Toutiao emotional account
Although a family does need to help each other, it cannot be too much, otherwise divorce will definitely be waiting for you. Just like this thing in the article. Don't talk about this woman, if this happened to me, I would also choose to divorce. I hope that through this case, everyone can pay attention. Especially men, you can help your family if you want, but you must do so in a measured way.
Even if it is to help his own mother. What is going on? Why is this happening? Let's take a look at this matter together. When I bought a house, my mother-in-law gave me 5,000, but now I have to borrow the house to live in for 50 years. My husband said, "We are a family," and I said, "Get out."
case story sharer,
27-year-old Ms. Su:
I married my husband half a year ago. But now I have to choose divorce. There is really no choice. But I think I'm not wrong. So today I will talk about this matter, and everyone can help me comment on it. I moved into the house half a month ago. This house was purchased by my husband and I, and it can be regarded as our marital property.
In the past, my husband had no money to buy a house. When he bought the house, he was still short of some money, so I went to my parents to borrow money. It was my husband who asked me to go. My husband told me that the house you are looking at is not just mine. How about you go to your parents and ask for some money? If you rely on us to make money to buy a house, you will probably spend the rest of your life. Unlikely.
Now we can save 2,000 yuan a month, but in the future, when the children grow up, they will also start to grow up. What's more important is if you don't buy it in full. The monthly mortgage payment is terrifying. I have a friend who took out a loan of RMB 188 when he bought a house, and the final interest was RMB 1.9 million. In other words, if you add the principal, it is RMB 180 + RMB 190, and you have to pay back more than RMB 3 million.
is nearly 4 million. Isn't it too scary? If we also bought it with a loan, we might not be able to pay it back in our lifetime. Start paying off your debt now, and you can barely pay it off until you retire. If this is the case, will we be gone in this life?
So we absolutely cannot pay in installments. So you go back to your parents to ask for money, and then I go to my friends, relatives, and parents to ask for money. If you can borrow it, borrow it and pay it off in 10 years, which is better than paying the bank more than 1 million in interest. If we have this 100, we can buy one more set. Why should we give so much money to others? Is it easy for us to make money?
We can't save much money every month, let alone in the future. Our children are still young and can't use so much money, but they will need more money after they enter junior high school, high school and college. Especially after high school, you need to participate in various cram schools. If your child's academic performance is not good, how can he be improved if he does not attend cram schools?
Children’s education must be paid close attention to. Children are the future of the family. Only when the children are well will we be well in the future. If the children are not well, it will be difficult for us to be well in the future. Therefore, we must seize this matter urgently and leave more money for our children.
When I heard what my husband said, I thought it made sense. Then I told my husband, that’s okay. After all, children are the future of the family, and I don’t want to be shameless. Anyway, I am an only child, and my parents have said that if I need to buy a house, they will definitely support it. Now I go back to them. But in the future we have to support my parents in their old age.
My husband told me that this is necessary and it would be unjust to deny it to them. Even if your parents don't give us money to buy a house, we still have to support him in his old age because I married their only daughter. No matter what, I will support them in their old age. If they give money to buy a house, we should treat them better. Without them, there would be no you, and without them, there would be no house.
So I must be kind to your parents no matter what. As long as I have a bite to eat, I will never starve your parents.You can rest assured about this, and don’t you know what I am like as a person? If you thought I was a bad person, you wouldn't be with me. Since you chose to be with me, you must think I'm a good person.
So you don’t have to worry about this. Just go back and ask them for money. If you want to pay back later, leave it to me. If you are responsible, leave it to me. Your task is to ask them for money. Just ask for as much as you can. Ask for as much as possible, after all, buying a house is so expensive.
If we have 500,000 yuan to buy a house now, we will need at least 1 million yuan. I can probably get 20,000 to 300,000 yuan from my side. So in the same way, my parents can get 20,000 to 300,000 yuan. If they don’t have it, look for those who have it. Relatives and friends borrow more.
If you borrow money from relatives and friends, they will not tell you about interest rates. Even if they tell you interest, you can pay it later, unlike banks, which can't be paid even a day late. Moreover, relatives and friends will not be so unkind. After all, buying a house is a major life event, so they will definitely help.
So don’t worry, they will definitely help. Then I went back to my parents' house and asked my parents for money. My mother told me that she gave us 100,000 yuan as a bride price when we got married, plus our previous savings, the total was 300,000 yuan. I gave it all to you. I wanted to give it to you before we got married, but you didn’t want it. Are you asking us to buy a house now?
Then I told my parents, yes, I have to buy a house. If I don’t buy a house, I will have no place to live. The children will grow up slowly, and I will have to provide for you when you get old. If you don’t have a house, you won’t have a house in the future. If you know where to live, you won't be able to rent a house for the rest of your life, let alone go back to your hometown.
The college entrance rate in my hometown is far less good than that in big cities. It is relatively good to study in a junior college there. But in big cities there are all undergraduate programs. Maybe I am not saying that junior college is not good, but if you have the conditions, why not study for an undergraduate degree, or above? Nowadays, there are a lot of college students, and they must give their children a better education.
