From a psychological perspective, the midlife crisis refers to middle-aged people aged 40 to 60. They may face many problems such as career, health, family and marriage. These problems may cause middle-aged people to collapse and their mental state will become worse and worse.
The midlife crisis that occurs in men, also known as "Men's Forty Syndrome". However, as the pace of life accelerates, this sense of crisis among men may appear ahead of schedule, and even many post-80s and post-90s begin to feel like a midlife crisis.
What aspects does the male midlife crisis manifest in?
Mid-aged workplace crisis
People who have been proud of their industry experience and so-called workplace connections are surpassed by the "post-95" and "post-00" in "minutes". When the wave of layoffs rushed, I realized that the "capital" was not myself, but the platform I was originally located. After leaving the platform, I realized that I was nothing. The so-called industry connections and fame instantly returned to zero, and everything had to start from scratch.
Middle-aged marriage crisis
Men's man is clearly working hard to contribute to his family, but he is gradually drifting away from his originally close lover. The two often quarrel and make a mess, or love loses to young beauty. Although I was lying on a bed at night, I was brushing my cell phones back to back and was unwilling to communicate and communicate face to face. Both parties feel lonely and feel that they are not understood. Even more serious, there will be family violence and "infidelity" incidents, which will eventually lead to the breakdown of the family.
Mid-life health crisis
The former handsome boy has been carved with beer belly, bald head, and crow's feet by time, and has entered the ranks of "greasy" middle-aged man. Appearance is second-hand. What should a middle-aged man do if his body has "three longs and two shorts"? What should I do with elderly parents? What should I do if my lover is in harmony with each other? When a person reaches middle age, one person falls and the whole family may fall apart. On the one hand, I dare not get sick and soak wolfberry in a thermos cup every day; on the other hand, I am lazy to exercise and do not pay attention to diet and nutrition.
Faced with the middle-aged workplace crisis,
How can men break the deadlock?
Objectively analyze the current situation
Improve core competitiveness
First of all, we must analyze the current situation of our work, consider whether there is room for further improvement, and whether we should take a different approach on the development path.
Secondly, it is an analysis of one's own situation, we must understand ourselves in a timely and correctly, and analyze our strengths and weaknesses.
At the same time, it continuously improves its core competitiveness in the workplace and improves its work ability to a level that will not be easily replaced.
Accumulate workplace connections
Build a personal brand
Many people have misunderstandings about connections and believe that the "high-ranking officials" who make contacts at work are considered connections.
In fact, the connections that should be accumulated at work are those who can cooperate with you in your career. Even if you are not in that position, the other party still trusts your character and ability and is willing to continue to cooperate with you. This is the real connection.
Therefore, we must not only be a professional workplace person, but also become a "reliable" workplace person. Professionalism is your professional level, while "reliability" is the essence of your behavior.
Continuous charging
Lifetime learning
Middle-aged men may be confused and have no goals, so don't slack off.
You can read more books and read some books that you are interested in or are currently engaged in.
When encountering problems in work, ask people for advice, constantly learn and practice, always maintain a desire for knowledge, and gradually improve and expand your cognitive field.
If you plan to enter a new job in the future, or want to start a new side job, then as a preliminary preparation, you must first learn and master new knowledge and skills.
In order to make life better and enhance one's ability to resist risks, middle-aged men should maintain a "lifelong learning" state.
Faced with the middle-aged marriage crisis,
How can men break the deadlock?
Understand and accept the difference between your wife and yourself
In the early days of falling in love, differences were once the attraction for each other. Young men look at the difference between their lover and themselves with idealization, but gradually, as friction increases, these once attractive advantages become disgusting shortcomings.
At this time, middle-aged men should deal with each other's differences through creative coordination. They should neither give up their own views completely nor persist overly, but try to find a way that both parties can accept.
You need to understand that lovers are just like you, they are independent and thoughtful individuals, and based on the principle of "seeking common ground while reserving differences", they love her as they are.
Give up changing the obsession of lover
Many men have a set of assumptions about how their partners should be. Behind this set of assumptions reflect their own experience, needs, expectations and desires. When a partner doesn’t match his own ideas, he feels anxious and lost. At this time, they will not question the assumptions in their minds, but they want to transform their partners, but their partners are "disobedient", so the conflict between the two sides further intensifies.
After many quarrels, middle-aged couples were disappointed with each other and gradually developed into indifference. In fact, both parties in a marriage will change for each other. This change is willing and natural, rather than forcibly changing the lover in the name of "I love you".
Cultivate common hobbies and interests
Freezing three feet is not a day's cold, middle-aged couples are relatively speechless, and it is not a short-term interaction model. The reason why both husband and wife have gone from "talking about everything" to "no words to say" is perhaps because the two are inconsistent in their pace.
Therefore, two people should cultivate common hobbies and interests, so that many common topics will be added to the couple and many common cognitions, and eventually the marriage will be happier and longer.
Faced with the middle-aged health crisis,
How can men break the deadlock?
Maintain a healthy routine
Moderate physical exercise
Stay away from staying up late and ensuring the regularity of daily routines and rest. It not only allows the body to have sufficient rest, but also allows the body's "biological clock" to operate normally, which is the key point of health preservation.
Middle-aged men are prone to over-obesity. In addition to over-nutrition, the main reason is that they exercise too little. Excessive obesity is a driving factor for many diseases, so insisting on moderate exercise and maintaining a good figure is an important part of protecting health.
Stay away from unnecessary alcohol use, eat a balanced diet
alcohol abuse and drunkenness, which leads to a significant increase in the risk of physical diseases in the human body, and at the same time accelerates the aging of the body (such as beer belly, hair loss , etc.), and even causes sudden death of . Therefore, male friends who are middle-aged must strictly control their intake of alcohol to avoid excessive drinking.
At the same time, stay away from various unhealthy eating habits and ensure balanced daily diet, so that the various nutrients and trace elements needed by the body can be supplemented in a timely manner, which will help men's healthier than "soaking wolfberry in a thermos cup".
Regular physical examinations, early medical treatment
Men often don’t want to see a doctor if they are unwell. Although men and women have the same health needs, men see a doctor much less frequently than women. It can also be said that men are more passive in seeking medical guidance.
The development of medical science and technology provides a good method for early treatment of many diseases, but if it reaches the late stage of the disease, it is often powerless. If you want to detect diseases early, on the one hand, it is due to regular and regular physical examinations; on the other hand, if you experience physical and mental discomfort and seek medical treatment early, you can get early diagnosis and treatment in most cases.
Every middle-aged man will miss the youth and passion of the past in his heart. The crisis itself is not terrible. What is terrible is your fear and retreat. I hope every man can bravely break the midlife crisis and usher in a more exciting new stage in his life.
Encourage with all male friends!
reference books
1. Zhang Xiaoheng , "Who's Middle Age Is Not Crisis", Beijing Times Huawen Bookstore
2. Chen Haixian, "Love, Need to Learn", Xinxing Publishing House
Note: All pictures in the article are from the Internet, apologize for infringement.
Author: Van Tengteng
Peking University Sixth Hospital
Editing||He Yingying
Typesetting||Bai Yu
Review||Ma Ning
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