do you know? People who are not confident are more likely to feel unhappy.
People who are unhappy for a long time and are in negative and negative emotions are also prone to being unconfident.
This is linked together. One behavior of a person will inevitably affect himself in another state.
So, what is the root cause of lack of confidence?
How should we adjust our mentality when we feel unconfident?
-01
A person's unconfident manifestation
First: Subconsciously compare with others
The most obvious feature is that.
They are used to comparing with people around them, comparing their studies in their students, comparing their families in college, comparing their work after graduation, and comparing their income after work.
From a partner, marriage is more than relationship, buying a house is more than size, buying a car is more than price, and having a child must continue to get satisfaction in the child.
When a person falls into the vicious circle of "comparison", he will go further and further on this rugged road.
Moreover, people who are not confident prefer to compare with people who are "better than themselves". The more you compare
, the more you feel inferior to ; the more you compare, the more you feel that you are useless.
2: Dare not to express himself or express himself
For example: In some specific occasions, he dare not speak loudly and dare not attract other people's attention.
The more people there are, the more likely he is to be nervous; this is not only a manifestation of social terror, but also a reason for lack of confidence.
In other words: social fear comes from lack of confidence, and inferiority complex will aggravate social fear, which is also linked.
When I was a student, I did not dare to raise my hand to speak;
participated in the work and did not dare to express my views at the meeting;
In social, I did not dare to express dissatisfaction and different opinions on other people's opinions.
They are worried that their initiative and performance will make others look down on themselves.
desire to be followed by others, but dare not be followed by others.
3: People who are used to self-negation
Confident people have a "optimistic and confident" mentality when encountering anything.
"I can do it, of course I can, I can do it; even if I can't do it, so what if I can't? I won't lose anything, just exercise myself." What about
people who are not confident?
They are used to denying themselves first whenever they encounter anything.
often says: "I can't do it, forget it, let's not do it."
Those who are not confident in their bones always seem timid and look back.
-02
What is the reason why a person is not confident?
First: Anger at your own powerlessness
Wang Xiaobo said:
"The essence of a person's pain is anger at your own powerlessness."
People who are not confident in their bones are essentially a question of their own ability and a denial of themselves.
They want to change themselves, but find that their abilities are insufficient;
He wants to express his anger, but he dare not offend the other party. What state do people like
easily develop into?
is kind to outsiders and bow down outside. When you get home, you have a bad attitude towards your family and vent all the negative emotions you encounter on your family.
2: Destiny is a "samsara"
The first reason to connect to it.
This is related to the native family.
People who are not confident must have suffered criticism, belittled, and ridiculed by their parents during their growth, and they grew up in this kind of original family environment.
Think about it, what will a person become in his heart since he was a child and has not received recognition and praise?
Once he formed his own family and entered a stable intimate relationship, his subconscious mind unknowingly copied the way he got along with his original family.
is not confident because his growth trajectory is spent in "belief and attack".
3 Third: There is no "score" that can be achieved
There are some people who are not confident because they realize that their lives are very "mediocre".
When I was young, I lived in the opinions and arrangements of my parents, and I dared not resist and had no opinion.
The academic performance is average, the appearance is average, the figure is average, and the popularity is average.
After graduation, he started working, his work was average and his income was not high.
Down in love and get married is not because of love and is not satisfied with your love life.
Recalling his life, he seems to have never done anything successful, valuable, and that makes him feel particularly accomplished.
Therefore, in this "psychological hint" and self-restriction, he is becoming less and less confident.
In fact, most people's lives are mediocre and ordinary.
We are all ordinary people, there is nothing worthy of inferiority.
-03
How should people who are not confident in their bones change their mentality?
First: Learn to express your true self
Someone makes you unhappy, don’t suppress your emotions, learn to release them.
Your anger, dissatisfaction, happiness, and boredom should be expressed appropriately.
If you always suppress yourself, you will become less and less happy over time.
And this is the root of depression - long-term unhappiness.
Expressing oneself not only includes expressing one's emotions, but also "rejection". What does
reject?
rejects others' unreasonable requests, rejects others' harm to you, and refuses others' excessive interference in your thoughts and life.
These people include parents, as well as your lover and friends.
Life is your own and has nothing to do with others.
2: Record things that make you feel fulfilled, and repeat
You need to develop this habit. At what moments can you get a sense of accomplishment?
did a good job and was praised by his boss;
helped a stranger outside and got "thank you";
was praised by others;
developed some good habits to make yourself more and more self-disciplined.
These are all behaviors for you to gain a sense of accomplishment.
You should immerse yourself in it and carefully feel the pleasure brought to you by the sense of accomplishment;
And learn to do these things that will make you feel fulfilled.
This is called "self-confidence cultivation".
Today's topic:
Are you a person with inferiority or a confident person?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