Only in this way can the child have a future, otherwise the child will be as mediocre as his parents. Even if our generation is like this, I don’t want my children to be like this, so I want to give my children a better education no matter what, and I want my son to reach a higher level.
Then my father smiled and said, if I had thought like you before, maybe you would be more powerful now, but there is nothing I can do. I couldn’t even eat enough before, so how could I do it? You won't blame me, will you? Then I said to my father, how could I blame you?
Without you, I wouldn’t have the conditions I had before. It’s not like I didn’t know that. In the past, our family didn’t even have enough to eat, so how could we have the money to send me to a better school. So I will not blame you, yes, I can understand you, but I am different now. I am better now, so I must give my children a better education. Even if I work harder, I still have to let my children read more. Good book.
Only in this way will our hall get better and better. Besides, my husband has already said that he will definitely provide for you in the future. As long as he has a bite to eat, you will not be hungry. So don't worry. Just like that, I went back with the 300,000 yuan given by my parents. Our savings are 500,000, plus my parents’, and then we have 800,000.
My husband borrowed more than 200,000 yuan, which adds up to more than 1 million yuan. Then we bought a house with full payment. It's been more than a year and almost two years. Then the house can be collected. The house was ready to be moved into half a year ago. I thought I would start a happy life and my children could go to kindergarten here. What I didn't expect was that my mother-in-law wouldn't let me live in it.
My mother-in-law said to me, where are you going? The house is mine, how can it be yours? Quickly ask your husband what's going on? My husband told me, I forgot to tell you something. My mother is getting married to someone soon.
But that person only wanted my mother to have a house before he would be with my mother. But where does my mother have a house? The only one who can help my mother is our house. So my mother only had this house, but she borrowed it. My mother will give it back to me in 50 years.
what? I was very angry when my husband said this. I said to my husband, wasn’t I buying this house for my children? Why is it for your mother? If the house is given to your mother. So how will we live our lives in the future, and what will happen to our children’s studies? Your mother has been like this all her life, so don’t bother yourself like this when you get old, okay?
My husband told me that he was not giving the house to my mother, but just lending it to my mother. Didn’t I say that? Just lent it to my mother. You also know that my mother has always been alone. Now he is still alone. I feel very sad. I don't want him to live alone. And my mother has found a suitable person for her, why can't we help?
We are all a family, can't we help each other? What's more, my mother gave me money when I bought the house. When I bought the house, my mother gave me 5,000 yuan. Didn’t I tell you at that time? Among the money I got back, 5,000 yuan was given by my mother.
And the house was not given to my mother but lent to my mother. Didn’t my mother just say that it will be returned to me in 50 years? My mother is in her 50s now, and in 50 years she will be over 100 years old. By then My mother was gone and the house was returned. You can rest assured on this matter. I have signed an agreement with my mother. We will definitely be able to get the house back in 50 years.
I couldn't bear it anymore. I told my husband that if the house is given to your mother, it will be a problem for our children to study, and then we will also have a problem, and even my parents will have a problem in providing for themselves in old age. Didn’t we agree to buy a house for our children and to support my parents in their retirement years? Otherwise, my parents would not have given me so much money.
My parents gave me 300,000 yuan, but now they tell me that I won’t be eligible to live there until 50 years later. My parents may not be around in 50 years. They will soon be 60 years old. In 50 years, will my parents live to be 110 years old? Or 120 years old? Is this possible?
I don’t care, I don’t agree with this matter. There was a snap and my husband slapped me. My husband told me that I am the head of the family. Regardless of whether you agree with it or not, this is the way it is. For my mother and this family, I can only do this. How we lived in the past is how we will live in the future. We can still go outside.
And it’s okay to live outside... I want to rent my house for 50 years for 5,000 yuan. Do you think it's possible? Do you think I would agree? If it were you, you wouldn't agree either. This house is not only for our family, but also for my parents to rely on for their retirement.
That’s how things are. Faced with this matter, shouldn’t we choose divorce? Besides divorce, what can I do? Shouldn't we get divorced? My husband goes too far. He only has his mother in his heart. He can help his mother, but he cannot go so far. Since he goes so far, don't blame me.
Conclusion:
If it were me, I would do the same thing. First, there is no place for you in your husband's heart. If there was your place, he would not face this matter for the sake of his mother. If it were me, I will do the same thing. First, there is no place for you in your husband's heart. If there was a place for you, he would not beat you because of his mother.
Secondly, when your husband was eager to use you to buy a house, he agreed that he would provide for your parents in their old age. He agreed that everything was for this family. But now you have gone back on your word. Not only did you lend your house to your mother for 50 years, but you are also beaten.
If this is the case, how will you live in the future, let alone provide for your parents in their old age? How will you provide for your parents in their old age after the house is with your mother-in-law? Do you really have to wait until 50 years later? What will the world be like in 50 years? Forget it, the only option is divorce when faced with this matter. As long as your husband doesn't want to live with you, then why should you give him a chance?
Divorce is the right thing. If it were me, I would choose divorce. Faced with this matter, I must choose divorce, so you are not wrong. One more thing to say here is that men can help their families, but they cannot go too far. Even if they are helping their mothers, they cannot go too far.
