at this time. Red advised Scarlett to let go of business and give the children more love, more companionship, less scolding and blame like Melanie, but Scarlett always disliked it.
The situation changes after the war. Reed reminds Scarlett to stay away from those who are vulgar and misbehave at the right time, but Scarlett still dates them.
Red likes Melanie's character and sees Melanie's sincere friendship with Scarlett and advises Scarlett to treat Melanie well, but Scarlett thinks Melanie is just a timid and thin, and obedient little woman.
The differences in thoughts and differences in knowledge make them conflicted in marriage.
Just as Reid said to Scarlett, "You will always only see the surface, but you cannot pay attention to the essence of things."
Reid said that he loved Scarlett with the highest degree that a man could achieve in love with a woman.
But if two people want to walk with each other, in addition to their beautiful appearance and material favor, they also need to resonate with the same frequency in their thoughts and spiritual harmony, otherwise, over time, they will only make the two people in the marriage tired and tired.
〔Three〕 Win the heart and lose the relationship
In the book, Reed said to Scarlett: "You regard other people's love for you as a whip and wave it on their heads."
So when the two get along, Reed's love for Scarlett is often not revealed directly, but instead uses ridiculed and rude words to pretend to be careless and not caring. Such Reed also makes Scarlett often doubt whether he really loves her.
Just like on Ashley's birthday, Scarlett and Ashley hugged each other and were seen by others, but the hug at this time no longer had the elements of love, it was just the memories of the beautiful life of the past and the warm hug between old friends.
But this incident was rumored to be very rumored, and Reed was also very angry when he found out.
On the night of the incident, Scarlett explained to Reid that Reid had taken Scarlett upstairs drunk. Even though Reid was brutal and angry, Scarlett felt that they had the best night since their marriage.
At this time, Scarlett was deeply in love with Reid both physically and psychologically, and Reid also loved Scarlett.
But the next morning, Reed didn't dare to face Scarlett and ran out to drink first. When he came back from outside, neither of them was willing to express their feelings first. Finally, he ended up fighting each other with cold words. Reed even took his daughter Bonnie away.
Yes, both of them are too proud, the kind of self-esteem that refuses to reveal their love first and strongly protects them, the kind of desire to win and lose, the kind of desire to occupy the emotional high ground, can be imagined how tired, awkward they will be in the marriage, and how many troubles and misunderstandings they will have.
It was also because of this that Scarlett, who was pregnant, fell down from the stairs and had a miscarriage. This was the most wanted child in the three marriages that Scarlett had experienced. She felt that this child was the crystallization of his love with Reed, but she lost it because of the pride, sarcasm and competition between them.
In such a marriage where you don’t understand and can’t fall in love, the two of you are fighting each other, suffering and consuming.
Just like the description of his appearance in the book when Reed left:
"The clothes on his body were supported by his increasingly thick waist, which looked wrinkled and sloppy. The beautiful image on his body had been ruined. A strong face became rough, and drinking and debauchery also damaged his handsome appearance. Now his head is no longer like the avatar of the young pagan prince on the newly cast gold coins, but more like the old and tired Caesar on the old copper coins ".
Scarlett was also filled with pain and sorrow for Reid's departure.
[Conclusion]
Red said that he is the only man who knows Scarlett's background and still loves her.
I remember there is a saying that people who understand everything are the gentlest and coldest.
And Reid is such a person. He knows Scarlett. He loves her beauty, strength, full of vitality, the passion for love is like fire and warmth; but he can also see Scarlett's shortcomings clearly but lack tolerance. So I left coldly and resolutely.
Scarlett finally found out that she loved Reed. She recalled every little thing that Reed did for her in the past, but in the memories, Reed was always giving for her. She said she loved Reed, but at this time she really knew how to love Reed? No! She just needs him. When Melanie, who loved her and maintained her strength, passed away, she found that only Reed could comfort and support her psychologically and spiritually.
The two finally separated, Reid said that he was going to find "beautiful things", which was Melanie's humility, gentleness, tolerance, and the elegant demeanor of the old southern gentleman as Ashley mentioned.
And Scarlett also returned to Tara, to the black maid who educated her since childhood, to regain the beautiful qualities that her mother Allen possesses, to learn how to love others, and to learn to grow up.
always thinks that marriage is a matter between two people, so the problem must be with these two people. Just like the existence of Reed and Scarlett's separation, is there really that much relationship?
There is no material lack in their marriage. The main reason is that they have different mental factors, lack of understanding, and lack of understanding, which leads to them not trusting each other's feelings for themselves, which makes them exhausted from love.
Love a person can be because of his beautiful appearance, but if you want to get along for a long time, it must be an inner attraction and understanding.
The two people in love should warm and nourish each other with love. Instead of using the other person's love for him to deal with him, whip him on the other person's head to satisfy his competitive vanity and disconfidence.
At the same time, the advantages of loving someone should also be tolerant and accept his (her) shortcomings, otherwise how can you really love someone!
