At the wedding, the father took the bride's hand solemnly and handed it to the groom, and instructed affectionately: My daughter will entrust you to you in the future. Scenes like
are very common, and it seems that there is no problem. If the bride also believes that she will entrust the man for the rest of her life from then on and have this obsession to get along with him, then she may become a problem maker that will destroy their family environment in the future.
In this section, we are going to learn how to distinguish the obsessions behind language behavior and distinguish between negative obsessions and positive obsessions.
Superior Target
In the view of Adler , Superior Target is a life meaning. The meaning here is a person's persistence or obsession, that is, the "self-attachment" mentioned in Buddhism, hidden behind behavior and can be dynamically adjusted to compensate for the goal of inferiority .
Negative ego
Obsessive-compulsive disorder patients, just this is the case, nothing else can do, for example, things must be placed neatly.
The ego of patients with anxiety disorder means that they must live as they wish, without any problems, and within their control.
The ego of patients with depression is to seek a sense of existence and value, and to be afraid that others will not love themselves or ignore themselves, and will attack themselves because of external neglect or hypothetical neglect.
The process of depression
Depressed patients are always looking for a sense of being valued, living themselves into an radar , searching everywhere for evidence that they are not loved or valued. Every time I find one, I attack myself, and there is a voice in my heart: "Because I am not." As time goes by, the whole person becomes dull, his cognitive pattern changes, and his brain hormones change, and he feels depressed under such a joint effect.
Treatment of depression
According to research, one in every 14 people in China has a depressed patient or has been troubled by depression, but the severity is different. Depression is actually an telepathy . Its treatment and formation process are exactly the opposite. You need to take medicine first, change the brain hormones, and then find a psychological counselor to change the cognitive pattern.
In China, there are currently many misunderstandings about taking drugs for mental illness. The biggest harm of depression is suicide and death. Compared with the loss of life, drug dependence and side effects are nothing, so there is no need to avoid medical treatment.
Positive ego
ego lies in the sense of inferiority, and everyone has it. All human civilizations have developed based on inferiority. In a sense, humans are the weakest creatures on the earth. They need houses to shelter from the wind and rain and clothes to keep warm. All of these are inseparable from cooperation between people.
The person who can become a doctor is probably because he faced the threat of death when he was a child, so he has always been committed to fighting death for himself and others and enhancing his sense of security. The above ego is meaningful.
An important criterion for judging whether ego is meaningful , is to see if he can cooperate with people . The "entrusted" mentioned at the beginning of the article is actually contrary to cooperation. From the moment we enter the marriage hall, both husband and wife should realize that from then on, the two of them will work together to create a harmonious and happy family atmosphere. At the same time, each person will find their own responsibilities and take them into account.
