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Once a reader sent a private message to talk about her grudges with her father-in-law. I wrote an article for her at that time talking about the issue of "avoiding suspicion" in marriage, because people's words are terrifying. Even if the mistake is not yours, you should avoid suspicion, otherwise it may be unfavorable to your reputation.
Three years later, today, she sent me a private message again, talking about the grudge between her and her father-in-law. Unlike last time, she talked more this time and the content was more straightforward. You can feel that she really couldn't bear it between the lines.
Let’s take a look at her story together (see the picture for details).
Teacher Donglin, Hello:
There is something I have been holding in my heart for a long time, and I don’t know how to tell you this story.
After I sprained my foot in 2019, my father-in-law's enthusiasm for me made me unacceptable, and I didn't pay much attention to him. I just spent a few years in peace. However, there were unexpected situations in the world. He was hit on December 24, 2020 and had a pelvic fracture. The perpetrator was not found, so we had to take care of ourselves.
After leaving the hospital, my husband had to go to work, so I took care of him while working, washed his clothes, cooked, poured a chamber pot, and took care of him meticulously. But as a result, this old guy took advantage of his son's absence and took care of him while I was holding something for him, and wanted to take further actions, but I avoided him in time.
Then, he said he wanted to drink water because he was not prepared and walked into the house and saw an unsightly scene. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I took a photo and sent it to his son to show it. told his son all his actions over the past few years. For example, he called me to harass me in the middle of the night; he used the excuse that he was bored at home alone, so he asked me to go down to chat with him...
After I told his son all this, fortunately, his son understood me and did not blame me. It was probably this story.
That old guy said in front of his neighbor that I was not good to him. Alas, people are doing things and God is watching, and I have a clear conscience!
Last year I had an operation and needed someone to take care of me. My man wanted to send him to the nursing home to stay for a few days and then take him back because if I couldn't raise it well, there would be sequelae. Haha, he quarreled with his son. The fool in my family actually learned to me intact the moment before I entered the operating room. As a result, it took 1.5 hours for someone to have an operation. I had the same operation and took 6 hours because there was no general anesthesia during the operation. I remembered the old thing and my blood pressure was high. But God blessed me, I came out smoothly.
I don’t know what to do when facing such shameless things, I can only think that he is dead. Please don’t laugh at me for being timid, because I dare not post all this on WeChat or say anything to others. The only way to vent is to leave you a message, because my own life will continue. I hope I can see the article you wrote about today.
Donglin Xiting Emotional suggestions:
She said please don’t laugh at her for being timid and afraid, don’t worry, I never laugh at anyone, otherwise who would dare to tell me the story? As a listener, I am still competent.
What I said is not a suggestion, but some of my own opinions. Please correct me if I am not rigorously. After all, I am just an ordinary person, not a saint.
The last time she asked me that her father-in-law's enthusiasm made her unable to stand it. I mentioned the issue of "avoiding suspicion", which means staying away from ethical right and wrong to avoid being terrifying.
But after reading the story she told today, she realized that her father-in-law was not a good person, not an old man who became bad, but a bad man who became old.
I think you should not be in any way of being a person like this. If he doesn’t respect you, there is no need for you to respect him. You can pay attention to both the inside and outside of the home.
In front of outsiders, as long as you are still worried about family scandals, or are afraid of affecting your life, you can pretend to be a filial person. In this case, it is necessary to act for others to watch. Acting is not because of being unfilial, but because of being forced to do so.
Of course, if the other party doesn't appreciate it and continues to ruin your reputation, you can completely put aside your concerns and make all his scandals public. But before this, you need to keep evidence, recording, video or photos ready.
There is no need to act at home. Anyway, it is already a fact that the other party is a human or a dog. If he doesn’t treat himself as a human, then you should treat him as a dog. There is also a precaution in this case, that is, be careful of being bitten by the other party. You should also keep good evidence and show off his son when necessary to make him sorry for you, instead of swallowing your anger and worrying that you will be criticized by others if you say it.
can also live separately and spend some money to find a nanny or something. Although it is a waste of money to spend on such people, it is better than being angry with yourself.
In short, special circumstances are treated with special conditions. Where there should be concerns, such as if you don’t want to divorce or let the family break up, you can endure it accordingly; but there is no need to endure other things, you must find a vent. Only when you have a good mentality can you persevere until he dies, otherwise it will be unprofitable if you collapse first.
There is a saying that "good people don't live long." If you think about it carefully based on the reader's story, you will find that good people worry too much, while bad people have nothing to worry about. From the perspective of mentality, bad people have good mentality, so if a good person has a lot of worries all day long and dare not resist after being bullied by bad people, it will invisibly shorten his life span .
So, the key to this problem lies in the "mindset". If you want to be a good person who lives long, you need to make yourself thicker and not be so polite to everyone, otherwise you will only suffer.
