A few days ago, I saw a message on WeChat that a woman was hit by her husband's car because she was divorcing her husband. I'm a little scared, because I don't know if one day, he or I will do something irreversible because we can't control our emotions. Thinking about this makes

A few days ago, I saw a message on WeChat. A woman was hit by her husband's car and died because she was divorcing her husband. I'm a little scared, because I don't know if one day, he or I will do something irreversible because we can't control our emotions. Thinking about this makes me extremely scared.

Confession: Zixia
(the characters in the story are all pseudonyms)

Age: 32 years old

Occupation: Staff

(1)

With pictures

Dacheng and I met at a high school reunion. He was not actually a classmate of our class, but it happened that we went to the restaurant owned by his family on the day of the party, and one of our classmates was a good friend with him.

I returned to Tianjin after the class reunion. He kept calling me and chatting on QQ. He seemed very attentive and understanding at that time. I have just entered the society, I am not good at handling interpersonal relationships, and I am also under a lot of work pressure. After chatting with him online for a few words, he tried his best to persuade me to come to Shijiazhuang. On November of that year, I resigned from my original employer. After hearing about it, he took the initiative to go to Tianjin, packed up all my belongings, and brought me back with me.

We got married six months after our long-distance relationship. Everyone thinks that I married well and stepped into a "rich family". Da Cheng's family is wealthy. His parents own a restaurant and his brother is in the medical equipment business. Dacheng has been following his brother around since graduating from college.

We have no financial differences, but we often quarrel over trivial matters in life. The reason for the quarrel is very simple, that is, the two people have different ideas. If something doesn't suit his taste, he will nag endlessly, repeating the same thing over and over again. He criticized me for doing something wrong in this or that matter, but in fact, he had no constructive opinions and was just venting his emotions.

I find it strange that such a grown man can be so talkative like a woman. If I don't argue with him and let him speak for himself, the matter will be over. Keren's patience is limited. Nagging one thing over and over again, or even nagging one thing for several days, often makes me feel a little broken. Sometimes I can't stand it anymore, so I argue with him for a few words. Most of the time he can't argue with me, but if I argue with him, the only result will be that he will hit me.

(2)

with pictures

The first time Dacheng hit me was half a year after we got married. I forgot the specific reason, but it was definitely not a big deal. He couldn't quarrel with me, so he slapped me in the face.

Although he was not tall, he was very strong. He slapped me so hard that stars appeared in my eyes. I fell down on the sofa and it took me a long time to recover. I sat on the sofa and kept crying. After he beat me, his anger seemed to have subsided, so he hugged me and apologized, vowing never to do anything again.

I never told anyone, including my parents, about him hitting me. I don't want them to know that my life is like this. Besides, family scandals should not be made public. Therefore, in the past few years since I got married, others have seen me dress glamorously, use the most expensive cosmetics, and drive luxury cars every day. But in fact, my married life has always been very depressed.

The quality of Dacheng's attitude towards me depends entirely on his mood. He is in a good mood and I am fine no matter what. If he is in a bad mood, I don't dare to express my anger at home. I don't know if any words or things I do don't go as he wants, and he will get angry.

One year after marriage, I became pregnant. When he learned the news, he was very happy. The refrigerator at home was filled with various high-end supplements. But because the pregnancy reaction is so strong, I can't smell the irritating smell at all, especially the kind of meat and fish. Let alone eating it, I will vomit if I smell it. He stewed meat and fish and forced me to eat them. I couldn't eat it, so I ran to the bathroom and vomited so hard that my nose and tears were flowing.

I actually knew that he was worried that his child would not be nourished enough, but he could not understand my feelings at that time. I couldn't eat anything and had to go back to the bedroom to rest.

Dacheng stood at the door of the bedroom and kept nagging: "Isn't it just pregnancy? What woman is not pregnant? She vomits after eating, and won't eat again after vomiting. Look at you for being squeamish."I was so uncomfortable that I didn't even want to live. When I heard his nagging, I felt even more uncomfortable. I was lying on the bed with tears streaming down my face.

I knew that I should be stronger and have to eat for the sake of my children. But his anxious attitude , The furious roar made me unable to eat at all. Later, my cousin came to take care of me for a month, and I finally got through the worst stage of morning sickness

(3)

with pictures

The baby was born. , is a son, and he is very happy. When the child was young, he would play with the child when he had nothing to do. The thing I fear most is that the child will get sick. Sometimes we will quarrel. If the child catches a cold, he will be cured after just two days of treatment.

He will get angry, scold me, and force me to give the child medicine, or force me to take the child to the hospital for infusion . In fact, many times, the child does not need to take it at all. As long as he pays attention to his daily life and takes care of himself, he will be fine. But he is very anxious and scared, so he has to take the child to the hospital. As long as the child takes the medicine and the liquid is given, he can feel at ease.

There was a quarrel, and I had to give in to him. The result of this was that the child often took medicine, injections, and had infusions. I knew that frequent infusions were bad for the child's health, but I couldn't resist him. It made me feel bad to see the child suffer. But there was nothing I could do. In order to keep my child in good health, I paid special attention to his diet. I was very afraid that my child would get sick. It was not until my child was five or six years old that his body gradually became stronger.

Dacheng Neng and I ended the worry. There are few things that we agree on. Let’s just talk about buying things. During the Chinese New Year and holidays, I prepare New Year gifts for the elderly on both sides. As long as I choose something, he will not buy it in the end, and what he chooses in the end is often the same. They were all things I didn’t want to buy. I was very angry at first, but then I persuaded myself that since he was happy, he could buy whatever he liked.

