In the last consultation, Mr. Toad and his psychological counselor discussed the topic of "anger", and Mr. Toad had a deeper understanding of the manifestation of anger.
Importantly, after several interviews, Mr. Toad's condition has improved greatly.
That day, he was drinking afternoon tea at home as usual and watching cricket games on TV. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and the uninvited guest was Mr. Toad's father's old friend, Badger.
Badger still acted as always as he did. As a preacher, the purpose of Badger's visit this time was to get the toad to withdraw from the position of school director and he would take over.
From the bottom of his heart, Toad loves this job. He likes to hold school summer activities on the lawn of his manor. More importantly, he can gain a sense of value in this job.
The badger's proposal made the toad angry, but after a moment, he once again began to doubt his ability. He thought, maybe the badger was more suitable for the job of a school director than him, and if the badger became a school director, he might do better than him.
In real life, we often meet people like badgers who always want to judge and guide others' lives. We often are like toads, not knowing how to reject others and not knowing how to express our thoughts correctly.
1.What kind of person is a badger?
First of all, badger is a arrogant and rude person. As a friend of Toad's father, he is very familiar with Toad Manor. When he comes to visit, he acts like a master, completely ignoring the existence of Toad. When he proposed his purpose of visiting, he also ordered the toad to agree to quit his job as a school director on the same day.
Secondly, he is still a picky, self-centered person. Toad fulfilled his duties as his master and warmly invited him to have afternoon tea, but he said that he "never eats anything other than a regular meal." He not only asked Toad to turn off the TV, but also wanted to show off his Narcissus when Toad took the initiative to find topics and talked about the saffron . .
Badger is still a sympathetic person. In his opinion, Toad's depression is just a pretentious thing to do. As Toad's father's friend, he has never really cared about whether Toad's illness has improved.
Anyway, in my opinion, Badger is a very annoying friend.
2. Why can’t the toad firmly say “no” to the badger?
Obviously, Toad does not like badgers. Toad is not only angry at his proposal, but also refuses it in his heart. But why can't he firmly say the word "no" when facing the badger?
In fact, like many people, Toad will not refuse the requests of others, especially friends in person. Deep down, he feels that rejecting others is impolite and incorrect, so it is always difficult to express his words if he refuses.
Two years ago, I often encountered young people selling beauty cards at the entrance of the mall. Their common words were like this: "Sister, your skin is a little dry! We will make you a free moisturizing mask , which will not delay you for a few minutes."
Many people refused to go to the beauty salon because they were embarrassed. When they walked out of the mall, they always carried a bag of skin care products they didn't need at all, and even applied for a beauty card worth thousands of yuan.
is difficult to refuse when facing strangers, let alone when rejecting family and friends.
In addition to being embarrassed, there is another more important reason. In the heart of Toad, the badger is a person who is as authoritative as his father. He is used to obeying and relying rather than resisting or rejecting. So when facing the badger's rude request, the toad sometimes has some doubts, but in the end he always denies himself.
3.How to effectively reject others?
If you want to reject others, the first thing you need to do is to think clearly about the true thoughts and needs deep in your heart. Like Mr. Toad, he likes the work of the school director and has no intention of giving up at the moment, so it is necessary to reject the badger.
Secondly, it is to build your own self-confidence.When we face the requests of our family, friends, and colleagues, we will inevitably doubt whether our rejection is wrong. The fundamental reason is that we are not confident. Therefore, you must discover your own advantages and regain confidence in small things, so that you can bravely reject others.
Finally, we must use the appropriate attitude and method to say "no" when rejecting.
The old saying goes, "Be a person, I want to see you in the future." When we reject others, we do not want to make each other's relationship stiff, so it is particularly important to refuse in the right way.
There may be many suitable ways, and different ways will be faced with different people, but I think first of all, we must be sincere in our attitude. We can sincerely express our true thoughts and strive for the other party’s understanding. Taking Toad as an example, he should tell Badger calmly that he likes the work of the school director and does not want to give up at the moment, and hopes he understands it. In this way, even if the other party does not understand, there will be no conflict.
Of course, the way of rejection varies from person to person, and the best thing that suits you is.
