Emotional First Aid | Several mentalities that effectively relieve negative emotions
We often see some specific methods to deal with negative emotions, but we rarely seem to say which mentalities should be used to deal with negative emotions. If the mentality can be practiced through long-term deliberate practice, it will be more direct and effective than the specific method.
So today I will talk about some super effective mentality that helps you relieve negative emotions.
01 Future mentality
The first mentality is called the future mentality.
You can recall the previous things that made you particularly painful, sad, and angry, such as being cheated of love, failing the exam, and being fired. No matter how big or small the matter is, now you can look at how many negative emotions are left in the original form. This is the effect of the future mentality.
No matter what bad things happen or what negative emotions arise, please try from a future perspective and think about . How will I feel after ten minutes, and what will it affect me after ten days? Ten months or even ten years later, the answer is already in front of you.
No matter how big the matter is, it is not a problem if it takes a long time.
02 Observer mentality
The second mentality is called Observer mentality.
is exactly the opposite of the future mentality just now. This time we have to face negative emotions directly , and we must pay attention to the current feeling. This mentality is similar to when meditating. Many times, we are not tortured by negative emotions , but are tortured by the feeling of "fearing negative emotions" , and then we are chased by negative emotions all the way. You can think carefully about whether this is the case.
The reason why I feel the pain of breaking up is because I always think about "what to do in the future", "I won't see him in the future", and thinking about the little things I have had with him, but I have never focused on the present.
A particularly interesting example. also draws straight lines . If you are asked to directly draw on white paper now, you will most likely draw a seven-mile turn. If you are asked to draw at the already drawn points one by one, just like when you were a child, you must draw quickly and straight. It is because your eyes were at the end of the straight line before, but now your attention is on the two points at the moment that are several millimeters apart.
Happiness, anger, sorrow, and happiness are indispensable. If you are not a normal person, then why do you only welcome joy and reject sorrow and anger? All you have to do is simply treat negative emotions as objects and as individuals. focuses on the present, observe him , watch him come and see him leave, and your negative emotions will disappear soon.
03 Survivor mentality
The third mentality, survivor mentality.
We have been taught to be ambitious since we were young, and to compare with powerful people, not as high as low as high. No matter if others are good at studying, working well, making a lot of money or being lucky, we will be used to asking the sentence "Why can't it be me?"
I hope that this mentality can be used on setbacks and adversity. So what if you fail the exam, lay off your job, break up in love, and fail in investment? Why can't these things happen to you? Why do good things have to revolve around you, and bad things have to avoid you?
negative and negative seem to be an eternal bug in the human brain. There was once a sociological survey. Most people would focus on a 10% failure rate instead of being grateful for the 90% success rate.It’s like if you have 100 yuan in your pocket and lose 10 yuan. Few people will think, “I’m so lucky and have 90 yuan.” Most people will complain about why they are so unlucky and lose 10 yuan.
So, even if has the same objective facts, people with different mentality have different perspectives, and the result is different . Negative emotions are coming, please think more from the perspective of survivors, do more additions and less subtractions.
04 Direct mentality
The fourth mentality is called direct mentality.
Modern education has brought many of us to an extreme, that is, we cannot say anything directly, we must hide all thoughts, and hold back all emotions. One expression and one venting is that we have no emotional intelligence, no education, and poor emotional control ability.
Psychological scholar Li Songwei talked about in "The Round Table" why people with high education are more likely to be PUA. To put it bluntly, it is because school education always makes us reflect on ourselves, control emotions, and overcome instinct . We must have the same tolerance as the earth, and have the same mind as the sea. We cannot cry when we are wronged, and we cannot scold us if we are angry. defeats the instinct and also cause internal injuries.
The direct result of doing this is that you feel uncomfortable, and the other party will become more and more serious. There is a saying that goes very well. is called kindness without a bottom line and will not be cherished by others. If you don’t lose your temper, the other party will never know where your bottom line is. The fact is that the earth will also have earthquakes, and the sea will also have tsunamis .
05 Active mentality
Finally, I will talk about a mentality that we think is particularly important, that is, active mentality.
Many people who are mediocre and complain about poor emotional control skills every day are mostly very passive people. For example, when you were walking on the streets of Beijing today, a piece of bird dropping on your head, which was fishy, smelly and particularly embarrassing. What should you do at this time? Of course, you can do nothing, lie flat on the spot, and wait for a few rains to wash it clean, but obviously you won’t do this, you must take the initiative to think of some solutions! But many people don’t understand this if they come to life.
Time can indeed dilute everything and relieve all negative emotions, but the problem is that you are uncomfortable at this moment. It is slow to relieve it. Shouldn’t you take the initiative to think of some ways to make it get better faster?
Talk to friends, do psychological counseling, do some sports to vent. The method is right in front of you, but many people just stay still, as if they are enjoying scalp care made from bird droppings.
Of course, you don’t expect that after reading this article today, your mentality will improve tomorrow, but at least, next time when negative emotions come, you accidentally have a sudden inspiration and remember what you have seen today, and then you want to try it a little and change your way of thinking, which is a great success.
Finally, if you want to learn more professional psychology knowledge, regulate your own mentality and emotions, and use psychology to help others, you can choose to learn psychological counselor professional skills training related knowledge.
Author of this article: Vuzi
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