He likes to take me shopping, but we always take him. Every time I went shopping, I would go out happily, and we would have a big argument and go home because he didn't like the clothes I liked. If I compare him, he will immediately look down on me. I have to obey him no matter what clothes I wear or what kind of shoes I wear, which makes me very unhappy every time I go out with him.

(IV) )

with pictures

After living with Dacheng for so many years, I always felt that my heart was hanging and not at ease, because many times, his emotions were uncontrollable at the beginning. He was still talking nicely, but he didn't know which words he didn't want to hear, and he immediately became furious. That is to say, it was calm one moment, but it might be a thunderstorm the next.

He is very scary when he loses his temper. He stares and dares to say any nasty things. I often say that his mouth is like a septic tank. Every night when I get home from get off work, I often feel nervous because I don't know whether he is in a good or bad mood today.

My happiest time is when I am on a big business trip. Sometimes, when I watch him walking away with his suitcase, I can't help but cheer. Because as long as he is not at home, my children and I can live a peaceful life.

When I was browsing WeChat a few days ago, I saw a news story about a man who killed his wife with his car because she wanted to divorce him. In fact, we have also experienced such risks.

That time, Dacheng and I drove our children out to play. Everything was fine at first. He was sitting in the passenger seat, and his son in the back seat saw that he was in a good mood and even quarreled with him. When we were walking on the outer ring viaduct, he seemed to give the child a math problem, and the child got the answer wrong.

He started nagging non-stop, saying that the child was as stupid as a pig and could not even solve such simple questions. Then he started scolding me and saying I was stupid for giving birth to such a stupid child. At that time, my hands holding the steering wheel began to tremble. I stabilized my emotions and knew not to be angry while driving, but he still refused to stop and kept accusing me.

In front of the child, I didn’t want to argue. The anger in my heart rose and then suppressed it, but I couldn’t help it anymore. My anger was transmitted to my feet, and the speed of the car suddenly increased. I even thought that if I turned the steering wheel hard and the car fell from the elevated road, all the pain would be over. At this time, my son sitting behind me suddenly said: "Mom, don't drive so fast, I'm scared!"

My son's words were like a basin of ice water poured down from my head, and my mind immediately cleared up. I thought, yes, I fell with him, but where was the child? The children are so innocent.

I tried to calm myself down. He seemed to have said enough, and actually fell asleep in the passenger seat. At that moment, extremely vicious thoughts arose in my heart. If he never woke up, would my son and I's miserable life be over?

(7)

with pictures

I felt that I had a psychological problem, and I went to see a psychological counselor. The psychological counselor said that I feel insecure inside. How could I possibly feel safe? There was such a dynamite bag at home that would explode at any time.

I thought calmly, is it because I have no feelings for him anymore, that’s why I see him so badly? But I really can't think of anything good about him, except that he is honest, but let's call him honest, but he is not good to me. He may indeed be richer than ordinary people, but money is not everything. Having money does not mean that he can bring happiness to his family.

In the past ten years, I have never dared to bring my friends to my home because I don’t want them to see the door that was kicked down by him when he lost his temper, and the deep hole in the wall that he smashed with a chair.

When my child was a child, he was a very funny kid who was loved by everyone. But now, he is in the fourth grade of elementary school, and I rarely see that bright smile on his face. He's too emotional with me and he's too emotional with the kids. As long as he is unhappy, neither my child nor I can be happy, and even my puppy cannot be happy, otherwise he will kick him.

I can't mention these things. If I mention them, he will say that I am bringing up old scores. He didn't even know that he was treating me and the children like this and that one day we would have to leave him.

That day, I sent my children to extracurricular classes. After I got home, I told him, let's get a divorce. I've had enough of this kind of fear, and now I have no confidence at all after being scolded by you. He never mentioned the divorce, and we had a heated argument, so we had another fight.

It has been ten years, and he always does this. After he beat me, he would bring me a towel, wipe my tears, hug me, comfort me not to cry, and swear that he would never beat me again in the future. Still keep fighting.

Looking back on these years, I feel that my life was not just days but hardships. Of course, if I don't divorce him, I can live a stable life without having to think about making money, and my children's future should be very secure. But if we continue to be together reluctantly, apart from letting others know that the child's parents are not divorced, it will not be good for anyone's future. After ten years of marriage, I feel regretful that it has reached this point, but I am really tired.

With pictures

Psychological Navigation

Some people say that marriage is the tomb of love, while others say that marriage is the fruit of love. Whether it is a tomb or a fruit, in fact, the key point lies in how both men and women manage the family.

Women must be cautious when dealing with marriage. Before getting married, you should at least picture your marriage and life after marriage in your mind. Just like building a house does not have to be in full accordance with the design drawings, but if there are no construction drawings, the house will not be built at all.

In fact, Zixia was not fully prepared before marriage, including knowing very little about her partner. She hurriedly entrusted her life's happiness. The foundation of such a marriage is relatively poor, and the foundation is relatively poor. Poorer marriages require even more careful management.

Reasonable and effective communication is a good way to promote family harmony, but domestic violence is first of all not allowed by morality and law. Secondly, it can only make two people's hearts go farther and farther apart, and their mutual resentment becomes deeper and deeper. The pain in my heart is getting more and more painful, and these cannot be healed by a few words of coaxing. In addition, whether the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious and whether the family relationship is harmonious also plays a decisive role in the formation of the child's personality, and even affects whether the child's future family will be happy.

Zixia's husband has obvious anxiety, which can easily be transmitted to his wife and children. If you want to get through the current predicament, you may find a professional to evaluate and guide the relationship , and you may be able to turn things around.

■ Text/Hebei Youth Daily reporter Pi Xueyan

■ Editor/Pi Xueyan

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