Do you sometimes feel confused and at a loss as to what to do? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by your own or your family’s psychological problems? Do you crave some simple and easy-to-understand psychological common sense?

Now let us enter

this issue of the "Little Youth" small class

In this issue, we will talk to you about

How to interact with peers?

Peer interaction is an important part of adolescent life. Students who are negatively evaluated and isolated by their classmates will have a negative impact on their growth due to the lack of good peer relationships.

Su Xueying, a psychological counselor at Guangdong 12355 Comprehensive Youth Service Platform, shared recent cases of psychological assistance. Zheng, who is currently in the second grade of junior high school, called 12355 late one night for consultation. He said that his relationship with his classmates has not been very good. "I feel like my classmates don't like me. They not only give me nicknames, but also isolate me. I feel very inferior, and I don't dare to take the initiative to interact with others."

Just a few days before the call, Zheng’s only two friends who got along well suddenly told her that they wanted to break off their friendship, which made her very sad.

Su Xueying carefully understood what happened, gently comforted classmate Zheng, and expressed understanding of her experience. "Because she was very emotional when the call started, I first used simple breathing and relaxation methods to slowly calm her down, and at the same time guided her step by step."

After understanding the basic situation of classmate Zheng, Su Xueying assessed that she was suffering from "emotional distress caused by long-term low self-esteem." There are many reasons for this trouble. A few days ago, her only two friends also expressed their unwillingness to play with her, which aggravated her denial of herself and felt that she was an unpopular person.

On the phone, Su Xueying said to classmate Zheng: "You can adjust your emotions first, find opportunities to communicate with friends, or seek help from teachers. If you feel isolated by many classmates, you also need to tell your parents or teachers in time, Let’s see how to solve this problem.”

Su Xueying suggested that students should try to socialize more with other students, participate in more school clubs, volunteer activities, etc. to broaden their friendship channels and learn skills in interacting with classmates. At the same time, Su Xueying also suggested that you should learn to separate the practical problems you face from your emotions. Solve problems first and don't rush to doubt or attack yourself. Don't get caught up in emotions, which may affect your judgment and solution to practical problems. "If you can reduce the impact of negative evaluations on yourself, you will gradually enhance your ability to solve problems and get rid of the feeling of helplessness."

Student Zheng felt understood and recognized, and her mood eased. She accepted the teacher's suggestion and was willing to try it. She called the 12355 platform in time to report the follow-up situation to further communicate with the psychological counselor and optimize the method.

Su Xueying told reporters from China Youth Daily and China Youth Daily that teenagers like Zheng’s age cannot yet form a clear understanding of themselves. "A lot of her self-image is obtained through external evaluation, and she cares a lot about other people's evaluations. Her relationship with her classmates is not good, which makes her have no confidence to take the initiative to interact with other classmates."

Su Xueying said that teenagers have a strong need for interpersonal communication at this age, but their bodies and minds are still developing and immature. Their views on some issues are prone to a binary differentiation of "good and bad" and lack of The ability to judge right from wrong and distinguish true from false is easy to follow blindly.

She specifically mentioned that teenagers at this stage are in the process of finding self-identity and understanding of "who am I", and are not stable with changes such as polishing, integration, and growth, and it is easy to have "inner and external conflict”.

What should teenagers do if they encounter similar difficulties in peer interaction? Su Xueying gave the following suggestions:

1. When you cannot solve the problem of peer interaction, you should seek help from parents and teachers in a timely manner. If necessary, seek help from professionals, such as school psychologists, counselors, consultants, specialists, and psychological aids. hotlines and other social support systems.

2. Make social contributions and participate in various positive and beneficial public welfare or collective activities.

3. Learn how to express your direct feelings, relax and soothe yourself, calm down first when encountering problems, and then solve the problems on the level of understanding.

4. Carry out positive psychological construction, maintain independent thinking ability, and do not base self-understanding on the evaluation of others.

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