For ordinary people, finding someone to marry, starting a small family, and living out their lives is the "right way in the world."
No matter you are older and unmarried or single after divorce, if you are single for a long time, you will inevitably attract criticism from people behind your back, and your acquaintances will inevitably judge you.
It seems that if you don't get married or find a partner, you are being rebellious. In a society where marriage is the mainstream value, you are an alternative, and you will be maliciously labeled as "this person has always been single, maybe there is something wrong with him."
When I was single before, I made malicious assumptions about single people, but after experiencing a marriage, I suddenly began to understand those people who chose to be single, and found that they are the bravest people.
: Aunt Zhang was widowed at the age of 38 and has never remarried. She raised two daughters by herself.
In my mother-in-law's circle of friends, there is such an exquisite and beautiful classmate, she is Aunt Zhang.
She is slim, well-dressed and well-dressed. She speaks clearly and confidently. This is my first impression of Aunt Zhang.
When talking about her two daughters, she is full of confidence. The eldest now owns an educational institution, owns a car and a house in Shanghai, and is a completely successful person.
The second daughter is a typical career elite. She works as a supervisor in a foreign trade company with an annual salary of hundreds of thousands.
Later, when I heard my mother-in-law talk about Aunt Zhang’s life, I admired this “strong woman” in her early 50s even more.
Aunt Zhang's husband died of illness when she was 38 years old, leaving her and her two daughters to live in a dilapidated rural house.
You can imagine how difficult it was at that time. People in the village, relatives and friends all advised her to remarry and find a man to remarry, which could help relieve some of the pressure in her life.
Aunt Zhang has not considered remarriage, but she has one condition, that is, she must bring her two daughters with her when she remarries.
Matchmakers came several times, but the man backed down when he heard that she was raising two daughters.
Of course, there are also a few older bachelors who are not able to find a wife, and they agree to Aunt Zhang’s condition of bringing her two daughters in marriage.
But there are conditions, that is, after remarrying, Aunt Zhang must have another child that belongs to them.
"I'm 38 years old. Not to mention that advanced maternal age is very dangerous. I already have two daughters and I don't want to have another one. My biggest wish in this life is to train the two of them to become talents instead of having a bunch of children just for quantity. , don't care about quality. "
In the end, Aunt Zhang simply stopped seeing the matchmaker. She said that remarriage will be left to chance until she meets the right one. If she never meets the right one, she would rather stay single for the rest of her life and be a single mother.
: She worked as a waiter and sold insurance. She raised two outstanding daughters on her own.
When Aunt Zhang’s husband passed away, her eldest daughter was 13 years old and in junior high school, and her youngest daughter was 8 years old and in elementary school. .
My eldest daughter is studying in junior high school in the town, not far from home, 20 minutes by bicycle.
Aunt Zhang has been taking care of her two children at home since she got married and has never gone out to work.
In their time, most women were in charge of the inside and men were in charge of the outside. Men earn money outside and women take care of their children at home. It’s not like now where buying a car or a house is stressful.
After her husband passed away, due to the pressure of life, she went to the town to find a job as a hotel waiter. Although the salary was not high, it was close to home and she could go home to help her children with their homework and accompany them every day.
“Every day when I get home from get off work at the hotel, it’s already past 8pm, and I’m exhausted. But when I face my two daughters, I always smile. No matter how tired I am every day, I have to check their homework. "I have suffered a lot in my life. They are still young and there are many possibilities in the future. I cannot let them follow my old path," Aunt Zhang recalled.
Regardless of rain or shine, she never took a day off.
"One time it was raining heavily and I was riding to work. It was just dawn and I didn't notice there was a pothole in front of me. I fell down all of a sudden. The man and the car overturned on the side of the road. It took a long time. , I slowly got up. My leg was bruised and bleeding, and my whole body was sore. I endured the pain and went. When I got there, the owner of the restaurant said that I had fallen like this. Just take a day off and tell me when you come tomorrow. , I won't say anything. "
" It's all over. It was really hard to think about it now, but there was no time to complain at that time. The two children were waiting for me to eat at home. "After that, Aunt Zhang said. He laughed again.
Later, my eldest daughter was admitted to college, and I sent my younger daughter to the county town to attend junior high school.
She started selling insurance again. Because she was eloquent and sincere, her business was very good.
“When I saw my peers getting rich and buying new clothes and gold and silver jewelry, I actually wanted to, but when I thought about my two daughters still having to study, I endured it and saved all the money I earned for them to study. Use it." Aunt Zhang said.
Aunt Zhang had talked with the divorced man for a while, and his words made her completely give up the idea of remarriage.
When Aunt Zhang was in her 40s, a colleague introduced her to a divorced man.
The husband's family was in good condition. He was divorced and had a son. He owned a three-story house in the town and had a job with a monthly salary of several thousand, which was considered a good income at the time.
He said that he could accept Aunt Zhang's two children, saying that his daughters would be married off when they grew up, so this was not a problem.
The two of them have been dating for more than half a year. Aunt Zhang will go to his house to help them with laundry and cooking after work.
At first, the two of them were quite polite to Aunt Zhang, and they got along fairly well with each other.
As time goes by, conflicts gradually arise.
Both men have bad living habits. There are smelly socks all over the floor and garbage can be seen everywhere on the floor of the house.
Because they were a married couple, Aunt Zhang couldn't say anything at first. She helped them wash, cook and clean as usual every day.
But after a long time, Aunt Zhang was no longer happy. Why should I serve you two and pay me a salary? What the hell, this is like finding a free nanny for my family.
Aunt Zhang had several quarrels with that man over trivial matters in life, but each time the quarrel was over, it only lasted for two or three days. After a few days, the two men's problems started again.
It was just trivial matters in life, but something happened later that completely gave up Aunt Zhang's idea of marrying him.
That year, Aunt Zhang’s eldest daughter was studying for graduate school, and her younger daughter was facing the final sprint from high school to college. She was really strapped for money, so she asked the man for money to pay for her eldest daughter’s living expenses. When
asked for money for the first time, the man was a little unhappy, but he still gave it. Later, when he asked for living expenses one after another, the man was not happy.
"You tell me to save some money, it's not easy for me to make money, and I have to find a wife for my son in the future. Besides, why is a girl reading so many books? She has already graduated from college and still has to go to graduate school." "The man frowned and murmured.
"I usually wash and cook for you two at home, and take care of your food and daily life. Even if I am a nanny, I still need to be paid. What's more, I also have a job, but I am temporarily short of money, so I will ask you to help me."
After that time , Aunt Zhang packed her luggage and moved out of that home without looking back.
No matter how hard the man behind him begged, Aunt Zhang would never see her.
END
If you were in Aunt Zhang's situation, would you choose to remarry? Welcome to leave a message to discuss
