In married life, some conflicts between couples are irreconcilable.
For example, if a husband likes to be lively, he will often invite three or five friends to visit his home, but his wife likes to be quiet. She only yearns for a world of two people where she can live alone with her husband.
The formation of a person's personality is created by his innate nature and his acquired living environment. It is usually difficult to change. Couples with different personalities will inevitably have conflicts in their daily life.
If you want to reduce the probability of conflict between couples in daily life, they need to have a deep emotional foundation. Even if there are conflicts between couples, they can tolerate each other to the greatest extent, and are even willing to regard each other's shortcomings as advantages that they admire.
As the marriage life unfolds, even if the couple love each other, their love will inevitably depreciate with the passage of time. The specific manifestation is that the couple begins to ignore each other's emotional feelings, and feels that in the marriage life, their efforts are not proportional to their gains.
In married life, once the couple starts to be petty, they lose their tolerance for each other, which will cause the couple to fall into subjective thinking and do not know how to think from the other person's perspective.
When a couple has a conflict, perhaps from their respective perspectives, they will not think that they are wrong. However, for a specific conflict, if the couple wants to resolve the conflict, there must be a party who needs to make concessions.
View the conflict between husband and wife rationally. You cannot judge the matter in a quarrel, but should break out of the marriage relationship and look at the conflict between marriage with a "bystander".
As the saying goes, those in the authorities are confused, those who are bystanders are clear, and those who know how to manage marriage are mostly good at being a "bystander" in a marriage relationship.
1, entering into marriage requires sentiment, while managing marriage requires rationality.
Marriage requires sensibility. Only when couples are united together under the driving force of love can their marriage relationship be happy and stable.
When a couple joins hands to enter the marriage hall, they have to face many realistic problems. Whether it is the differences caused by personality incompatibility or the pressure of life such as food, food, oil and salt, it will make the relationship between the couple unstable.
If you use sentiment to deal with the actual problems in marriage life, couples will easily fall into a situation of talking to themselves, because the two parties have different perspectives and their attitudes towards things will not be the same.
Only by looking at the contradictions in marriage rationally can we understand the root cause of the contradictions and properly resolve the contradictions between husband and wife.
2. Only by thinking about problems outside of marriage can you see the essence of marriage contradictions.
Emotional problems are complex. People who are deeply trapped in emotional conflicts often appear emotional, so they cannot see clearly the real reason for the emotional conflicts.
In married life, couples quarrel over trivial matters. Many times, it is not because of the matter itself, but because they feel that the other party does not understand them, or even does not love them.
Because of this, the quarrel between the couple on matters is not only not helpful in resolving the conflicts in their marriage life, but will instead intensify the conflicts between the two parties.
Only by standing outside of marriage and examining the problems in the marriage relationship can we better see the essential reasons for the conflicts in marriage.
3. The method of managing marriage is to be a "bystander".
The method of managing a marriage is to separate yourself from the marriage relationship and become a "bystander" in marriage life.
The so-called "bystander" is by no means indifferent to the marriage partner. On the contrary, becoming a "bystander" in marriage life is to better manage the marriage and be closer to the heart of the marriage partner.
When conflicts arise in marriage life, many people are confused by the authorities. Only by making themselves a "bystander" can they be able to "clear bystanders".
As a bystander, it is easier for us to see the essence of marriage conflicts and to deal with marriage problems. For example, when a wife complains about her grievances to her husband, she may just want to get the attention and care of her husband. If she does not understand this, she will not be able to deal with marriage problems.
People who know how to manage marriage will be willing to be a "bystander" in their marriage life.
When dealing with emotional problems, as a bystander, you can better understand the real reason why the other person is dissatisfied.
. It is not a game between husband and wife. It is necessary to determine who is wrong. It is whether the husband and wife can be tolerant of each other on the basis of love and then manage a good marriage together.
Many times, when a couple has conflicts, a person who is willing to take a step back is not a manifestation of cowardice, but a manifestation of his deep love for each other.
Only by looking at marriage contradictions rationally can we gain happiness in our marriage life.
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