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" Siddhartha ": "I have no right to judge other people's lives. I can only make judgments for myself."
Whether other people's lives are good or bad, to us, it doesn't matter. What about the impact?
We cannot enjoy other people's good lives and can only envy them; when others have bad lives, we rarely take the initiative to help. After all, it takes time to solve our own mess, let alone other people's affairs.
So, living your life well within your own capabilities is a kind of happiness.
The story of reader Taotao (pseudonym) illustrates this principle very well.
01
Her mother-in-law didn't like her at all.
When Taotao was not married, she and her husband went to her mother-in-law's house, but her mother-in-law didn't have any kindness towards her. Instead, she felt that her daughter-in-law was a bit extravagant and wasteful.
Before leaving, Taotao prepared bird's nests for her mother-in-law and a box of tea for her father-in-law.
But when the mother-in-law saw these things, there was no joy on her face. Instead, she said that Taotao didn't know how to buy things, so she only bought things that she couldn't use at home.
Taotao wanted to refute, but she chose to keep silent. After all, she would not lose any points if she was told a few words.
After chatting for a while, her mother-in-law said that she was going to prepare meals. Taotao took the initiative to ask for help, but she was dissatisfied again, but this time, her mother-in-law did not say it in front of her.
The mother-in-law said: "This soon-to-be daughter-in-law really doesn't know how to be frugal! When washing vegetables, she doesn't know how to use a basin to get some water first, and then wash them in the basin. She insists on washing them directly under the faucet. She thinks the water is free. !"
Taotao was speechless. She always washed vegetables like this when she was at home, and it was faster and cleaner.
However, Taotao adheres to the idea of "one less thing is worse than one more thing", so she does not take this matter seriously. After all, there is still a long time to come.
However, before the marriage, Taotao finally understood that her mother-in-law could not stand her, but she was not afraid of her mother-in-law causing trouble. After all, she had already thought of solutions to many problems.
02
After she had a big fight with her mother-in-law, their relationship got better.
Sure enough, bad things happened as soon as they were told.
After the wedding between Taotao and her husband, her mother-in-law occupied a room in the wedding house and refused to leave at all.
Taotao was not particularly angry at this time, but rationally told her mother-in-law some normative behaviors.
But when her mother-in-law heard this, she immediately felt dissatisfied and asked angrily: "Why can't I live in the house I bought?"
Taotao said patiently: "You can live in it, but I have conditions. Either I divorce my husband, so you can live in this house however you want and make it whatever you want; or you can listen to me, I am the mistress of this house, after all. With you here, we sometimes have to do some inconvenient things."
Before Taotao could finish her words, her mother-in-law stopped and asked, "What specifically are you talking about doing inconvenient things?"
Taotao? Tao covered her mouth, smiled and said, "If you don't want to have a grandson, then just pretend I didn't say anything."
The mother-in-law struggled for a while, then packed up her things and walked out of the room.
Although we don’t live together, because this house is very close to her mother-in-law’s house, her mother-in-law will bring some food to Taotao every now and then, as if she is her own daughter, which she couldn’t stand before. Just disappeared without a trace.
03
People who deal with problems rationally often have the upper hand.
Taotao and her mother-in-law went from being at war with each other at the beginning to falling in love with each other. In this process, Taotao's rational handling of problems was indispensable.
If she was like other women who would only cry, make trouble, and hang herself when faced with her mother-in-law occupying the wedding room, then she would not have such a good ending in the end.
Therefore, for a woman, the happiness of marriage does not depend on what kind of mother-in-law you meet, but on how you deal with problems.
A woman who can deal with any problem calmly and can speak on her own strength will definitely not be persecuted in the face of all kinds of entanglements from her mother-in-law, and maybe she can directly improve the relationship between them.
Just like what is said in this story: Confucius students quarreled with a seller. Is it three seven twenty-one or three seven twenty-four?
The students think it should be three seven twenty-one. If the student is wrong, the student will take off his official hat and apologize to the other party; but the seller always thinks it should be three seven twenty-four. If it is the seller If the person was wrong, he would die to apologize.
Confucius listened to the argument between the two, and then said calmly: "It's three, seven and twenty-four!"
Confucius' disciple reluctantly apologized to the seller. Later, the more he thought about it, the more he didn't understand, so So he ran to ask Confucius.
Confucius smiled and said: "If you are wrong, you just take off your hat; but if the other party is wrong, then what you lose is a living life!"
Indeed, in comparison, Naturally, the outcome of the latter is worse, and this is just an argument, there is no need to go to the point of bloodshed.
It can be seen that people who deal with things rationally always have the upper hand.
Xiaonuo has something to say
If the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along well, either the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law have high emotional intelligence; or there is a sensible mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law who can see the situation clearly.
Taotao is a daughter-in-law who can see the situation clearly. Through her step-by-step guidance, her mother-in-law can realize her problems and then make adjustments and improvements.
topic: Do you think Taotao’s approach is right? Welcome to write down your opinions in the comment area.
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